Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Signs of “growing up”..

This is not pessimism that is making me write below, just pure observation and thought..

- You don’t feel like going to the boisterous favourite club of yours; rather prefer a quiet place with a few close friends.
- Your circle of friends minimizes to a dot (well, mostly).
- There are tons of people online and none of them interests you to begin a chat with.
- Most of the holidays are spent going home rather than a vacation.
- The invites you receive are mostly from married people celebrating their anniversaries or their kid’s birthdays.
- You need a reason to laugh.
- You begin to understand the deal about solitary walks or alone time having coffee.
- When all younger people seem silly to you.
- When you want to dress up to feel young.
- The shop that begins to interest you more is Marks and Spencer’s instead of Punk.
- When you begin to turn around looking for the source of that loud laughter instead of minding your own business.
- You begin to feel less or no guilt about the things that would have killed you earlier.
- And when you begin to look back at school or college and get nostalgic about the days..

And since this happens to be the last post of the year, I couldn't be signing off without a BIG Happy New Year to everybody. May this year see all your wishes coming true- good, bad and the ugly ones too, till then..

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

In the name of equality..

I often read stuff on women equality and the likes and witness every other day how it is snatched/ hampered and how women are the only ones (usually) who make sacrifices.

I have been brought up in a family where women dominate the scene. My mother, though a housewife is one of the strongest lady I have come across and she has brought us in a very similar fashion, hugely contributing to my personality. We have been allowed to pursue the careers we have wanted, make our own decisions but never spoilt. My father told us early on never to expect any support from him where our education was concerned, no donations/ no recommendations. Also, because he was always travelling when we were young and limited means at our disposal, we had to do pretty much everything on our own. My mother did have to turn a deaf ear to the family when we went out to parties and had male friends but she was adamant to give us the maximum exposure possible and never feel threatened by the male specie. And because of the trust they invested in us, we have always known our boundaries and where to limit ourselves.

I happen to be extremely proud of the upbringing that I have had. We learnt to value things early on, from money to family ties and mostly getting our priorities in order. Now, I do live independently, I am single and my biggest fear is getting married to the wrong guy. I understand that “wrong” is relative, and people might call me demanding and choosy but a decision this big is something I am not willing to take because of sheer pressure. When I think of what I want in a person, I seriously don’t think I am over demanding. I just want a person who has a similar value system, in a family where women are giving their due respect and importance and their opinions considered while taking the larger decisions. A person who understands my ambitions and aspirations in life and acknowledges me as a person in my own right and lastly who respects my parents and family like he wants me to treat his. Unfortunately, with me comes a set of paradoxes and that gets tricky. I happen to have a traditionalist in me, who is ambitious but ultimately wants to be looked after, for whom family is of utmost importance and love and understanding form the focal point in life.

Now let’s see with all that I want, where I ultimately end up, rather begin at..

Friday, December 16, 2011

To have observed and felt..

Since past one week I have been commuting to work on cycle rickshaws and autos, if I am lucky. It is so cold that when the wind lashes on my face, I can feel water on my cheeks, my nose going red and the chill seeping despite all the warm clothing on me. It worsens when my feet get cold (I cannot wear socks ever, so no shoes too) and then a numbness penetrates and surprisingly it is a welcome feeling. Contradictory to it, all my senses get sharpened, especially my vision and hearing abilities and I begin to notice colours and sounds like never before.

Last evening, it was the peak of rush hour and while I sat on the rickshaw, I could hear people talking, a variety of horns beeping and vehicles screeching on the road. And strangely enough, there was a synchrony in this noise. There seemed to be a pattern, a sort of music you could hear without even concentrating. The orchestra was magical and it reminded me of the movie August Rush, horns..beep..horn horn.. abusive.. beep, horn, a cacophony of sounds, just awesome.

And how can I even begin to describe the sight. Yellow, green, silver, red and blues, all standing against the dark background of the black canvas that has gone misty. And the canvas had a spotlight too; the bright moon shone and made things vibrant yet mysterious, added an element of surprise merged with seductiveness of the night. It was breathtaking and for once I wished I could paint or take a picture that captured what I was witnessing right then.

I have always been a city person, preferring the noise, the dust and the traffic to calmness and serenity, the warmth of people you don’t even know to the isolation and cold of loneliness. It is often I have tried explaining my view point to people and have failed miserably. They don’t seem to understand what’s there not to like in peace and quiet, nature and beauty and I tell them that I can find all the peace I need inside my house, all the alone factor in the sanctuary of my room and it is this magical city that enthralls me..

P.S: Strangely enough, I have begun to write everything as a third person and then later have to change all the you’s to my’s.

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Lines that have lasted..

They have stuck by me since I've read them. High time I posted these to save them forever.

“Nothing was in time. People just blindly grabbed at whatever there was: communism, health foods, zen, surfing, ballet, hypnotism, group encounters, orgies, biking, herbs, Catholism, weight- lifting, travel, withdrawal, vegetarianism, India, painting, writing, sculpting, composing, conducting, backpacking, yoga, copulating, gambling, drinking, hanging around, frozen yogurt, Beethoven, Bach, Buddha, Christ, TM, H, carrot juice, suicide, handmade suits, jet travel, New York City, and then it all evaporated and fell apart. People had to find things to do while waiting to die. I guess it was nice to have a choice.” Charles Bukowski, Women.

AND (with no relation whatsoever)

It’s true: Everyone needs a reason to stay alive- someone who justifies your existence. Someone who loves you. Not beyond all reason. Just loves you. Even just shows an interest. Even someone who does not exist, or isn’t yours. No, no! They don’t even have to love you! They just have to be there to love! Target for your arrows. Magnetic pole to drag on your compass needle and stop it spinning and tell you where you’re heading and ... Someone to soak up all the yearning. Geraldine McCaughrean, The White Darkness.

And their impact on me never alters..