Thank you..

At 40, life hits different. You begin to reminisce about the past; the choices that you made don’t seem that bad anymore- rather sweet. The people from your past have that soft glow to them and you begin to remember the little things. The bitterness has all gone and mostly, you would love to re-connect with them, laugh about how silly and fun you were and glad that life took its course when it did.

Yesterday, I was super late from work, the stress was sky rocketing and being a mother with the partner in a different city was taking a toll, this song from Saathiya popped up on one of the radio stations and I couldn’t help but smile. I couldn’t help but remember that nickname I was called by, that winking at me suddenly while he was talking to my dad that made me go crimson, those chocolate wrappers and little Love is.. cut outs that I still have, the bike rides in chilly evenings without appropriate winter wear, so much I fail to remember now, but when it does come to me, always and always leaves me smiling.

He was my firsts in mostly everything, the first time I held hands with a boy, my first confession of love, my first kiss, the first time I lied to my parents to meet him, in romance, and all the frills that come with it- probably my only one, because I didn't find or date men like him after that, and became closed and cynical and bitter and sad and not the person I was with him. There was so much pain that I could barely breathe and too much ego that helped in self-preservation, but if after all these years I have to be brutally honest- I wouldn’t trade that time for the world!

Maybe it’s the age, more maturity and more sense, but I’ve realized how beautiful it was. 

And for that- thank you!