Monday, March 15, 2010

Remembrance..

Its been a while now since this happened. It personally did not effect me much because I’ve been living out of home for years now and the bitterness in family ties and all that my parents had to face made me cold towards it all.

My Taiji passed away a month ago and living together as a family for 37 years had its pros and cons. There was a struggle to cope up and adjust with each other, the strains of it visible in the later years when families grew larger, expectations higher and hearts greedier.

I went to the hospital where she had been admitted in Delhi and the scene shook me. I couldn’t meet Tai, she was in a critical state by then, the surgery having failed but the sight of my Tauji, his helplessness, his anxiety was beyond explanation. It was their 50th anniversary that day and sharing that period of your life with someone is something I can just imagine. My heart went out to him and I cried my way back home, I knew in my heart that this was it and begged God to prove my instincts wrong.

Going back home made me miss little things about her, my eyes searched for her on the balcony as soon as I reached. She used to stand their for hours trying to keep an eye on whose going where, a habit that irritated me then but which I now find endearing. He voice that echoed in the house calling for servants and giving instructions.. But most of all I remember how she loved me when I was little, my Mom tells me it was only her who could soothe me when I was ill and how she always saved my from my Dad when he was angry.

I realize that family bonds are hard to break, things may get bitter, life difficult but the warmth remains..

3 comments:

ani said...

~ super jumbo hugs... ~

by the way... i plan to be in your city thereabouts the month end.

Sangfroid said...

Don't know what to say.

You are right!

Amrita said...

omg. i'm so sorry for your loss.
i can imagine how her absence will change your life. :(