Addicted...

Past two days have been hell for me, reason being: MY CELL PHONE IS NOT WORKING!! I mean these two days made me realize how addictive I was to technology. Yesterday my condition was like: my phone wasn’t working, my laptop had no charge and icing on the cake, there was no electricity, I couldn’t even read and so I resigned myself to the fate and I thought!! I thought about my desperation to be connected to the world somehow, I thought of the days when I didn’t possess any of these and it made no difference to my life, I thought about the previous hours I had spent running around the place to get my cell back in shape (without success obviously), I thought about how I had my parents all frantic thinking that they had not paid my bill and hence the disconnection (yes, my parents still pay my phone bills inspite of the fact that I am earning now and can very well afford to pay them, that’s my dad’s way of keeping a check on my life, smart move I must say!!) only to realize that it was not the case at all, there is a problem with the instrument…

From the above I just concluded that no matter how hard I try to console myself that I can stay without these amenities, I know that I cannot and probably never will: AM ADDICTED!!

Untitled.

About two months back, after almost a year of being home for a very long time, I moved back to a new job, new life… Things weren’t going good for me the past year and as I’ve previously mentioned, I was virtually desperate for some sort of “decorum” in my life, and after moving out, I got it.

Now I design footwear, something which I love to do. The work is pretty tedious and by the end of the day when I get back from office, I am completely deflated, have my dinner, chit-chat a bit with my flat mates and then with my friends on the phone and dose off. My parents have been awesome and even got me a car when I told them how difficult commuting was and hence things are pretty smooth for me. I go for movies, shop, go for late night drives, earn decently, have a great family, awesome friends and yet there’s this emptiness to life, something missing in this almost perfect life of mine.

There’s something that keeps nagging me, some kind of insecurity that’s gone to my head and I constantly fear losing the people I love…

I have no clue why am putting it on the blog, why I am sharing my fears with people I don’t know yet there’s some sort of pleasure unburdening myself here,on this blog and that’s the best justification I can give of putting this stuff here which would rather be in my diary…