After a lot of deliberations, it was decided that I would be joining my parents from Delhi to Muzzafarnagar (where my cousin’s wedding had to take place) with a friend of hers in her car. The route being slightly unsafe, we were to go to Noida to my cousin’s Mamaji’s and all the cars would move ahead together.
Muzzafarnagar is a small place with virtually no beauty saloons, I was to take the make-up artists from Delhi, which I did. I picked up these two people in my car, drove down to Sainik Farms and with the friend, to Noida. Even after reaching there on time, we were only able to begin the actual journey at 12:30 by which I was totally bugged, with a bad headache as I’d missed my morning tea (some addiction I have). Anyways, we reached safely by the evening by which I had lost my patience completely.
Chit-chatted a bit with everyone and then the bride-to-be began to get ready. I too started after an hour and a half and after the make-up and jewelry bit realized that the saree kinda thing (actually a readymade saree where you just have to slip into it like a skirt and then drape the pallu) was tight from my waist. Apparently, my contribution to my clothes limited to the extent of giving measurements and the boutique person made it as per my waist size rather than slightly below it. So for one, I had to wear it like really high, which on wearing heels looked even more short and adding to the agony, it was mildly crushed, to which there was no solution again. Now all of you must realize that I was very important at this wedding due to my singular status and I “had” to look good.
After a lot of tantrums, fights and crying before my Mom and my sisters (I dunno how and why they tolerate me at all), I managed to look quite nice and leaving the makeup artists in the hotel itself as they were to leave for Delhi the very night, we left for the venue. On reaching, I got a call from them that the cab hadn’t arrived and a commotion began. It was my responsibility to get them back and virtually after two hours of struggle, we managed to get them dropped (a different post on that fiasco later).
Ultimately the wedding was a lot of fun: I did manage to carry the saree quite gracefully, a feat in itself and got complimented too; the juta churai (shoe stealing ceremony) was a piece of cake and my brother-in-law gave me a ring for it (imagine getting an award for stealing stuff).
What I loved the most was the tata scene that all thanks to the now-bride went off without the usual crying. She’s one strong-willed person and said that she’d rather say her byes happily than going off crying. So that’s how the wedding ended, with lots of love, happiness, fun, family and laughter, the way it should have!!.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
At the risk of sounding rude..
It is said that when it rains, it pours.. July-December is the busiest time of the year for me. A time when I am loaded with work; high work pressure and long hours lead to some mistakes which further trickles down to a lot of shouting and screaming, the result an extremely pathetic day.
You call home to find some solace but amidst all the marriage festivity everyone is distracted, making you miss home all the more. One by one the phone is circulated between all the aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, they laughing, singing, dancing and mocking you for not being there. The sarcasm is evident when they say “tum to bas naukri karo” (you just do your job), without realizing that this is the last thing you want to do, when all you want is to run home. The choice you’ve made is for a reason, for the sake of your independence, freedom and not for money (as mentioned a few times by some relatives).
Everybody knows that money is an important but not the only factor I work for.. What they don’t understand is that I care for what I do, that I hold responsibility for my actions, or even for the lack of it. So though I miss home terribly, the fact remains that I can’t quit everything, a fact that sooner my family accepts, the better it would be for all of us.
You call home to find some solace but amidst all the marriage festivity everyone is distracted, making you miss home all the more. One by one the phone is circulated between all the aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, they laughing, singing, dancing and mocking you for not being there. The sarcasm is evident when they say “tum to bas naukri karo” (you just do your job), without realizing that this is the last thing you want to do, when all you want is to run home. The choice you’ve made is for a reason, for the sake of your independence, freedom and not for money (as mentioned a few times by some relatives).
Everybody knows that money is an important but not the only factor I work for.. What they don’t understand is that I care for what I do, that I hold responsibility for my actions, or even for the lack of it. So though I miss home terribly, the fact remains that I can’t quit everything, a fact that sooner my family accepts, the better it would be for all of us.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Behavioral confusions..
At times I fail to comprehend a lot of things, call it my lack of observance or plain ignorance. I fail to understand behavioral patterns of certain people, what makes them tick, how their psyche functions and I detest not knowing, the absence of me figuring out the reason/logic behind any kind of disorder..
It confuses me.
It confuses me.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Conversing in the present..
Can’t get away without this one. Have been going through a strange time right now in terms of people, feelings, the very surroundings in general and all the zig-zag has left me confused and a little bugged.
All the traveling I did this month was a lot of fun. “Fun”, a word I need to remind myself of more and more: fun with work, with friends, fun reading, fun doing nothing. Anyways, I need to get back into the grind, work and yet have fun like the good ol days.
A peculiar kind of pressure has built up at home with me being the only spinster left. My younger sister gets married next month and my niece sometime this year. I can virtually hear the worry in my parents’ voices. They think that I’d be upset and all and try to keep themselves calm before me but the fact is that I got too much on my plate to even think on this issue.
