Monday, December 31, 2007

Of wanting to end it on a happy note..

An end of another year,
..of memories, happiness and some regrets too..

A new begginning,
..hopefully to a great future!!

P.S: Happy New Year to all!! :)

Monday, December 24, 2007


They were disappearing one by one..
Till the last of them vanished..

A clue to give in..
A clue to not look back and be sad,
But cherish what there ever was..

And yet there is hope..

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Wishing I could do more..

I work as a buyer for one of the biggest footwear firms in the country. The enormity of the above sentence struck me on my last visit to Kolkata. I, for the first time realized the power I held and how the fate of a few hundreds depended upon the decisions I took, the mistakes I committed and the feeling was far from making me feel good!!

I work with a wide array of businessmen, some who have been into shoe making for years and yet others who’ve just begun. They have invested so much of themselves into it, both financially and emotionally and it breaks my heart when I have to cancel orders, reject supplies, and basically do all the dirty work…

I met this young man who has been trying very hard to work things out with us, giving us the best prices possible, sampling footwear for us like crazy but unfortunately he goofed up in production and we had to stop it. It was so disheartening to see his factory almost empty and being the one responsible for its state, even to an extent..

Another is this old guy who has been working with us for past 28 years and does the basic, low priced chappals. I went to meet him and he told me how for the first time in all these years his factory has been shut down due to lack of work. I felt like burying myself right there but at times you are nothing but helpless. I can’t buy products which are not selling so I decide to give them new designs, get them developed and pray that they will sell, both for them and for my conscience sake..

Now I fully understand the meaning of the phrase “with power comes responsibility” and I don’t like the sound of any of it!!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


You are a Brainy Girl!
Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

You Are a Coy Flirt!

You're not so much a flirt as the type of girl who draws flirts in
While you look like you're just relaxing, secretly you've got your game on
A little look here, a little wink there... you give men the encouragement they crave
And in return, they flirt up a storm with you - while you just sit and smile

Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer

For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that's not in guidebooks.
You truly have wanderlust. When you're not traveling, you're dreaming about where you'll go next.
And your travels are truly legendary - they leave you with stories you'll be telling for the rest of your life!

You are White Chocolate

You are White Chocolate
You are sweet, caring, and truly very innocent.Whether your naive ways are a bit of act or not, people like to take care of you.
You are a quiet flirt, and your power is often underestimated!

Time passing at:

Monday, December 10, 2007

And thats how its done.

Took up this one from J ...on discovering, tagging, blogging, commenting... Don't know how many tags I've done until now but anyways, here it goes:

BLOGGING: Was introduced to it by a friend about an year ago and when I begin to reason why I blog, am left with the following answers:
- I began because I wanted to maintain that standard of English (though there's not much to "maintain") for I believe that by stopping to write, one forgets the appropriate words to express themselves.
- I love to write; find it easier penning my thoughts on paper, reasoning out things than talking it out.
- Reading what others think about issues, getting various perspectives, learning new things fascinates me.
- After being here, I've realised that certain emotions I feel are not mine alone and that I got company!! :)
- Met some amazing people here to whose writings I always look forward to...

DISCOVERY: Refer to "blogging", pretty much covers it all..

COMMENTING: I love to read, be it about an issue, something funny, anything arbit, basically anything at all. And on reading, if I like it or I don't like it, I choose to speak out..

Am done with another tag and it just hit me that my tags are beginning to make just a little sense after all..

The tag's passed on to anyone who chooses to take it.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

A random discussion, a funny discovery..

This conversation with a male friend of mine began with the usual topic: girls!! He was telling me how these nice, intelligent females were all taken by the so called “studds”, forcing me to bully him saying that why didn’t he get one then… he was in a confessional mood and admitted that these dudes were a class apart. Basically they were par excellence at everything: academically, socially, sports, theatre, you just had to name it.

My comment that such people, through extremely intelligent often saw professional failures made me realize a thing or two in the due course. Reasoning began: the logic behind the theory was that such people, wherever they went, found the work, the place and the people below their standards (no fault of theirs!!). Being of a much higher I.Q, the scope of learning and growth were limited compared to us mere mortals who struggle each day even for the completion of the smallest tasks and felt great sense of achievement when our boss appreciates it.

This friend contributed too. He told me that with him in IIT, there was this guy, an all India JEE high ranker, in short BRILLIANT!! Post college, he appeared for CATs and the only preparation done by him was to fill his form. Success again: he got through all the IIMs and chose Bangalore. This gentleman then interned at one of the most reputable finance firms in the world and was given a job offer; he declined it and joined a consultancy firm only to quit in the coming four months. The dude has been sitting idle for past year and a half!!

For the first time in my life I realize that I’m blessed with lesser I.Q. At times, it takes ages for me to understand things, I goof up, make a zillion mistakes and ask even more questions but I work hard and learn and appreciate a day well gone after that tiny pat on my back from my boss…

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The BIG deal about getting married..

Being off age and obviously being surrounded by people of the similar age bracket, a lot of my friends/ relatives are getting fixed for marriage. And man, the moment they realize that soon the knot will be tied, they begin to behave strangely. Here are a few examples of the temporary lapse of mental abilities I’ve noticed in people:

- A friend of mine began drinking every evening and smoking heavily. Once upon a time, he was a sane fellow and resorted to stuff once in a while.

