I no more know how to cope without him. And I never, ever thought that I will be in such a state.
It’s been tough times for us lately with S’s job issues. So today, after a lot of drama and lack of opportunities here, he moved to Bombay. I stayed back and now I don’t know what to do with myself. He’s been the center of my world since we got married and his moving out made me realise somethings about myself:
- -I have never been so dependent on anyone
- -I no more need “space”
- -I don’t know how to sleep in that big bed, all by myself
- -I am cold throughout the night and need to use double blankets
- -It seems all the laughter and joy has vanished from my life
- -I can trade a lot with God, provided he comes back
- -I’ve quit smoking, something I really loved to do
- -I’ve realized that I write here only and only for myself
My entire schedule has gone hay wire:
- -I woke up and snuggled in for a five minute nap, no more.
- -While I took eons to get ready, he made the bed, watered the plants- I do it
- -He took ages to eat breakfast and I fought with him for getting late- it doesn’t
even matter anymore
- -I HAD to text him once I reached office, he can’t do much about my safety now
- -Fought him if he took the car- I have it all to myself and now I don’t know
what was the big deal
- -We checked with each other after lunch, and I miss it now
- -The evenings that were the best part of my life as I got to see him, are the
- -He’d wait for me with an open door when he heard the car being parked and
we raced home..
I don’t know now, I don’t..