This month has also been kinda an eye opener for me. My birthday made me realize about certain people I have in my life. I’ve been off on certain terms with my family but now given up. My past worked against me and I got nothing to say in my defense. But now I’ve grown up and hopefully the howling scene of the last time won’t repeat itself no matter how much it actually hurts. Am also scared of letting somebody off the hook but its inevitable.
Lately, its been impossible to control my temper regarding this dude at work. He’s not a bad chap work wise but other than that, he irritates the shit out of me. I get so pissed with his fucking behavior where he pretends to be my knight in shining armor that I can barely keep myself from abusing or slapping him. He’s trying to force me to go out for dinner with him and I CAN’T!!
Now a certain call has distracted me from the whole issue and I’d say you guys should be glad of the same or I’d have gone on and on considering my present state of insanity.
P.S: This is the first time I've used foul language in my space but I couldn't find another subsitute that would show how angry I am and am not proud of it.
All the traveling I did this month was a lot of fun. “Fun”, a word I need to remind myself of more and more: fun with work, with friends, fun reading, fun doing nothing. Anyways, I need to get back into the grind, work and yet have fun like the good ol days.
A peculiar kind of pressure has built up at home with me being the only spinster left. My younger sister gets married next month and my niece sometime this year. I can virtually hear the worry in my parents’ voices. They think that I’d be upset and all and try to keep themselves calm before me but the fact is that I got too much on my plate to even think on this issue.
This month has also been kinda an eye opener for me. My birthday made me realize about certain people I have in my life. I’ve been off on certain terms with my family but now given up. My past worked against me and I got nothing to say in my defense. But now I’ve grown up and hopefully the howling scene of the last time won’t repeat itself no matter how much it actually hurts. Am also scared of letting somebody off the hook but its inevitable.
Lately, its been impossible to control my temper regarding this dude at work. He’s not a bad chap work wise but other than that, he irritates the shit out of me. I get so pissed with his fucking behavior where he pretends to be my knight in shining armor that I can barely keep myself from abusing or slapping him. He’s trying to force me to go out for dinner with him and I CAN’T!!
Now a certain call has distracted me from the whole issue and I’d say you guys should be glad of the same or I’d have gone on and on considering my present state of insanity.
P.S: This is the first time I've used foul language in my space but I couldn't find another subsitute that would show how angry I am and am not proud of it.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Varying definations.
"This was what happiness was- he'd never known it before; this melting away, this exhalation, your guts spilling into your head, filling your eyes- your mind transformed into your body, your body instinct with the joy in your mind, this sensation of reality having met its end." The Glass Palace by Amitav Ghosh.
I found this scribbled on a piece of paper I found deep within the pockets of my bag. And I remember jotting it down because it was one of the nicest ways I'd read love being described as. I seem to derive a new meaning out of it on every read.
I found this scribbled on a piece of paper I found deep within the pockets of my bag. And I remember jotting it down because it was one of the nicest ways I'd read love being described as. I seem to derive a new meaning out of it on every read.
Friday, June 13, 2008
The undisclosed stuff..
This one’s a dicey tag: one that wants me to reveal secrets.. But as the trend goes, I’ll be slightly evasive like burf who tagged me. The list goes like this:
1.I envy people who’ve stayed in foreign countries on their own. I too want to do that just for a tiny bit of it.
2.I love my parents beyond anything.
3.I have a habit of touching my earlobe while sleeping.
4.At times I do not understand lyrics of a lot of English numbers.
5.My idea of romance includes candlelight and fragrance (and I claim not to be mushy).
6.I get embarrassed when a guy approaches me.
7.I can’t understand anything remotely concerning numbers.
8.I love wit.
9.Temptations are very difficult to let go of by me.
10.I think I’ve come this far by sheer luck and some honesty and I possess no real talent.
I think I revealed way too much than I intended to and like always, I do not pass this one to anybody. Please do it if you want to and I’d love to read it.
1.I envy people who’ve stayed in foreign countries on their own. I too want to do that just for a tiny bit of it.
2.I love my parents beyond anything.
3.I have a habit of touching my earlobe while sleeping.
4.At times I do not understand lyrics of a lot of English numbers.
5.My idea of romance includes candlelight and fragrance (and I claim not to be mushy).
6.I get embarrassed when a guy approaches me.
7.I can’t understand anything remotely concerning numbers.
8.I love wit.
9.Temptations are very difficult to let go of by me.
10.I think I’ve come this far by sheer luck and some honesty and I possess no real talent.
I think I revealed way too much than I intended to and like always, I do not pass this one to anybody. Please do it if you want to and I’d love to read it.
Monday, June 09, 2008
The long and short of it..
- I suck at treks. I did pretty well climbing up and going down but the fatigue was beyond imagination. This in spite of that hour and a half regime I've been trying to follow.
