Wednesday, January 11, 2012

All in little time..

I seriously can't afford to take this kind of time out of work right now but the urge is too huge to ignore, so here I go.

I am feeling weird right now. I mean it's kind of sadist of me to feel happy about (what I am assuming)how it ended. I may even call it sickening but I just do not feel any guilt. It's difficult to explain but I'll try. I know what I am feeling is horrible, pathetic and disgusting and I am trying to feel bad about it, only because I am supposed to. In reality, I feel smug, even arrogant and strangely satisfied. On the hindsight, the very same,or even worst can happen to me. It's so confusing to oscillate between feeling happy/guilty and scared, all at once.

Another thing that I need to vent out: why can't people from my past just let my family and me be. They should just ignore that we exist and if somebody asks of us, simply say that they do not know us; I am sure my family would do the same. I think all relationships have a certain amount or sanctity and by talking ill of them, you just destroy even the nicer bits.

That's all I got time for today..


Sangfroid said...

I am confused :)

Hoping all is well!

Sam said...

Sangfroid, I was too.. ;) But I guess it was a general outburst, nothing to worry about..