- This girl friend I have did smoke earlier on but quit. She said that soon she’ll be married and have a family and smoking would not be good for it all and I so respected her for behaving so mature. A month ago she got fixed and since then has been smoking everyday, says soon she’ll be married and won’t be able to do it anymore. What was the point quitting anyways??

- Another relative who’ll soon be in-the-loop is an example I must put here. During college, this bloke was into smoking, drinking, wrong company and ate non vegetarian food, infact loved it (I DO NOT see any harm in that, so all the carnivores, no offense intended, just read on!!). Then he suddenly grew up when he moved out of town (another classic, people “get into” such stuff after leaving home) and quit everything to the point of stop eating even egg. He got into yoga, meditation, even fasting once a week. To present: he’s slowly getting back to it all!!

I’ve begun to wonder what actually does happen to people?? Are they happy/ sad or scared of the prospect and if any of the latter two, why go for it until you aren’t ready… I’ve heard that the prospect of losing their freedom freaks them out and if I begin to think on those lines, I wouldn’t get married ever because not being free scares the shit out of me. I wonder does it actually happen that you get bound post marriage or does it become a taboo to have fun?

But the question that on top of my mind is : “Will I too become paranoid and indulge into idiotic things when it happens to me??

Monday, November 26, 2007


And then it all comes back,
The times shared,
Moments spent,
Life lived...

And you relive it all in your head and wish...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Of questions,answers and confusions too...

Yesterday after the shoeline presentation, which surprisingly went pretty well, we attended this seminar called “How to gain Self Confidence- Amazing Secrets to boost your Confidence” by an outside speaker Mr. Rajiv Mathur.

He began the session with a prayer and requested us all to close our eyes and kind of meditate (which by the way I didn’t do). Being primarily a session aimed at motivating marketing personnel, the talk revolved around those areas. The topics mainly discussed were Self Growth, Positive thinking and Risk Taking and having heard the same for a zillion times and not belonging to the marketing division, the discussion failed to impress me much. However, being the only female in a crowd of forty did not give me that privilege of not concentrating as the speaker’s and my bosses eyes often sought mine amidst any discussion.

Although I give due credit to the presenter, the session was a drag. One of a very senior person in my office and few of the people I actually respect, Mr. Anant Ranjan’s contribution was however impossible to ignore. Two of the things he said were:

- While discussing why our company was not performing as well in contrast to others, inspite of having the biggest infrastructure, distribution and networking in India, Mr. Ranjan said “ours is like Gulliver (from Gulliver’s Travels) and these small firms have tied us down. Now its upto us to realize our strengths, break those shackles and rise again.” Funnily enough I quite liked the comparison and remember it in that state of semi consciousness.

- Another input by him while discussing how to bring out that hidden potential in an employee was “a job either brings out the BEST or the BEAST in you, the difference is just of an ‘A’”.

I thankfully left the conference mid-way inspite of his superb comments but there are a few things that I gathered from it. I understood that though I did like what Mr. Ranjan said but at times you cannot figure out why. Am in process of finding that answer for myself…

Monday, November 19, 2007

The irony of it all!!

People change...
Feelings change...
But surprisingly enough, the words remain the same!!

Thursday, November 15, 2007


- 7:00 am every morning: The alarm buzzes and I get up from my warm bed, put it off and go back to sleep…

- 8:00 am: The maid knocks the door; I open it and crawl back into my bed for that 5 minute, ever precious sleep.

- 8:10 am: I get up with a jolt, realize that those five minutes have stretched upto ten and I really really need to rush to be in the office at 9:00 am.

- 8:55 am: 5 minutes to go and am tying my shoe laces, shoving my breakfast of fruit into a paper bag and giving instructions to my maid, all simultaneously!!

- 9:00 am: Am in my car and driving like a woman possessed who’s trying to break some kind of record of commuting from DLF to the Bata building, with the heavy morning traffic and the metro work in progress, in 7 minutes flat. And yay!! I do it every time…

- 8:30 pm: Am still at work and trying to figure out how would I ever manage to buy that pair of jeans I so desperately need (have been wearing this one for almost two weeks now, with one in laundry and the other one LOST!! plus umpteen whose fit I don’t like anymore... sigh...)

- 8:35 pm: Realise that I just have to get that jeans, it’s a question of life and death now and I simply cannot wear this anymore. Again my drive takes me to the malls.

- 8:45 pm: Am soo lucky!! The Levis store is open and I manage to grab a pair only to realize that I fit into one size larger than the one am wearing. Hell freezes and I complain to the salesman; he gives me crap like it’s a slim fit and hence the size variation. Although its some consolation but then, what crap!! Give me the fit I already wear but phuleese make me fit into the previous size… I decide to go on a diet. Period.

-9:15 pm: My flatmate joins me and we happily go to the food court and hog on the oohhh so delicious pasta.