- My tolerance level is much more than I thought. The bathing area near the Temple was beyond dirty/gross, I managed to take that bath and not crib.
- People have dual personalities, personal and professional For now I like my boss and I know tomorrow I'll get back to disliking him.
- I don't know how to fend off that guy without being mean.
- That sleep after one Combiflam was blissful, I think I connected with God.
- Its strange how that one person is the only one you want to see no matter how strongly you dislike him when you are totally lost in a strange place. I couldn't control my emotions after I saw my boss after almost two hours of being lost.
- Some people inspire faith just by their mere presence.
- I am lucky, I've people who love me, I realised that on my birthday.
- My birthday/trip from which I had zilch expectations was very good.
- I need to exercise more.
- My tolerance level is much more than I thought. The bathing area near the Temple was beyond dirty/gross, I managed to take that bath and not crib.
- People have dual personalities, personal and professional For now I like my boss and I know tomorrow I'll get back to disliking him.
- I don't know how to fend off that guy without being mean.
- That sleep after one Combiflam was blissful, I think I connected with God.
- Its strange how that one person is the only one you want to see no matter how strongly you dislike him when you are totally lost in a strange place. I couldn't control my emotions after I saw my boss after almost two hours of being lost.
- Some people inspire faith just by their mere presence.
- I am lucky, I've people who love me, I realised that on my birthday.
- My birthday/trip from which I had zilch expectations was very good.
- I need to exercise more.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Of venting it out..
I was intending to write about something else, about how I like to watch the just arrived baby pigeons that look like little fur balls in the nest on my bathroom ventilator. About how I am obsessed with hands and feet of people, probably them being one of the first things I notice about anyone, the bone structure, the length of palm versus the fingers, the neat or cluttered lines that run across it, the nails, their shape, everything, and how I click them more than the faces whenever am doing that bit of photography..
But now am going to ramble about my work. Lets be honest, am not great at what am doing currently, neither do I enjoy it half as much as I did designing but am learning, giving my best shot and trying to get there. The annual increment was depressing, although I hadn’t expected even that much but then what the heck, am human and humans compare and when I did compare with my colleagues, I felt like crap.
Adding on to the brunt, I unfortunately told the exact figures to someone!! The calculations begun, the increment against the inflation rate and then my consequential increase in purchasing power.. That sucked big time!! I mean its alright to be totally practical but at that moment I didn’t need that, I wanted a friend who could tell me that money was shit and that it didn’t matter and like my Dad always says, I don’t work for money, I work to keep myself occupied, I work because I love to do what I do and primarily I work to achieve my ultimate goal (and am not revealing that one!!). The discussion kinda hurt my dignity and probably later I’d realize the importance of this reality check, but not now.
Anyways, the only consolation is that on the whole my account shows a very good figure and I’ll be buying myself that IPod Shuffle I’ve been waiting for!!
P.S: Am damn tempted to post my salary slip and ask for comments but I know I'll regret it later on so I shall refrain!!
But now am going to ramble about my work. Lets be honest, am not great at what am doing currently, neither do I enjoy it half as much as I did designing but am learning, giving my best shot and trying to get there. The annual increment was depressing, although I hadn’t expected even that much but then what the heck, am human and humans compare and when I did compare with my colleagues, I felt like crap.
Adding on to the brunt, I unfortunately told the exact figures to someone!! The calculations begun, the increment against the inflation rate and then my consequential increase in purchasing power.. That sucked big time!! I mean its alright to be totally practical but at that moment I didn’t need that, I wanted a friend who could tell me that money was shit and that it didn’t matter and like my Dad always says, I don’t work for money, I work to keep myself occupied, I work because I love to do what I do and primarily I work to achieve my ultimate goal (and am not revealing that one!!). The discussion kinda hurt my dignity and probably later I’d realize the importance of this reality check, but not now.
Anyways, the only consolation is that on the whole my account shows a very good figure and I’ll be buying myself that IPod Shuffle I’ve been waiting for!!
P.S: Am damn tempted to post my salary slip and ask for comments but I know I'll regret it later on so I shall refrain!!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Through the mind's eye..
As indicated in my previous post, boredom has captured my life and inspite of my many efforts to get over it, I’ve failed miserably. This boredom has led me to visualize places I’d like to go to, mostly those the ones I’ve read in books..
-Paris: It’s considered the most romantic city of the world. The museums like Louvre,the Churches lend to the city a certain charm and mystery, especially intensified by Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. And then its got that dream like flavour to it, lent by the painters, musicians, the architecture, I can go on..
-Egypt: Pyramids, mummies, architecture, grandeur, mystery, need I say more!!
-Kerala: “God’s own country”, how aptly said.
-Vegas: The glamour, the larger than life image, the blinding lights, the sheer richness and opulence!! I once want to have enough money to be able to blow it off at the best casino there and hopefully not regret it too.
