Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A myth or not..

Since I’ve begun reading or watching movies, love and romance have been the central theme. I have always liked movies and books that involved friendship or romance in them, a fact that I’ve always tried to deny.

I have cried when true love is actually found or even lost, when friends have realised they love each other; and then smiled, even laughed aloud at parts in books when the hero proposes the heroine and she agrees to marry him. I have felt giddy with expectation at the build up of their first kiss and at times (I know super silly of me!!) even related myself to the characters, imagining the male protagonist being the guy I’d be fancying at that point of time.

However, lately I am seeing myself getting disillusioned day by day. I see myself coming closer to the thought that true love and romance is maybe just a myth and there is perhaps no right way around it. Some books/ movies show the girl going all out for the guy and they live happily ever after, others show a non-interested girl whom the guy woos and they the happys are repeated. But none of them show that after a while either or both of them simply lose interest or even though one person is still madly in love, the other has a happily after with someone else.

Now I think that maybe love is all big illusion and the practical aspects like if the girl is beautiful or not or the guy is well settled pretty much dominate the scene. And getting used to this harsh reality is taking a while to seep in.

But since the emotions love outbeats any other emotion in the world, I will not give up, at least for a little while more..

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Affirmation of how it is to be..

Sometime ago, I lost something most precious to me. I know it was bound to happen sooner than later and that I couldn’t have it forever. The fact is that the moment I got it, with it came the truth about the non-permanency of it.

I think there are these things that you get in life, maybe because that’s what you need then or because how badly you’ve wanted them for years. God gives them to you with an expiry date, the difference is that there’s nothing mentioned and you have to keep guessing when it’ll be lost. The worst is to lose them suddenly and it’s terrible, like somebody has punched you in your stomach and though the hurt doesn’t show, it has weakened you beyond doubt. The other aspect would be that you understand how much hurt you are capable of bearing and surprisingly, you’ve always been underestimating yourself. Luckily for me the pain was gradual, it was breaking and I could see it so the loss was expected.

The question is: Was it worth having while you did or you were better of living in ignorance the amount of joy life is capable of giving you. There is no specific answer that I have for it; just that I smile when I think of it and I guess that is enough. And I also wonder, maybe I’ll find it again, in a different form and if I’ll be up for getting tempted this time..

Monday, April 16, 2012

Along came the conversation..

Last night’s conversation was such a déjà vu moment for me. I’ve known this person all my life, like literally. He could qualify as my “chaddi buddy”, as we call it. Though we weren’t pals really but obviously being bought up together, in the same environment, with the exact set of values makes me relate to him in a way that I wouldn’t with others.

We had lost touch for the longest of time. He moved out for his +2 and then stayed out while I went to NIFT, never to come back. I did hear about him off and on but that was it. And now when I think back, I don’t even remember how we got each other’s current numbers. Anyways, he visited Delhi last year, we caught up and ended up chatting until the wee hours, and I don’t remember laughing as much for the longest of time.

Now we catch up once a while online and it is always fun. Last night, as usual the topic moved to marriage and I realized how similar our families were. They respected us as adults and it was sort of an eye opener along with a sinking feeling of your precise thoughts being echoed, across the internet in this case.

While talking to him I got to know that he had an aversion to curd like I had for ketchup, how he still remembers all the landline numbers of those times of all uncles and aunties in the group which completely freaked me out. And I remembered all the numbers of the cars we have ever had. It was like going back to those early days, just so funny but amazing.

And then he said that at times marriage was just a “leap of faith”, something that I had heard from someone a long time ago. Last time as advise, this time merely voicing a thought and both times it never failed to hit its mark..