Confused: Again...

In this world of no blacks and whites but only grays, where being neutral is the only way, where “striking the balance” is the mantra, can’t a person be both ethical yet compassionate??
Is being practical, selfish, a little self-centered yet NOT being a bad person after all possible??
Don’t most of do what is the best for US and then try to find a way to justify our selfishness by promoting the fact that we are actually helping the society?? And is it that wrong to think about oneself, to be ambitious, to want to get the best in life and does it imply that such a person cannot love anyone else, (after all it is said that love is selfless but aren’t you in love with that person to somewhere fulfill that need within you, a need to love, to care, to feel needed, wanted!!) care for anybody, be helpful??
I don’t know what I mean by the above defenses, whether I actually have a point or am plainly confused and contradicting myself or for that matter, justifying my actions…
Care to throw some light??