-Russia: For reasons unfathomable to even me, but as somebody tried reasoning my own reason, romance perhaps. I got enchanted by that place after reading Ayn Rand’s We the Living.
-Bahamas: The three S’s..
-Morocco: There’s a certain royalty about that place, a cultural heritage and that enigma factor, something that most of the Islamic cities have. Plus, I like the way its pronounced..
-Ladakh: The hills, the clear blue skies and lakes, the serenity, the air that is so fresh and cold that it hurts when you breathe, the subdued paleness where one colour blends into the other, like a water painting, the whiteness so stark that you have to shut your eyes.. No I’ve not been there, not yet!!
-Tibet: Buddhism inspires me, rather fascinates me even though I do not know much about it.
-Australia: Gotta see the coral reef and witness the Opera once in my lifetime.
These are the places I’ve heard about, read about, wondered of but am sure there’d be a zillion others that though do not have the discovery or enigma factor I look for in a place, they’d be a wonder just for the beauty, the peace, the ones am still to learn of and add to the list.
-Paris: It’s considered the most romantic city of the world. The museums like Louvre,the Churches lend to the city a certain charm and mystery, especially intensified by Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. And then its got that dream like flavour to it, lent by the painters, musicians, the architecture, I can go on..
-Egypt: Pyramids, mummies, architecture, grandeur, mystery, need I say more!!
-Kerala: “God’s own country”, how aptly said.
-Vegas: The glamour, the larger than life image, the blinding lights, the sheer richness and opulence!! I once want to have enough money to be able to blow it off at the best casino there and hopefully not regret it too.
-Russia: For reasons unfathomable to even me, but as somebody tried reasoning my own reason, romance perhaps. I got enchanted by that place after reading Ayn Rand’s We the Living.
-Bahamas: The three S’s..
-Morocco: There’s a certain royalty about that place, a cultural heritage and that enigma factor, something that most of the Islamic cities have. Plus, I like the way its pronounced..
-Ladakh: The hills, the clear blue skies and lakes, the serenity, the air that is so fresh and cold that it hurts when you breathe, the subdued paleness where one colour blends into the other, like a water painting, the whiteness so stark that you have to shut your eyes.. No I’ve not been there, not yet!!
-Tibet: Buddhism inspires me, rather fascinates me even though I do not know much about it.
-Australia: Gotta see the coral reef and witness the Opera once in my lifetime.
These are the places I’ve heard about, read about, wondered of but am sure there’d be a zillion others that though do not have the discovery or enigma factor I look for in a place, they’d be a wonder just for the beauty, the peace, the ones am still to learn of and add to the list.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Umm..
The days are a reflection of each other, one days passes and the next approaches but when you think about the past, its all a blur, simple succession, just a conversion of minutes into hours and hours into days. Sometimes it feels like that lull before the storm or being the eternal optimist that I am, autumn before spring. The excitement, that surprise element seems to have evaporated out of life and the only piece of conversation I have is how bitchy the other flat mate of mine is. I don’t even feel happy about spending those two hours at Landmark the other day, a treat I gave myself when I was totally outraged with life.
The worst part is, earlier I use to read books/blogs and get inspired by them to write something of my own, I had so much to share that ideas buzzed in my head. Now the condition is entirely opposite, there is happiness in my voice, but a hint of boredom too, the smile on my face is accompanied by a lameness of expression and if this trend continues, I’ll lose all my friends- they’d be shit bored being with me.
Currently, am bored of all the things I love: books, people, sarcasm.
The worst part is, earlier I use to read books/blogs and get inspired by them to write something of my own, I had so much to share that ideas buzzed in my head. Now the condition is entirely opposite, there is happiness in my voice, but a hint of boredom too, the smile on my face is accompanied by a lameness of expression and if this trend continues, I’ll lose all my friends- they’d be shit bored being with me.
Currently, am bored of all the things I love: books, people, sarcasm.
Monday, May 05, 2008
To do or not to do..
Since past a lot of weekends, I’ve been home alone.. Friday nights bring me to an empty apartment that lacks basic necessities like drinking water, vegetables, grocery, et all. So I drive myself back to the market, shop, call for the water can and prepare the place for a comfortable weekend.
However, past week has seen me toying with the idea of living on my own. I mean, one has roommates to talk to, to go out with, to share but as am my own virtually on all of the above mentioned issues, the idea of being alone has been growing on me. I’ve never done that before inspite of being out for almost 9 years and I have a zillion ifs and buts, a lot of inhibitions but the thought has pre-occupied my mind tremendously. I even spoke to Mom and Dad about it and surprisingly they were alright with it. Dad even went ahead and said that I should begin to look for a studio apartment kind of arrangement in a posh locality and then he and Mom would come down to settle me in. So if all goes well, I should be out by winter beginning.