Back to point 1: Did any of you try wondering why the hell do I set my alarm for 7.00 am everyday when I have to get up only after 8:00?? Well, every single evening, post dinner I realize how much weight I’ve put on and pledge to go for a run in the morning. But then those sleep devils coax me into that just-a-five-minute sleep and I happily give in to the temptation: yet again!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Tags and some more..

Well, here I take a tag again to fill that blog vaccum... Somehow lately I haven't been able to think of anything worthy enough of a post so the tag shall have to do. I was tagged by Memyself_n_I and here it goes:

-Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it:I have a tiny scar just above my right eye, got it as a child while playing don't know what.

- What does your phone look like? My phone, well I use a Reliance so don't have much of a choice... Got a Nokia 6265 and now I don't even know why I invested into such an expensive cellphone (according to my standards), hardly use any of its functions!! :(

- What is on the walls of your bedroom? Well nothing at all, I am a minimalist. ;)

- What is your current desktop picture? You all know whats on my PC at work, my laptop has this picture of my best friend and me in Goa!! :D

Will this ever end?? Whewww...

- Do you believe in gay marriage? Totally, its absolutely individual and I respect it.

- What do you want more than anything right now? Leave my current job...just run away!!

- Are your parents still together? Yes.

- Last person who made you cry? Some jerk I don't even want to mention here.

- What is your favorite perfume/cologne? Gucci/ Lacoste

- What are you listening to? Nothing, my office doesn't permit people enjoying their work, though am humming Lemon Tree.. :)

Why am I writing this?? Does it make any difference at all??

- Do you get scared of the dark? Nope, not at all, woudn't survive in Gurgaon otherwise..

- Do you like pain killers? Whaaaa?? Who began this tag anyways?

- If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? Nothing, just had a chocolate, all to myself.. ;)

- Who was the last person who made you mad? This colleague of mine who has a major attitude problem.

- Who was the last person who made you smile? Am mad, at times I smile for no obvious reasons, but well, here I'll give it to S.

- Is someone in love with you? Yep..think so.. ;)

Yay!! I did it!! And now it my turn to do the honours. So the tag goes to Sangfroid, Adi Crazy, Ani and Sreejith plus whoever wants to take it up..Till then!! :)

Thursday, November 01, 2007

My feel good factors.

- Reading a good book with a hot chai during rains.
- Driving back home from work after a particulary hectic day...good music, empty roads.
- Hanging out with friends and laughing your lungs out for no apparent reason.
- Having a heart to heart with an old friend after a long time.
- My family laughing at the of stupidest jokes I crack...
- Eating good food at a nice, quiet place, surrounded by people you want to be with.
- Feeling the sun on your face on a cold, winter morning..
- The spitter splatter of rains...
- Being nasty and getting away with things that my male friends can't, just by giving your best smile.
- Those very brief crushes..
- Getting up in the morning, being all ready for work and then bunking it, just for a two hour sleep!!
- Watching my niece and nephews grow up.
- Coming across an old mail, note with memories attached to them..
- Getting goose bumps on watching a very romantic movie.
- Discussing good old college days.
- Freedom...

Monday, October 29, 2007

Am sad... :'(

N moved out today,
Hadn't realised till now how important she was,
Already missing her lots!! :(

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Ball Syndrome!!

Being in the work scene for three years now, I had just heard about female exploitation, but now being on the receiving end, I exactly know what its like…

I am sooo mad at people here!! A series of events in my office made me witness what I just saw in movies or heard from other people. How the “weaker gender” used their feminism to rise at work… Mine is an MNC and primarily comprises of middle-aged men in their late 40s, staying away from home while the top management constitutes of foreigners, again away from their families. Being on the top level plus being a ‘firang” gives them that added advantage of getting away with things on the pretext of being liberal, unlike us Indians…

The first incident happened at this meeting where we presented our collection to one of the senior guys. He is an Italian guy in his late 40s or 50s. He made this female stand on the display table before about thirty people saying that he wanted to see the look of a particular footwear design on the feet. The female was more than happy to oblige and get all the attention even with people passing remarks and spreading their arms and asking her to fall, she was all smiling and laughing… Was that attitude alright or am I the only one who’s seeing things out of proportion??

A few days ago, in another meeting, I took a step behind to give this senior guy space to walk. By chance my shoulder just brushes mildly to the rack behind, “not hurting” me at all. That a****** has the audacity to rub my shoulder…It’s a probability that he’d have thought that I might have hurt myself, but I believe that every girl recognizes a touch, the intention behind it and I felt disgusted. All I could do was shrug his hand and give him the coldest, dirtiest look possible…

Towards the end of it, I am confused. I don’t know whether its the men who suffer from the so called “ball syndrome” to be blamed or the females who do let them take that kind of advantage.. But one thing is for sure, its soon going to be bye-bye time for me (hopefully)!!

Monday, October 22, 2007


Long time ago I had this discussion with a friend about the concept of "Soulmates"... Although I am not a very romantic person but somewhere I do believe in it, I do believe that once in your lifetime you do find a person whose perfect for you, with all his/her imperfections...

It may be your friend or the one you love or even a person you barely know but you find that strange connection with him/her which exists with nobody else. You find yourself drawn to that person, you may love him or even hate him, you may or may not get to be with him but the connection is almost tangible...the pain of being away unexplainable.

