Wednesday, July 02, 2008

At the risk of sounding rude..

It is said that when it rains, it pours.. July-December is the busiest time of the year for me. A time when I am loaded with work; high work pressure and long hours lead to some mistakes which further trickles down to a lot of shouting and screaming, the result an extremely pathetic day.

You call home to find some solace but amidst all the marriage festivity everyone is distracted, making you miss home all the more. One by one the phone is circulated between all the aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, they laughing, singing, dancing and mocking you for not being there. The sarcasm is evident when they say “tum to bas naukri karo” (you just do your job), without realizing that this is the last thing you want to do, when all you want is to run home. The choice you’ve made is for a reason, for the sake of your independence, freedom and not for money (as mentioned a few times by some relatives).

Everybody knows that money is an important but not the only factor I work for.. What they don’t understand is that I care for what I do, that I hold responsibility for my actions, or even for the lack of it. So though I miss home terribly, the fact remains that I can’t quit everything, a fact that sooner my family accepts, the better it would be for all of us.


Shruti said...

awww.. calm down sweetie.. people have a habit of pulling others' legs. I know its irritating, esp. when you're all tired out. But is it that difficult for the family to understand? :(

J said...

Relatives.. they know just the rightfully wrong buttons to push :)

Sangfroid said...

Hey Busy Bee ... chillax!

Most of what relatives say goes in thru one ear and out of the other :-P there are exceptions though! Don't be mindful and continue what you feel is right :-)

btw, here a related(temme if it was) anecdote:-

One day the great Greek philosopher Socrates came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Three?", exclaimed the student.

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"Oh no," the man said, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates interrupted, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"Well, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

~ ॐ ~ said...

At the risk of sounding rude :

why is it that we only want our parents, our family, our loved ones to understand how important work is?

and never make work understand how important family is?

why is the "can't" comes only with work? Are we saying that quitting families, and relationships is now easier than quitting work?

Kenny said...

Relatives have this irksome knack of making comments or queries without giving it a don't let it bother u...I know easier said than done but still..
As long as u know u're making the right choices...stick to them!! :)

whyte_nyte said...

heyy..just stumbled upon ur blog..totaly understand about the freedom vs money bit..have had similar experiences..but chill..u dont have to justify ur decision to ur relatives..just enjoy life

Anonymous said...

U r such a "karmaveer ladki"

rantravereflect/ jane said...

relatives man!!! i can't bear themm.. i have never had worse enemies!

i dun know how ya deal wyd it- but i retaliate..
one lady said i had put on too much weight, n no 1 wud marry me..
i jus told her tat if her husband could marry a rolling potato, i'm sure i'd find one ;)

keep teh smil!!
fuk 'em all n smile :)

geet said...

your line "for the sake of your independence, freedom and not for money " has said it all. i need not read the rest :D. bravo!!!

Sam said...

Shruti, I know what you mean but I've tried my best to make them understand.. :)

J, Precisely!! :D

Sangfroid, :D Nice story you narrated here but sorry for sounding dumb, you'll have to explain the context too!! :( And I know at times you gotta listen with one ear and let it pass through the other but for how long??

Om, You got me thinking and am at times too tempted to quit but then what?? Whose life would stop for me when I make mine stop: questions likes these prevent me from giving in..

Kenny, Am doing just that!! :)

Whyte, Yeh, doing that too.. :)

Anon, :P

Rant, They aren't just relatives, they are people I care about and hence can't be ignored beyond a certain extent..

Geet, :D thanks!!

~ ॐ ~ said...

quitting with not help either dearo...

my point is... you are you... and nothing can take away that from you !!!

The loved ones are loved ones... don't take that away from them either...

you will find that fine balance... God Bless...

Sangfroid said...

Context bole to ... most of what falls on our ears is crap :-P

i don't have the answer to 'how long' :-(

wacko said...

hey there, long time!

we all know how tis when it comes to parents and relatives thinkin bout our lives. wht i feel is that they dont really get into the groove that we want them to be in..maybe, they just say for the sake of the end of the day, you have to neglect it all together and get cant just change their thoughts and make them think the way you want them to think...

tc (i really dunno wht i meant. i just hope you get the drift :))

Sam said...

Om, What you tell me does make sense but finding that balance is the difficult part, hopefully I'll be there soon.. :)

Sangfroid, Ohh..yeh it sure is, thanks for explaining me the obvious that I couldn't understand.. and now i feel dumb!! :(

Wacko, Hey, long time indeed.. I did get the drift, thanks!! :D

Solitaire said...

Bhagwaan has given us two ears for.......

You know what I am getting at right?

Ek kaan se suno...doosre se nikalo!

BTW, Psychobabble is up and running AGAIN! :)

ani said...

sam sammy sam! chill chilli chill!!! and big big big super jumbo hug!!

Ur stand is admirable.. (were we sisters in a last life?!) and i jus sufferred the same... I dint go to a cuzn bro's wedding to be able to keep my peace and avoid the 'tumhare liya ye ladka dhoondha hai' scenarios! but I DID GO to a bestest friends wedding (where there were no relatives!)!!

The stand u have taken is something that the 'elders' of a family will not understand really as the social fabric is so well knit into their system.. Girls... educate them and let them work so that they can get a good groom.. and off late the extension is that ok let her work to keep her occupied while the 'pati dev' is also in office. So it's tuff to get this throgh to them.. that u studied.. u maybe even took an education loan.. u have a very proud father who looks on with tears in his eyes (of joy) as you progress! You are his man friday and pride and joy and lil prncess all rolled into one! You want to leave ur mark upon this world.. u want to achieve...! kudos to that babes! (continue to hold ur head up high... 'they' will see when the time is right...) :)

Sam said...

Solitaire, :D, I totally understand!!

Ani, Its not the wedding am talking about, ofcourse I did go for it, it was was closest sister's but they wanted me to prolong my stay that I didn't.. I know the pressure can be immense but at times, I realised keeping quiet and doing your own thing is the key!! :)