Another thought I got on my mind is a tattoo. I’ve wanted a shooting star on my ankle for ages now and after seeing Ani’s, I’ve been dying to get one. It’s a matter of preparing myself to bear all that pain and finding the appropriate person to do it that’s stopping me. Again, amazingly enough Mummy is cool with it (and I am shocked with her reaction!!).
Next comes this contemplation of putting up a picture of myself on the blog. The picture does not show much of me, just a shadow kind of thing but going so public on the blog, when I’ve never even used the names of people I know, let alone myself, seems awkward..
Am hoping I’ll come to a decision on all of the above issues, how soon is a question I need to answer for myself
However, past week has seen me toying with the idea of living on my own. I mean, one has roommates to talk to, to go out with, to share but as am my own virtually on all of the above mentioned issues, the idea of being alone has been growing on me. I’ve never done that before inspite of being out for almost 9 years and I have a zillion ifs and buts, a lot of inhibitions but the thought has pre-occupied my mind tremendously. I even spoke to Mom and Dad about it and surprisingly they were alright with it. Dad even went ahead and said that I should begin to look for a studio apartment kind of arrangement in a posh locality and then he and Mom would come down to settle me in. So if all goes well, I should be out by winter beginning.
Another thought I got on my mind is a tattoo. I’ve wanted a shooting star on my ankle for ages now and after seeing Ani’s, I’ve been dying to get one. It’s a matter of preparing myself to bear all that pain and finding the appropriate person to do it that’s stopping me. Again, amazingly enough Mummy is cool with it (and I am shocked with her reaction!!).
Next comes this contemplation of putting up a picture of myself on the blog. The picture does not show much of me, just a shadow kind of thing but going so public on the blog, when I’ve never even used the names of people I know, let alone myself, seems awkward..
Am hoping I’ll come to a decision on all of the above issues, how soon is a question I need to answer for myself
Friday, May 02, 2008
J's tag.
Last movie you saw in a theater
Khuda Kay Liye
What book are you reading
Life of Pi
Favorite board game
Ludo
Favorite smells
Green Apple; Earth, post rains; Kerosene; Mint.
Favorite sound
Laughter
Worst feeling in the world
Loneliness/ Missing family.
What is the first thing you think of when you wake up
Can I afford an extra five minute sleep??
Favorite fast food place
McDonald's
Future child's name
I'll reveal it after the baby comes out!!
Finish this statement. "If I had a lot of money, I'd...."
Travel, travel and travel...
Do you drive fast
Hmm.. depends entirely on where I've to get to and whom to meet.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal
I don't like sharing my bed with ANYONE.
Storms- Cool or scary
Totally cool.
What was your first car
First and current car: Wagon R.
Favorite drink
Lemonade
Finish this statement. "If I had the time, I would..."
Get bored.
Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Only if its properly boiled and very easily chewable.
If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
I got "virgin hair" and I plan to keep it that ways..
Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in
After being tagged by J and reading his list, mine seems non-existent.. Its just Lucknow, Chennai, Gharaunda and Gurgaon for me.
Favorite sports to watch
Ice skating.
One nice thing about the person who sent this to you
He's funny and he loves to read.
What's under your bed?
My travel bag.
Would you like to be born as yourself again?
I'll have to ask my parents if they'd like to have me as me, yet again!!
Morning person or night owl
Somewhere in between.
Over easy or sunny side up
Sunny side up.
Favorite place to relax
My bed;loo.
Favorite pie
Apple pie.
Favorite ice cream flavor
After 8, basically chocolate with mint.
Of all the people you tagged this to, who is most likely to respond first?
Most of the people I know have already done this one, the ones who've not, won't be interested and the ones who are can take it up themselves.
Khuda Kay Liye
What book are you reading
Life of Pi
Favorite board game
Ludo
Favorite smells
Green Apple; Earth, post rains; Kerosene; Mint.
Favorite sound
Laughter
Worst feeling in the world
Loneliness/ Missing family.
What is the first thing you think of when you wake up
Can I afford an extra five minute sleep??
Favorite fast food place
McDonald's
Future child's name
I'll reveal it after the baby comes out!!
Finish this statement. "If I had a lot of money, I'd...."
Travel, travel and travel...
Do you drive fast
Hmm.. depends entirely on where I've to get to and whom to meet.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal
I don't like sharing my bed with ANYONE.
Storms- Cool or scary
Totally cool.
What was your first car
First and current car: Wagon R.
Favorite drink
Lemonade
Finish this statement. "If I had the time, I would..."
Get bored.
Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Only if its properly boiled and very easily chewable.
If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
I got "virgin hair" and I plan to keep it that ways..
Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in
After being tagged by J and reading his list, mine seems non-existent.. Its just Lucknow, Chennai, Gharaunda and Gurgaon for me.
Favorite sports to watch
Ice skating.
One nice thing about the person who sent this to you
He's funny and he loves to read.
What's under your bed?