You may not be in touch with that someone for ages, infact never be able to talk at all but the bond exists, in your heart, in your mind...and suprisingly, even that seems enough...

Monday, October 15, 2007


I am sooooo HAPPY...
I am glad that Saturday happened!! :)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

My latest wishlist..

I am at work right now and thats the last thing I want to do... So here I end up reading everyone's posts on my blogroll and wishing that:

- I could get a week off, go back home, get pampered, read a lot, sleep, eat good food and not worry about getting back to work the next day.
- Saturday would come sooner, I take an off this time!! :)
- N would find a job in Gurgaon and wouldn't have to move out of the house...
- I get super powers and remember all the figures am supposed to memorise every week... :(
- My boss would begin to like me just a teeni-tiny bit!!
- I could meet my parents.
- Meet all my friends from school (+2) OR college (NIFT/IIT), hang out with them, have fun like the good old days...
- Shop till I die... ;)
- Decide whether I should go for hair straightening or not!!
- Collect money soon enough to buy my Dad that laptop I've been saving up for.
- Both my categories would show sky rocketing profits!! Lol.. I've lost it completely... ;)

Thats it!! Before starting to write this one, I thought I'd have a long list but surprisingly I finished pretty quickly..sigh!! Now I can peacefully get back to work and stop feeling guilty of wasting time!! ;)

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Tagging for fun!! :)

Although I am not particulary fond of tags, took up Rajeev's to fill that vacum in blogging. Its simple, easy and fun!! :) Plus, I've had a particularly tensed day at work and blogging seemed approriate to calm my jittery nerves..

This screen shot is that of my PC at work (now you guys can very well imagine how vela I am here!!) ;) I like my desktop uncluttered hence so much of free space..

Anyone willing to take up this tag can, but please let me know, it would be fun taking a peek other spaces too!! :)

Saturday, September 29, 2007

The one where Papa came to meet me...

Yesterday turned out to be a delightful one for me. My Dad was in Delhi for work and after much difficulty and a lot of planning we managed to get together yesterday. I've been out for about 8 years now and unfortunately my parents have never visited me once, be it college or the places I have worked at. Its not that they don't care, its plain curcumstances... At times I was too busy with work and then there would be something or the other happening back home. And then I love them for trusting me to take care of myself!!

Anyways, my Dad came home and I showed him around my place, which he did find quite impressive. One feat accomplished as he hates unkept places, is quite finicky about cleaniness ( a trait I've inherited too), and to match his standards of living are kind of an immpossibility, success again.. ;) Papa noticed the lack of television at my place and so now am a proud owner of Sony Wega 21 inches set!! :)

We proceded on to have lunch and for once my brains worked faster than my mouth and I slipped my debit card before the bill came, to the waiter without my Dad noticing. He was so proud that I'd managed to pay a 500 bucks bill, basically treat him that he was smiling ear to ear, the fact that he'd just got me a 10K television set went totally unnoticed...

We can't seem to stop when we begin talking and its always nice of him to take my side when asking for an opinion, even though I am wrong!! :D So after chatting with him, telling him even the tiniest details of my life, and making jelly of my poor Dad's brains, I was duely dropped home as he had to rush back and those few hours with Papa were so much fun... However I bunked work (had promised to be there post lunch) as I was feeling too nostalgic and missing Ma and Papa...

Currently I feel like the most pampered daughter in the world and thinking of how ammazing my parents are, I forget all my blues. Till I have them by my side, all will be fine...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Of Realisations and Insight...

I haven't been able to post anything for sometime now and its getting to me. The work pressure is tremendous and by the end of the day am so drained that can't seem to come up with anything though I do manage to visit and comment on others blogs which is some solace.

Anyways, lots been happening with me, some more realisations, a little more insight... For once I realised what a bad judge of character I was. I know this someone for years and never understood how two faceted he/she was...whats a person without honesty, without integrity enough to stand by what one has done instead of shoving the blame on someone else??

One of my friends/ colleagues pointed out that I came across as an arrogant person, a person with airs about herself on the first meeting. I verified it with a few of my closest friend and they agreed to it which was quite surprising. Yeah, I would say that I am slightly reserved initially, I do have my inhibitions when I first meet someone but they wander off as quickly...Something wrong being a little cautious??

In a jiffy right now, just had to post the above... shit, am so confused!! Better post next time..

Friday, September 21, 2007

Thats it!!

Am at the end of my tether, can't take it anymore..its all goofed up: personally and professionally...

And here I crib again!!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Not a penny less..

Mr. Bully was in a comparitively better mood today..sigh!! (I've begun judging how my day went, by his moods now!!). Anyways, somehow managed to extract information about filling the incentive format and if I manage to do it right, I get richer by a few grands!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Been tagged!!

Here are the rules:

- Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
- When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
- At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
- Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

Got tagged by Ani/ Akanksha and taking a clue from them, this is what I have to pitch in…

Middle name: GOOFER!!

G- “Goofer” that’s what I am. I have to do something mundane out of any task: In kitchen, I drop anything which am holding firmly enough, at work I mess up with digits (interchange them!!) and at home I forget to do the simplest of things..

