Slow and steady, hopefully..

The self analysis mode is still on and I realised that I am a late bloomer. My reasons would be:

- I understand/ feel things much later than people around me have. And because of this I am perceived as slow,not something that I can contradict.
- I do love clothes and shoes and bags, the whole works. Despite of this, I keep using that bag till it gets beyond repair, wear one watch till it breaks down.
- Fashion. Though I would love to try the latest and new and am even aware of it, I wear that newness when it is in the crutches, swaggering finally before it dies a slow death.
- Even if I buy something new and upbeat, I stock it up in my wardrobe, get used to looking at it and think about how I can possibly pull it off before I wearing it to someplace. This is the reason I stick to classics and black.

Damn guts..

Emotional rollercoaster..

It is time that she withdrew, if only to keep the integrity intact.. And then she oscillates between the facts:
- if she has the strength
- knowing that she does
- if she is doing it to get that momentary attention, and being sure that it’s not worth it.
- or if it is not worth bothering and letting things be as they are.

So much drama, and all out of sheer boredom..

Inevitable..

I think after a while you start letting go. You begin to show the world what you are actually made up of instead of shying away from it like you have all your life. You begin to accept more of yourself and learn to live with it. And the best part is that it does not scare you. You reconcile with the fact that this is how you are and this is how the people will have to accept you, like it or not. Maybe you even get adamant to an extent of being so true that the urge of being liked as you are is overwhelming and you possibly couldn’t settle for anything less.

And I believe that happens because you are not scared of being hurt anymore, not worried about people judging you or bothering with what they think of you. You have already been injured so many times, looked down upon, bickered and bitched about that you have just stopped caring.

Although it sets you free but there’s a price to pay. You get cynical and cold and I guess that is what they mean by growing up..