I sometimes wonder how she knows me so well, its T I am
talking about. Whenever we have our conversations about “life”, she says such
things that stick to me, and no matter how I disagree with them at that point
in time, eventually I realize how right she was.
Before I got married, she kept telling me how wonderful a
life I was living- a place to myself, all the freedom, work that I loved and
enough money, what more could I ask for. I kept telling her that she didn’t realize
that how it was a struggle sometimes to live alone, how at times I wouldn’t speak
for hours, and all the stupid stuff I could think of. And though I hate to
admit it, she was right about the life I was living was that people only dreamt
of.
Another conversation of ours was regarding a friend who
lived out of a suitcase. She lived a nomadic life and to buy something new, she
had to throw something old out of her case. I was completely fascinated by it
and wanted to live a similar life, travel, have no roots, just like the movies.
When we were discussing it, she said that “we-her and I”, weren’t capable of
such lives. We were people with roots, we liked familiarity was too much-
coming back to a home and not a hotel room, being around familiar faces and not
trying to make new friends all the time, talking and meeting our parents and
sibling very often, that’s what made us. Again, stupid of me to disagree but
one move to another city and a month in the hotel room made me change my mind.
To say that she’s my alter ego wouldn’t be an overstatement.
I’ve come to realize how important “validation” for us in anything we do,
thanks to her. When I decided to get married to S, I was super scared. Although
we were friends but he was not the kind of man I’d sought for myself, rather
opposite. Destiny intervened and things happened. As usual, I went to her with
my woes and this is what she said (she’d of course met him by then)- “Sam, some things are decided by God himself,
what happened to you was just that. Since you didn’t know what’s good for you,
he intervened and took the call for you and that’s the best way it should be
done. Knowing you and how you’ve lived your life, how you don’t like answering
people and that freedom you need, you couldn’t have settled for a typical
family like we have.” This not only gave me the much needed confidence at
the point of time, but now I realize how she knows me better than myself.
I can go on about this sister of mine, how some of the best
advices have come from her, how she puts into words exactly what I am thinking,
but let’s just end it like that- she knows me better than I know myself..