O- “O” is probably one of my favorite shapes. I find this form very appealing, friendly… It gives me the feeling that its unbiased as it doesn’t point in any direction in particular. (Am I mad??) :P

O- Oohhmmm… an expression I resort to get out of any sticky situations/ to handle various adequate reaction problems/ when I know admitting the truth would be committing suicide.

F- Freedom!! That’s the essence of my life… I need freedom to work, to live, to be…

E- Easy going... I am , totally!!

R- Romantic…just a lil bit!! ;)

Thankfully, Ani and Akanksha tagged me together so I had to do just one… :P. Its actually a little painful writing tags (but if I had to, so will the rest!! mean me..) and I shall pass it on to
- Aparna
- Madhatter
- Sharddha.

The rest have already gone through the ordeal..

Monday, September 10, 2007

A post long overdue..

In college, we were a group of 7 girls and each was a character in her own right.We stuck together all the time and someone even nicknamed us as the “seven sparrows”!! You see one and would be sure that the rest six are somewhere in the vicinity. However, the shining star of our set was (and mind you, still is) “G”. She’s exclusive, the most famous one, our very own social butterfly… Now “G” being all renowned and stuff, had quotes without which the history of our group remains incomplete.

So this one goes to “G”: THE STAR!! :

- Ladkiyon…blah blah.. (That’s how we got addressed as!!).
- I am seriously serious guys… (She’s trying to make a point here..).
- Oye ladki!! (Individual addressing lingo..).
- “Everyone knows “G” in NIFT” (this ones true!!)
- ME: What are you doing?
G: Rangoli bana rahi hoon!! We had this conversation every morning while sitting in adjacent loos in the hostel !! (am soooo dead!!) ;)
- Life sudharo… (Her constant effort at improving our state of minds/ lifestyles, which she thinks is totally distrupted).
- G’s definition of lipstick: “Akal ki Dawayi”!!

I’ve missed quite a few of her quotable quotes but that’s all I could recollect for now. I also know for a fact that I am finished if/ after she gets to read this one but its worth the abusives nonetheless.

P.S: Dedicated to G with contributions from Ap, T and V.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Moving on!!

Quite recently one of my friend's relocated to another city for work and I could hear that excitement, nervousness, wierdness in his voice over the phone...

That reminded me of everytime I had moved to a new place: the butterflies in my stomach and the nervousness I felt which I didn't admit to anyone... But now when I recollect, I realise that it wasn't mere anxiety, it was an anticipation of being in a new place, surrounded by new things/people. There was a strange rush of adrenaline, this feeling of giddiness that overwhelms you only when either you are in love or in a new environment...

Now being in a job where I get to travel quite a bit, I have to confess that its an amazing feeling to absorb new surroundings, learning something new and being with new people... I realise that every place is unique and gives you its typical vibes that makes one like or dislike a place. It takes an instant for me to predict whether I would enjoy being there or not... Right or wrong, its worth the risk for the novelty of it all!! :)

Monday, September 03, 2007

Broken lines...

A tiny stab of dissapointment...
She's losing touch...
The connection is fading...
The clues are vanishing...
.... probably its all for the best!!

Friday, August 31, 2007

Love you Papa..

My Dad spoils me crazy and I love him for it!! ;)

Yeh, I am the youngest of his three daughters and probably the most pampered one (I know each of us think that in our own right!)... At times I feel guilty of merely mentioning of wanting anything to Papa and he getting it for me. Once while talking to my parents I happened to say how spoilt I was and how they got me everything that I asked for... Here's what my dad said:

"Am happy that I am able to give what my children ask for... (shows how basic my demands are!! ;)) It has taken me time to reach here but I have."

And so I continue to give that joy of "giving" to Papa and making him happy!! ;)

P.S: I love my Dad for a lot more things than just spoiling me, but this one feels the best!!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Momentary happiness..

The past week has been hectic even with Mr. Bully (read my boss) not around. But for once I am enjoying the work pressure after coming to this new work place of mine. There's no one to constantly nag me and bully me before the "Big Boss" and I have the freedom to work at my own pace... :)

I am working nearly 12 hours a day and yet having fun... But my days of happiness are short lived, he returns this Saturday!!

Dammit, why do the good times just seem to fly by??

Monday, August 27, 2007


On my last visit to home, I was forced by my mother to clean the drawers and cabinets of my study table. It’s a task I hate doing not because I am lazy or messy but because those cabinets are filled with memories that are at times a little painful to relive… Here’s what I found:

- Tons of cards and letters.
- Photographs of visit to the South on my school trip.
- Chocolate covers, loads of them!!
- Dried flowers.
- My slam books.
- Old journals.
- Friendship bands.
- Old test tubes!!
- All sorts of colour mediums- pencils, crayons, oil pastels, sketch pens, spray colours, markers…
- Old art files.
- More chocolate wrappings…
- “Love is...” clippings from newspapers, neatly stacked in an envelope…
- A (unused) diaper and a feeding bottle.
- Scribbled notes and doodles.
- My favorite poem “Daffodils” by William Wordsworth given to me by Ap during college.
- Chewed old pens and pencils.
- Old gift-wrappings.
- Old birthday pictures.
- Clippings of graphics and layouts that interested me back then…
- A copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach.
- A pendant.
- Memories…

Rummaging through my cabinets took me down the memory lane and I relived almost a decade, cherished a thousand moments and appreciated all that I had in life: my friends, all those happy and sad times… Am so nostalgic!!

