I read some spaces with a hint of envy in me. And though it may sound lame, the reason is that while they can be upfront and so vocal about how they feel and what’s happening in their lives, I have to beat about the bush or better still, not write about it at all. Reason being, I happen to know certain people who read my space with whom I would rather not share what’s happening in my life.
I may also be asked why I cannot put those very thoughts that I fear sharing so much in my journal to which I would say that I do, but there is something about here that pushes me to put thoughts into words that I cannot anywhere else and more importantly, my ego takes over and I get this bug saying that it is MY space after all, last minute and I back off. Then again, this is a blog, a forum where people will read what you write and you have that option to password protect it but I don’t do any of that. It’s like contradicting my every action/ statement.
On an altogether different note, I can no more stand that double standards of it all at my workplace anymore. It’s like you take one step forward and you are pulled back two steps back. No matter how much I love what I do, the unfairness of it all is creeping in and I am at the end of my tolerance limit, one nudge and I might crumble, but not without a fight..
I may also be asked why I cannot put those very thoughts that I fear sharing so much in my journal to which I would say that I do, but there is something about here that pushes me to put thoughts into words that I cannot anywhere else and more importantly, my ego takes over and I get this bug saying that it is MY space after all, last minute and I back off. Then again, this is a blog, a forum where people will read what you write and you have that option to password protect it but I don’t do any of that. It’s like contradicting my every action/ statement.
On an altogether different note, I can no more stand that double standards of it all at my workplace anymore. It’s like you take one step forward and you are pulled back two steps back. No matter how much I love what I do, the unfairness of it all is creeping in and I am at the end of my tolerance limit, one nudge and I might crumble, but not without a fight..
5 comments:
If that is what is holding you back, why not a new url? Or better still, a custom domain( to justify the pain of having to move somewhere else)
Anyways, it is your space, and only should decide what goes up here. I keep coming, for I admire the person behind Hither-Tither, for what she is.And nothing should stop you from being that girl.
Love and Luck
Akanksha
When compared to my space, there is lot that you share here!!!
Regarding the work-front - fight it out, I say :)
Akanksha, Not sure if it makes sense but I am too lazy to do much about things I don't like, just crib!! Too used to this place to move somewhere else.. ;)
Sangfroid, You've always been you and me always the way I am.. ;)
And I am fighting it out.
similar dilemma here! But then I assume everyone is oo busy to read me, or will do me the favor of not taking me seriously, or do love me enough to pretend they dont mind whats written, or I feel some of them do have the right to know me deeply as I expose myself in my blog. Basically I just find some excuse and write what I want to....but at times I cannot....especially the deepest pains and fears, or very few emotions that I would not share with anyone in this world!
With your blog, I somehow feel you say a lot with limited words :)
Melee, Exactly!! I just can't bring myself to share what I truly feel. That and then knowing somebody is judging you all the time.. So I write but evasively..
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