I am coming here after ages and a lot has changed in between. It has been a time with such mixed feelings that have left me totally overwhelmed and slightly breathless. I have been oscillating between feeling extreme happiness to anxiety attacks that have left me all teary many mornings.
There have been times when I have doubted my decision, wished back for my singular status, thought about the maybes, thought about my life had a waited a little longer, about what would I be feeling had it been with anyone else. I then go back to thinking what I have, how I can be myself, how I am loved and appreciated, how my parents and family feel and more importantly the actual contentment and solidity that I have always wanted and everything seems perfect.
Knowing myself, I know I will be fickle and difficult, that I will worry for every little thing, that it might take ages for me to trust and start giving back but the larger picture seems beautiful and the my inner voice, the one that I always listen to says it will be a fun ride.
So let the circus begin..
There have been times when I have doubted my decision, wished back for my singular status, thought about the maybes, thought about my life had a waited a little longer, about what would I be feeling had it been with anyone else. I then go back to thinking what I have, how I can be myself, how I am loved and appreciated, how my parents and family feel and more importantly the actual contentment and solidity that I have always wanted and everything seems perfect.
Knowing myself, I know I will be fickle and difficult, that I will worry for every little thing, that it might take ages for me to trust and start giving back but the larger picture seems beautiful and the my inner voice, the one that I always listen to says it will be a fun ride.
So let the circus begin..
4 comments:
:) i am so happy for you!
the beginning of all things are tough, doubts are always there and so is a strange urge to escape somewhere. But I am sure you will have a good journey, this one, and more importantly so much so that you may even stop caring where you are headed to. I wish all the happiness and joy for you.
Melle, :) Thank you so much!! I am hoping that too, hoping with all my heart..
Kab? Kaise? Kahan?
Congratulations!!! :)
Hahha.. Thanks!! I'll tell you the details via some other mode of communication..
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