I have always assumed myself to be a sorted person, the way I react to things, the little shrewdness that I presume I have. I have thought myself to be the right blend, of emotions, family values and professionalism. I have been brutally honest and thought it has worked for me at places and always supposed that people, my family have a certain amount of respect for me and maybe, just maybe been proud of me at times.
Whenever I’ve been around my family or friends, I’ve thought that what I say has matterered to them in some way; that I am unbiased and very subjective about people, even my relatives.
Apparently, I’ve been wrong. The mirage was broken by someone when she said that I react to situations very impulsively, that my opinions about people vary based on the situation and somewhere (though I hate to admit as much), it is true. It’s like reality has hit you on your face and knowing that it is true, you just have to accept it.
The issue is that I don’t like this about myself and I will have to change but then don’t know how. I no more trust my reactions to situations around me. I definitely don’t want to involve myself in the family politics, I refuse to be a part of it but I can’t see how not.
Balance is the key maybe, or silence and I chose to go for the latter, not matter how tough that might be or whether I may possibly be perceived in the wrong light.
Just need to stop reacting..
Whenever I’ve been around my family or friends, I’ve thought that what I say has matterered to them in some way; that I am unbiased and very subjective about people, even my relatives.
Apparently, I’ve been wrong. The mirage was broken by someone when she said that I react to situations very impulsively, that my opinions about people vary based on the situation and somewhere (though I hate to admit as much), it is true. It’s like reality has hit you on your face and knowing that it is true, you just have to accept it.
The issue is that I don’t like this about myself and I will have to change but then don’t know how. I no more trust my reactions to situations around me. I definitely don’t want to involve myself in the family politics, I refuse to be a part of it but I can’t see how not.
Balance is the key maybe, or silence and I chose to go for the latter, not matter how tough that might be or whether I may possibly be perceived in the wrong light.
Just need to stop reacting..
1 comment:
"I react to situations very impulsively, that my opinions about people vary based on the situation and somewhere (though I hate to admit as much), it is true. It’s like reality has hit you on your face and knowing that it is true, you just have to accept it."
EGG-JACTLY....
Makes you think you have no idea what you want from people or don't want from them, no idea of what you believe in. And the confusion gnaws at you all the time...pisses the hell outta you, dunnit?
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