P.S: My cabinets still remain in that state of total chaos.. ;)

Monday, August 20, 2007

Welcome to Haryana!!

Staying in Gurgaon, a part of Haryana, the “femme fatale” here have to undergo a zillion trials posed by the supremely ruling male ego… They leave no opportunity to harass, bully and infuriate you by their open display of chauvinism. God forbid, if you are victimized, there would be no way out of it accept withdrawing gracefully or apologizing, even if it isn’t you mistake. And terror strikes if you have the audacity to disagree with them or show the slightest inclination to fight back for then you are subjected to harassment, abuse and even violence at times…

The above is an outpour of my anger at the incident that happened yesterday. My roomy and me were driving to someplace, the road to which is particularly bumpy and hence requires a lot of steering the car if one wants to avoid getting into huge potholes. Suddenly I hear an abuse followed by an instruction to stop the car. Fearing I had hurt someone, I stopped immediately and was surrounded by about eight men in an instant. They began screaming that I wasn’t driving properly. When I dared to ask what wrong had I done, this guy comes up with that while steering away from a humungous pothole, “on a straight road”, I hadn’t given an indicator. However, either of the cars showed no signs of damage and hence I dared to argue back. A mistake I realized soon enough when these people started raising their voices and I could see aggression in their eyes.

Slightly shaken, we apologized only to hear “bas aisa boliye na ki aapki galti hai”. All of them withdrew and we witnessed the ultimate of Haryanavi male ego.

However, this was not the end of it… As luck would have it, I bumped into the same set in the market and got to hear the comment: “marron kya??” (should I hit her?), while the other one answered: “rehne de!!”. We got pretty shaken and ended up running from the place.

Don’t know what should I be thinking by the end of it all… Can men go to this extent to prove their physical power over females? Would anybody have stood up had something happened? It gives me shudders to think of the answers…

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Lesson of the Day!!

Life's like the tangled wires of my earphones set: the more you hurry untangling it, the more twisted they get...

But if you are patient and take it easy, you tidy it all in a bit...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

My favorite Doodle!! ;)

With nothing to do and a paper and pencil in hand, I doodle/ scribble/ jot down things... Above is one of the cartoons I love doing.

Usually its not this refined but without a scanner and the whole of holiday at my disposal, I used Corel Draw to squiggle a bit!! ;)

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Strange are the ways of Life..

You begin talking to a complete stranger and you connect. In that unknown person you find a friend, a confidante, a soul barer. Its easy sharing your thoughts because the fear of being jugded, of being gossiped about does not exist. You confide beacuse this friendship which has no face, no identity, no expectations is secure, safe... You are learning new things, growing...

Years pass, time goes by and the bond strengthens. You start trusting, relying, getting dependant to an extent. Then BANG!! It all evaporates, the friend- once stranger is looking for more, more than that can be given, "more" that is impossible!!

Have you lost a friend??

Monday, August 13, 2007

Random Thoughts.

I have been staying in the hospital for past one week and with nothing better to do, have been pondering on the state of my past/ present only to come to the following conclusion:

- My life is what I've made of it.
- Although things haven't gone my way, especially at the relationships front, I've lost the bitterness of the past year. I am glad that the people who've stuck by me, have; and am glad that the ones who left me have done me good too. :)
- I feel more secure now, more in my skin.
- My parents are awesome and so are my siblings. Love you all!!
- Saw how my parents stand by each other, saw how much my dad loves mom and how they communicate it without a word, even a gesture. This re-affirms my belief in the institution of marriage.
- My job is good, can do a lot with this kind of work experience.
- Am not sure if I want to get married right now, short-listing of guys has begun at home!!
- I have the freedom to choose. ;)
- Am content, mom's operation went well.
- I hope things get sorted out on the family front.
- Things are going smooth so far...wondering whats going to disrupt it all. Am keeping my fingers crossed.

Probably none of it makes sense to anyone, to me its the current state of affairs in my life.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Whats with me??

Will I ever be loved/important enough for anyone to write a post on me or merely mention me in one??

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

And so I don't stop...

Its 9:30am in the morning and I am loaded with work. Yet, I have this sudden urge to write so I decide to keep my work aside and post a blog!!

Just went through a friend’s writings and realized that compared to hers, my postings are pretty sad…

- My English is too basic.
- My thoughts too repetitive.
- There’s hardly anything “that” exciting happening in my life.
- The blog seems to lack essence, spirit!!
- There is no signature style in my writing… or is there? Need help on this one from those few wonderful souls who go through my postings.
- Does what I do/feel/write matters to anyone?? Do I care? On this one I’d say: “Yes I do; evidence: this post!!

Inspite of the above, I don’t know how to improve so I shall continue what I enjoy doing without trying to bother whats thought of it all…

Friday, July 27, 2007


Date: 21st July 2007
Place: Landmark Stores
Time: 6:30am
Occasion: Release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Nothing in the world can make me wake up so early in the morning except when its absolutely necessity driven. One of such instances was the day of the release of my favorite book: Harry Potter!!

