Monday, June 23, 2008

Conversing in the present..

Can’t get away without this one. Have been going through a strange time right now in terms of people, feelings, the very surroundings in general and all the zig-zag has left me confused and a little bugged.

All the traveling I did this month was a lot of fun. “Fun”, a word I need to remind myself of more and more: fun with work, with friends, fun reading, fun doing nothing. Anyways, I need to get back into the grind, work and yet have fun like the good ol days.

A peculiar kind of pressure has built up at home with me being the only spinster left. My younger sister gets married next month and my niece sometime this year. I can virtually hear the worry in my parents’ voices. They think that I’d be upset and all and try to keep themselves calm before me but the fact is that I got too much on my plate to even think on this issue.

This month has also been kinda an eye opener for me. My birthday made me realize about certain people I have in my life. I’ve been off on certain terms with my family but now given up. My past worked against me and I got nothing to say in my defense. But now I’ve grown up and hopefully the howling scene of the last time won’t repeat itself no matter how much it actually hurts. Am also scared of letting somebody off the hook but its inevitable.

Lately, its been impossible to control my temper regarding this dude at work. He’s not a bad chap work wise but other than that, he irritates the shit out of me. I get so pissed with his fucking behavior where he pretends to be my knight in shining armor that I can barely keep myself from abusing or slapping him. He’s trying to force me to go out for dinner with him and I CAN’T!!

Now a certain call has distracted me from the whole issue and I’d say you guys should be glad of the same or I’d have gone on and on considering my present state of insanity.

P.S: This is the first time I've used foul language in my space but I couldn't find another subsitute that would show how angry I am and am not proud of it.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

hmm.... for the everything else and

"thu" for the dude.

:)

~ ॐ ~ said...

make him read it !!!!

ani said...

ok.. so I left u a long long comment and got "blogger errorr" and the comment disappeared!!! Manic Monday it is!!

adding to the manicness... umm.. good time to say "happy belated birthday?" (~dont look daggers at me now!!! loads o birthday hugsys!!) :)

u n me are sailing in the same boat wen it comes to the marriage bit... the only wya to deal with it is to shut up wen parents speak and then completely change subject once they are done! ;) If that doesnt work I say i'm busy! ok bye! i know it feels as if ur being estranged from ur parents jus coz u dont wanna get married just yet and u wish they wud understand... it's a losing battle.. best not to fret it... and its a phase... things will get ok. (been there.. done jus that!)

and sometimes.. even though it hurts like hell, its for the best! dealing with a situation myslef right now... lets see how long the moon is upside down! luv ya! and big super jumbo jahppis!!

and as for the dude who thinks he's oh so cool!! :D hee hee.. trust me ur better off than I am! I have a nut in office who even messages me "where are you" to plan if he'll work from home / office!!!! it's different that i dont reply to the messages and he doesnt have the balls in him to ask me anything more!!! ;)

and sweetheart... loads o super jumbo hugs!!!!! :)

J said...

I feel you on that issue. The pressure sure can get very annoying at times. Que sera sera, I suppose.

Lol.. tell mr. annoying to buzz off, if every thing else fails.

And cliched as it may sound.. this too shall pass.

Sam said...

Anon, Yeh.. :)

Om, He's a lil less than illiterate.. ;)

Ani, Thanks sweetie!! :D The marriage issue has been on between us for some time now but it gets to you at times.. And after reading about your office dude, I think this ones better!! :P

J, Yeh, its the worse patch am going through with everything upside down.. But as you say it, this too shall pass- hopefully soon!! :)

~ ॐ ~ said...

i had read somewhere...

if the good times did not last, the bad ones won't either :)

makes sense to me...

and that guy !!! hindi bhi nahin aati usko?

Sam said...

Om, Yeh, it does make snese to me too.. :) Usko hindi to aati hogi but I have doubts on myself regarding the proficiency of the language.. :(

~ ॐ ~ said...

arre do chaar galiyon ke liye proficiency nahin chahiye :D

heheh...

Sam said...

Om, A not much of an abuser!! :(

~ ॐ ~ said...

hain !!!

ab usko english aati nahin...

hindi tumhe nahin aati...

Gaali de nahin sakte...

bahut confusion hai bhai !!!

Sam said...

Hindi aati hai, problem hai difficulty of expressing correctly in the language.. :P Abusing is too infeminine.. :(

~ ॐ ~ said...

oh !!!

ani said...

i can come and help where the "hindi gaalis" are concrened! ;)

Sam said...

Ani, A dozen of my friends would go lengths given the opportunity but I just can't bring myself to use them!! :( But that nowhere implies that I don't know them, I just don't use them.. :D

ani said...

sam: :D hee hee... (i need serious stimulation to use mine too) a friend of mine long time back went on to say.."you?! you let it be!! ur shut up is also equal to keep quiet" so i sudhroed! ;)

and ur word verifier sound like its letting of som edictionary curse at me by going "wmfzgedk"!!!!!

Sam said...

Ani, Lol..I know we are "good girls" with no bad habit what-so-ever!! ;)

geet said...

first of all..where have you used any bad words yaar...

just tell him or mail him properly that 'you are not interested in going out with him and if he cant understand this then you will stop talking to him' ... am sure he will understand. if doesnt and gimme his number and am serious abt this.

and parents will be parents. their love for us is unconditional. they feel the things tht can make us happy ,we should get it on time(thats wht they think).but they still accept our decisions in any case. am not trying to explain anything.just thought of sharing

Sangfroid said...

I guess the rising temperatures in NCR are taking toll on you :-P

Jokes apart ...
Firstly, belated birthday wishes! Hope you had a nice time :-)

You're right bout the 'Fun' part. Reminding oneself is a good practice ... it'll become spontaneous later.

And, younger siblings tying d knot is no reason for u to follow in their footsteps ... (No, I'm not anti-marriage) :-)

Has the knight already bitten dust? ... if not, do the needful :-)

Lastly, foul language ... where ??

Whoops .. that the longest comment I ever wrote !

Sam said...

Geet, Umm.. I don't use fuck and all in my blog, stupid but still.. :(
I've already taken your advice, no more talking to that guy!! ;)
I know what you mean about parents, I guess it'll all sort out in time.. :)

Sangfroid, Welcome back sir!! ;)
-Firstly, thanks for teh wishes..
-Am counting on that too..
-I totally agree and am too not averse to marriage, it should just happen with teh right person.. :)
-Hell with knight in shining armour.. :P
-I did use foul language (according to me atleast)..
-Keep writing such comments, they express more!!! :D

geet said...

fuck aint foul at all. read it on wikipedia :-).so you still havnt used any foul words according to me.

take care