My travel bag.
Would you like to be born as yourself again?
I'll have to ask my parents if they'd like to have me as me, yet again!!
Morning person or night owl
Somewhere in between.
Over easy or sunny side up
Sunny side up.
Favorite place to relax
My bed;loo.
Favorite pie
Apple pie.
Favorite ice cream flavor
After 8, basically chocolate with mint.
Of all the people you tagged this to, who is most likely to respond first?
Most of the people I know have already done this one, the ones who've not, won't be interested and the ones who are can take it up themselves.
Friday, April 18, 2008
The trust factor..
~ What makes you allowing strange electrician/ plumber/ carpenter into your house?
~ What makes you give your house keys to your maid you’ve known for months?
~ What makes you go to places in a strange cab, strange city?
~ How do you believe that stranger you’ve just asked direction from?
~ What makes you give yourself in the hands of a strange man who’ll rip open your body for that operation?
~ What makes you deposit all your money into a bank?
~ What gives to the strength to enter into matrimony with a strange man, with a few recommendations?
~ What give you the courage to cross the road during heavy traffic?
A thousand such questions run through my mind and the only answer I get from within myself is: TRUST, my trust in fellow humans, my trust in God, and somewhere in myself too.
And people tell me I don’t trust easily, crap!!
~ What makes you give your house keys to your maid you’ve known for months?
~ What makes you go to places in a strange cab, strange city?
~ How do you believe that stranger you’ve just asked direction from?
~ What makes you give yourself in the hands of a strange man who’ll rip open your body for that operation?
~ What makes you deposit all your money into a bank?
~ What gives to the strength to enter into matrimony with a strange man, with a few recommendations?
~ What give you the courage to cross the road during heavy traffic?
A thousand such questions run through my mind and the only answer I get from within myself is: TRUST, my trust in fellow humans, my trust in God, and somewhere in myself too.
And people tell me I don’t trust easily, crap!!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
White noise
That’s what it is like, hazy, unclear, disturbing, making no sense at all. It just goes on and on and on, disturbs your senses, your ears, your eyes..
That screechy, crazy noise that makes you change the channel, switch off you television sets, before which every other sound ceases to exist and you hope that next time when you turn on your systems, the noise would vanish.. It makes you stop doing everything else, the noise is so powerful and disturbing, it bangs inside your head, turns everything upside down and if it doesn’t stop, makes you scream!!
Can you imagine yourself locked in a room, being forced to hear that blare again and again??
For me loneliness is like that “white noise”.. Call it quarter life crises when you don’t know which way to go, when all your friends are either married or dating and you find yourself all alone, no sound except the fan running or the tube light hizzing. You turn the T.V on and are greeted by that white noise and then suddenly you begin recognizing the pattern, the notes in that profound, insane noise and appreciating that crazy sound..
You’re in for trouble, you’re loosing your mind.. that white noise has begun creeping in your life!!
That screechy, crazy noise that makes you change the channel, switch off you television sets, before which every other sound ceases to exist and you hope that next time when you turn on your systems, the noise would vanish.. It makes you stop doing everything else, the noise is so powerful and disturbing, it bangs inside your head, turns everything upside down and if it doesn’t stop, makes you scream!!
Can you imagine yourself locked in a room, being forced to hear that blare again and again??
For me loneliness is like that “white noise”.. Call it quarter life crises when you don’t know which way to go, when all your friends are either married or dating and you find yourself all alone, no sound except the fan running or the tube light hizzing. You turn the T.V on and are greeted by that white noise and then suddenly you begin recognizing the pattern, the notes in that profound, insane noise and appreciating that crazy sound..
You’re in for trouble, you’re loosing your mind.. that white noise has begun creeping in your life!!
Friday, April 04, 2008
And how I'll miss her.
Sisters are the quintessential parts of life, a fact probably only those would acknowledge who have one. I have two sisters and although they are much older than me, they are my best friends.
However, the person I am going to write about here is though not me real sister but she’s nothing less. She’s about two years younger than me and we’ve virtually grown up together. My earliest memories of her is of us fighting over something where I hit her and she in turn bit my hand, the tiny scar of which still remains at the back of my hand as a testimony of those innocent and crazy times.
Growing up with her was having fun, playing pranks on servants, competing for attention, laughing, and yet maintain our love and friendship for each other. After standard XII both of us landed up at NIFT, different batches and centers but distance failed to damage the bond, infact we became even closer. I shared stuff with her that I probably wouldn’t with anybody else and she, though being younger showed enormous understanding and maturity for which I respect her. She made me realize how important family was and how if all of us wanted to be together, couldn’t take grudges against each other.
You must be wondering what made me write about her.. Well, she’s getting married this July and this time when I went to my Amma’s place, with her out of station, the gravity of what I’d be missing struck me. I realized how its not going to be the same henceforth, how her laughter will not fill the house, the absence of her vivacity during festivals and family occasions, the joy she brought to all of us, those mid night conversations about life, changes, dreams and boys and how Amma’s place will never be the same again for me.