I have been awaiting this book for months, speculating with my friends the fate of Potter, fearing the worse… This was my second trip to Landmark, the previous one made the night before at 12 hoping that the book would be out by then as per IST standards. Was disappointed when the notice outside the store requested the fans to be patient and asked us to come at 6 in the morning.

Next morning, the alarm buzzed at the set time and there I was with my equally crazy flat mate at Landmark, which is a stone’s throw from my place… Pottermania had caught on and there were complete families buying books, people from Hindustan Times and some arbit channel interviewing the crowd. We too got our share of the glory and were asked for comments, clicked too in pajamas with that totally out-of-the-bed look. The reporter told us that we could see us on www after 5pm that eve or if luck were with us, the next day in the newspapers!! We were so proud of this achievement of ours, thinking that probably that’s the only time our parents would see us in any sort of media!!

Reached back home and the reading began, I couldn’t concentrate on work that day, Saturday working hours lasted for two hours and I managed to finish my book by Sunday morning (my flat mate is still on it!!).

Although we didn’t manage to make our mark anywhere on the publicity front, the book was a complete pleasure. Now I even have a PDF so I can refer to it at any time in the office and then there are friends online always to discuss the nitty-gritty of the book.

Way to go Rowling, can’t believe that there wouldn’t be any more Potter books to look forward to…
P.S: This piece has been on my mind for sometime now but could manage to post it today itself.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Happy Me.. . :)

Am done for the day and thinking about what I've achieved today, I would say: zilch, nothing!! And yet, surprisingly, I had a good day...

- My boss is out of town so there is nobody to stand on my head 24/7.

- My classmate has joined my office, although a different department, so there is at least someone to go out for lunch with.

- Discovered that I had about 1000 bucks in my account. It took me out of my condition of bankruptcy (as predicted earlier, thanks Tommy!! :P) and now I wouldn’t have to use my dad's card (he wouldn’t mind though)... Yippee!! ;)

- Came across the availability of the DVDs of this 80's show called "Wonder Years". Have been looking for it since ages, a must buy.

- Got another 1500 bucks as my office took pity on my current condition and reimbursed my long stuck phone bill. (Shit, am obsessed with money, guess I've never been in this condition before, hence a lil tough, will get used to it if I keep up my rate of shopping and refusing to take dad's help!!)

- My footwear samples are due tomorrow (after a lot of bickering with the vendor): am keeping my fingers crossed though!!

This brings an end to a day well gone and now am ready for some good food and my drive back home... Cheers!!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Its all YELLOW!! ;)

My last visit to Kolkata sucked... I mean, the day I landed, I came down with high temperature and working in those humid conditions was an ordeal in itself.

However, on my way to the city from the airport, I noticed that Kolkata had a colour to it: YELLOW!! Yeh right, every 2 minutes you would encounter that brightest of hues: the cabs, billboards, buildings, buses, clothes, plastic on construction sites, even the food had this extra bit of turmeric!!

Though I couldn't click all that I would have liked to, here are a few pieces of that YELLOW evidence I spotted there...

Friday, July 20, 2007

Shadow Billboard..

Just came across this brilliant billboard by World Wildlife Federation on one of the sites I was browsing through. It demonstrates the rise of water by an extremely effective use of shadows... 'twas so cool that couldn't help but put it on my blog..

Thursday, July 19, 2007

I wish...

At times I wish I weren't this practical and paid a lil more attention to what my heart said...

Monday, July 09, 2007

Freedom to be!!

Life seems so simple and complicated all at once... On one hand I know what I want but I am not sure how badly I want it. There are times when I've had a very bad day, I want to quit everything (I do have that option!!), go home, get married, have about a hundred kids, spend my husband's money and die catering to their needs, with no essence of my individuality stamped anywhere...

And then this whole idea revolts me. I am a little too selfish not to think about myself, a little too ambitious to die without achieveing anything, too individualistic to go along with someone else's beliefs and too proud to survive not on my own money!! So I choose freedom, freedom to be myself, to live life on my own terms, to enjoy it, to have no regrets when its time to say tata... Thus my stuggle continues, the fight with all the horrible days of my life and see them through, all for my FREEDOM!!

Friday, July 06, 2007

Damn temptations!! ;)

Month beginning, higher salary than the previous job and am already bankrupt!! Got tempted and bought a Tommy watch for myself and throughout the month I am going to stare at it and wait for the time to pass, the month to end... All for an expensive temptation!!
Or should I ask Dad for money...NAH!! :p

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Given Up!!

Life teaches us lessons every now and then, when we least expect it to, when we think that our past is behind us and we are ready to move on…

Most of the times in my life, I’ve pretended to be a very strong person, not bothered by certain circumstances when in reality, all along I’ve been feeling like crap… I haven’t discussed these problems with anyone, believing that I did not need any form of sympathy, that my problems were but mine and mostly because they were a too private part of my being and sharing them would be unfair… However, I didn’t realize that because of this I had alienated myself, separated me from the rest… I had begun to avoid people fearing that the temptation of trusting someone would get to me…

However, after almost an year of trying to be strong, trying to make people believe that I am the cool headed one, trying to laugh at my problems, I give up!!

