Wednesday, May 02, 2012

A little more about myself..

I have always assumed myself to be a sorted person, the way I react to things, the little shrewdness that I presume I have. I have thought myself to be the right blend, of emotions, family values and professionalism. I have been brutally honest and thought it has worked for me at places and always supposed that people, my family have a certain amount of respect for me and maybe, just maybe been proud of me at times.

Whenever I’ve been around my family or friends, I’ve thought that what I say has matterered to them in some way; that I am unbiased and very subjective about people, even my relatives.

Apparently, I’ve been wrong. The mirage was broken by someone when she said that I react to situations very impulsively, that my opinions about people vary based on the situation and somewhere (though I hate to admit as much), it is true. It’s like reality has hit you on your face and knowing that it is true, you just have to accept it.

The issue is that I don’t like this about myself and I will have to change but then don’t know how. I no more trust my reactions to situations around me. I definitely don’t want to involve myself in the family politics, I refuse to be a part of it but I can’t see how not.

Balance is the key maybe, or silence and I chose to go for the latter, not matter how tough that might be or whether I may possibly be perceived in the wrong light.

Just need to stop reacting..

3 comments:

Shreya said...

Heyi Ashutosh! :) Please please help me out with this coz I believe that only a NIFTian can help me out. I gave the situation test this April and am waiting for the results now. I have really high hopes that I'd get selected at NIFT. The thing is that am a medical student and I gave up medicine to do fashion design as it is what I actually want to pursue. But coz of the reason above, I've near to nil idea of sketching, pattern making and sewing. And these are the foundations itself. Although I'll be taught all this at NIFT but I want to do some homework myself. Sope, in these two months, what should I do so that it contributes to my performance? Please do reply. It'll be a life saver.

Shreya said...

And heyi, so sorry about the name. I'm near to extreme insanity. :/ Please ignore that.

Upecmustang said...

"I react to situations very impulsively, that my opinions about people vary based on the situation and somewhere (though I hate to admit as much), it is true. It’s like reality has hit you on your face and knowing that it is true, you just have to accept it."


EGG-JACTLY....

Makes you think you have no idea what you want from people or don't want from them, no idea of what you believe in. And the confusion gnaws at you all the time...pisses the hell outta you, dunnit?