I hope she continues spreading that love and happiness in the new jaundra of her life and this time too distance be only in spaces and not hearts..
However, the person I am going to write about here is though not me real sister but she’s nothing less. She’s about two years younger than me and we’ve virtually grown up together. My earliest memories of her is of us fighting over something where I hit her and she in turn bit my hand, the tiny scar of which still remains at the back of my hand as a testimony of those innocent and crazy times.
Growing up with her was having fun, playing pranks on servants, competing for attention, laughing, and yet maintain our love and friendship for each other. After standard XII both of us landed up at NIFT, different batches and centers but distance failed to damage the bond, infact we became even closer. I shared stuff with her that I probably wouldn’t with anybody else and she, though being younger showed enormous understanding and maturity for which I respect her. She made me realize how important family was and how if all of us wanted to be together, couldn’t take grudges against each other.
You must be wondering what made me write about her.. Well, she’s getting married this July and this time when I went to my Amma’s place, with her out of station, the gravity of what I’d be missing struck me. I realized how its not going to be the same henceforth, how her laughter will not fill the house, the absence of her vivacity during festivals and family occasions, the joy she brought to all of us, those mid night conversations about life, changes, dreams and boys and how Amma’s place will never be the same again for me.
I hope she continues spreading that love and happiness in the new jaundra of her life and this time too distance be only in spaces and not hearts..
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
When doing nothing seems the best idea..
Places make you nostalgic, things make you nostalgic, people make you nostalgic and so do memories..
This weekend I flew down home on a whim, I flew because I was scared to be alone, I flew because nostalgia had gripped me like never before and I knew that only my parents could give me that assurance, that security I was craving for.
I went home and did nothing and that nothing was so good to do that I prolonged my stay for further two days. My routine at home was like:
~ Get up in the morning around 11-11:30 am.
~ Go to my parents’ room where my dad would be working or watching TV, hug him and take that 10 minute nap.
~ My cook would come with my usual nimbu paani, tea and toast by then.
~ Wash, brush and hog.
~ Chat with Papa for an hour or two before he left for work.
~ Shower and help Mom in the kitchen or simply sit their and talk with her.
~ Wait for Papa for lunch and eat with him.
~ Laze, read, watch TV or call my neice and nephew over to my place and play with them.
~ By 7:00 in the evening I was out with my friends and came back by 10:00-10:30 pm.
~ Again sit with my parents.
~ Read till 2:00-3:00am and dose off.
Such peace and tranquility gripped me during this time that for a while I even considered quitting my job and staying on forever.. I’ve given myself a month to sit on the thought and come up with a conclusion, lets see!!
This weekend I flew down home on a whim, I flew because I was scared to be alone, I flew because nostalgia had gripped me like never before and I knew that only my parents could give me that assurance, that security I was craving for.
I went home and did nothing and that nothing was so good to do that I prolonged my stay for further two days. My routine at home was like:
~ Get up in the morning around 11-11:30 am.
~ Go to my parents’ room where my dad would be working or watching TV, hug him and take that 10 minute nap.
~ My cook would come with my usual nimbu paani, tea and toast by then.
~ Wash, brush and hog.
~ Chat with Papa for an hour or two before he left for work.
~ Shower and help Mom in the kitchen or simply sit their and talk with her.
~ Wait for Papa for lunch and eat with him.
~ Laze, read, watch TV or call my neice and nephew over to my place and play with them.
~ By 7:00 in the evening I was out with my friends and came back by 10:00-10:30 pm.
~ Again sit with my parents.
~ Read till 2:00-3:00am and dose off.
Such peace and tranquility gripped me during this time that for a while I even considered quitting my job and staying on forever.. I’ve given myself a month to sit on the thought and come up with a conclusion, lets see!!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Personally speaking..
Work for me is personal!! I give 3/4th of my day to work, beginning from getting up in the morning, preparing lunch, fighting the morning traffic to get to the office at 9.00am sharp. I slog throughout the day, tolerate my boss, bear chauvinism, survive politics, smile at people I dislike and ignore lewd stares and comments...
Once home (virtually after 10-11 hours at office), my preparation for the next day begins from buying vegetables/grocery on my way home to cooking as soon as I get back so that I can call it a night early on. I hardly go out with friends on weekdays and even get nightmares about things going wrong at work.
I feel helpless seeing a vendor in a bad shape and being rude when I ignore these zillion phone calls for I don’t have answers to the questions like when they can receive the next order so that they can re-open their factories. I get traumatized by their problems, carry work tensions into my personal life.. My day at work usually dictates the way I talk to my parents, siblings and friends and yet I am asked to believe in the phrase : “Its not personal, its business!!”
Can I??