Now I admit that it hurts when something you’ve wanted most in life doesn’t work out, when the life you’ve imagined for yourself ceases to exist and the worst when you regret being strong only to realize that your not sharing the troubles has distanced yourself from your friends… and you find yourself all alone!!

Sunday, April 29, 2007


Past two days have been hell for me, reason being: MY CELL PHONE IS NOT WORKING!! I mean these two days made me realize how addictive I was to technology. Yesterday my condition was like: my phone wasn’t working, my laptop had no charge and icing on the cake, there was no electricity, I couldn’t even read and so I resigned myself to the fate and I thought!! I thought about my desperation to be connected to the world somehow, I thought of the days when I didn’t possess any of these and it made no difference to my life, I thought about the previous hours I had spent running around the place to get my cell back in shape (without success obviously), I thought about how I had my parents all frantic thinking that they had not paid my bill and hence the disconnection (yes, my parents still pay my phone bills inspite of the fact that I am earning now and can very well afford to pay them, that’s my dad’s way of keeping a check on my life, smart move I must say!!) only to realize that it was not the case at all, there is a problem with the instrument…

From the above I just concluded that no matter how hard I try to console myself that I can stay without these amenities, I know that I cannot and probably never will: AM ADDICTED!!

Sunday, April 01, 2007


About two months back, after almost a year of being home for a very long time, I moved back to a new job, new life… Things weren’t going good for me the past year and as I’ve previously mentioned, I was virtually desperate for some sort of “decorum” in my life, and after moving out, I got it.

Now I design footwear, something which I love to do. The work is pretty tedious and by the end of the day when I get back from office, I am completely deflated, have my dinner, chit-chat a bit with my flat mates and then with my friends on the phone and dose off. My parents have been awesome and even got me a car when I told them how difficult commuting was and hence things are pretty smooth for me. I go for movies, shop, go for late night drives, earn decently, have a great family, awesome friends and yet there’s this emptiness to life, something missing in this almost perfect life of mine.

There’s something that keeps nagging me, some kind of insecurity that’s gone to my head and I constantly fear losing the people I love…

I have no clue why am putting it on the blog, why I am sharing my fears with people I don’t know yet there’s some sort of pleasure unburdening myself here,on this blog and that’s the best justification I can give of putting this stuff here which would rather be in my diary…

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Reading helps.

As you must have already guessed by now, I am highly influenced by what I read. The following is another such example which has proved to be quite true for me... It goes like:

God sends us the right people, exactly when we need them. At times they fulfill that momentary need and go away and at other times, they linger on and make our lives better...

Ever wondered why we end up finding that one person who can cheer us up at the gloomiest of times??

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Whats smelling??

Strange as it may sound, smells leave a lasting impact on my mind and I often end up associating people and places with them. At times these fragrances are used by me or the people around but a lot of times I tend to pick them up at the most random places like the coffee shop I visit often or like that smell of green apple that just grew on me.

Basically, smells leave an enthralling effect on me and I couldn’t resist from writing about something that intrigues and fascinates my senses as they do… So here’s a short list of them that I could recollect, mostly the ones that I am conscious of…
- Fresh paint.
- Green apple candle
- Clean hands
- Infants, just after they’ve had a bath.
- Roses
- Coffee
- That tangy smell of the aftershave my dad wears.
- Soil, post rains.
- Clothes washed and dried.
- Baby Johnson’s powder
- Chocolate.
- Orange peel
- Gucci/ Lacoste

An addition of any other smells you like is welcome. Probably they would be ones I myself like but am unaware of or some new ones I’ve never kown… so feel free and add on…

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

All that I want…

Here’s a list of qualities I want in a guy, I know its not possible and I also know for a fact that even if such a guy exists, I just might not be attracted to him but nonetheless, here’s my list…
This one should be:
- Honest
- Crazy
- Sensible
- Handsome
- Intelligent
- Flirt with me.
- Protective
- Should buy me flowers… and chocolates once in a while, without any reason.
- Should call me thin even when am bloating, and “yet” be honest!!
- He has to make me laugh… a lot.
- Believe in a bit of charity.
- Let me be stupid…
- A person I can talk to for hours…
- Must have nice hands.
- He has to smell good.
- Patient, after all he’s with me!!
- Intuitive.
- Interesting
- Witty
- Funny
- Must dance well and be able to make me dance… a bit to his own tunes as well… ;)
- Give me space and yet care.
- Love to travel.
- Enjoy art.
- Respect my dreams and ambitions.
- Respect my work.
- Take me to a very expensive restaurant for candle light dinner, just once a year.
- Pamper me for no reason.
- Love to talk, and talk ... and talk more, and then listen too.
- Let me shop.
- Help me shop!!
- Have an opinion.
- Respect my independence.
- Take me to a proper date, with flowers and works!!
- Take me to Opera, once in my lifetime.
- Fun
- Surprise me.
- Must be clean.
- NEVER take me for granted.

I wonder if someone like the above exists but whats the harm in dreaming!!;)