Once home (virtually after 10-11 hours at office), my preparation for the next day begins from buying vegetables/grocery on my way home to cooking as soon as I get back so that I can call it a night early on. I hardly go out with friends on weekdays and even get nightmares about things going wrong at work.
I feel helpless seeing a vendor in a bad shape and being rude when I ignore these zillion phone calls for I don’t have answers to the questions like when they can receive the next order so that they can re-open their factories. I get traumatized by their problems, carry work tensions into my personal life.. My day at work usually dictates the way I talk to my parents, siblings and friends and yet I am asked to believe in the phrase : “Its not personal, its business!!”
Can I??
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Sigh..
It began with the evening day before. I was in the office till about 8:40 pm when the meeting got over and I was asked to display my shoeline before leaving. My presentation was to take place the next day but being a little too tired, I left the arrangement mid way and headed for home. That particular day had turned out to be a bit grueling, thanks to my colleague throwing attitude for no apparent reason.
Next day was doomsday, the meeting began at 8:45 am as decided and obviously I reached late at about 9:10am due to the heavy traffic. My boss was fuming and I got a blasting before eight senior people, which needless to say was extremely embarrassing. I then goofed it up even further by forgetting all the sales figures am supposed to remember and things got from bad to worse. All the efforts that I’d been putting in all this while and the evident results had all been overlooked. I don’t know how I controlled myself from running out of the conference room at that moment. Icing on the cake was being invited (rather ordered) for the lunch and then being totally ripped apart.
The situation is still pretty grim: my colleague is in his prolonged state of insanity, my super boss believes that I am apparently not serious about my work and the top sales team assumes that am a fool for I forgot everything..
When will things get better??
Next day was doomsday, the meeting began at 8:45 am as decided and obviously I reached late at about 9:10am due to the heavy traffic. My boss was fuming and I got a blasting before eight senior people, which needless to say was extremely embarrassing. I then goofed it up even further by forgetting all the sales figures am supposed to remember and things got from bad to worse. All the efforts that I’d been putting in all this while and the evident results had all been overlooked. I don’t know how I controlled myself from running out of the conference room at that moment. Icing on the cake was being invited (rather ordered) for the lunch and then being totally ripped apart.
The situation is still pretty grim: my colleague is in his prolonged state of insanity, my super boss believes that I am apparently not serious about my work and the top sales team assumes that am a fool for I forgot everything..
When will things get better??
Friday, March 14, 2008
Looking up..
I just happened to visit Mansi's blog and was truly inspired by her words.
Her blog forced me to think in a direction long forgotten by me and stirred something within that I thought didn't exist, rather ignored for a long, long time..
Try going through it and am sure you'll come about as a more thoughtful, if not a better person..
P.S: Thanks Mansi for commenting on my post and thereby opening me up to hopefully a better me.
Her blog forced me to think in a direction long forgotten by me and stirred something within that I thought didn't exist, rather ignored for a long, long time..
Try going through it and am sure you'll come about as a more thoughtful, if not a better person..
P.S: Thanks Mansi for commenting on my post and thereby opening me up to hopefully a better me.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Uncluttering the clutter..
Past few days have seen me cleaning spaces: literally!! I’ve cleared my cupboard, my shoe rack, my dresser, the kitchen shelves, the refrigerator, my email and cellphone inbox(s), my desktop, my feelings, thoughts, everything I could think off.. I carefully sorted out stuff, piled them into wanted, maybe and to be discarded slots and made my decisions.
The earlier ones were easy, rather welcome. It was a long weekend and I hate doing nothing so cleaning up the place was a pleasant chore. However, soon it was all done, things at home were spick and span and I found myself thinking about those mixed emotions, that inner turmoil I ignore as much as I can, the feelings I don’t admit even to myself…
All the cleaning and organizing had left me content and motivated to go on and so I took up the challenge to clear my thoughts. I contemplated on the people I’d clung on to, the people whom I called my friends but hadn’t spoken to them since ages, the people who cared so much about me without bothering if I reciprocated; I let the first ones go, decided upon the second one and began respecting the last ones..
I relived memories (all good ones because I think only the nicer ones have the ability to make you feel sad, the bad ones provoke anger) and let them pass too..
I emptied the mess in my head and now I feel exhilarated like never before.
The earlier ones were easy, rather welcome. It was a long weekend and I hate doing nothing so cleaning up the place was a pleasant chore. However, soon it was all done, things at home were spick and span and I found myself thinking about those mixed emotions, that inner turmoil I ignore as much as I can, the feelings I don’t admit even to myself…
All the cleaning and organizing had left me content and motivated to go on and so I took up the challenge to clear my thoughts. I contemplated on the people I’d clung on to, the people whom I called my friends but hadn’t spoken to them since ages, the people who cared so much about me without bothering if I reciprocated; I let the first ones go, decided upon the second one and began respecting the last ones..
I relived memories (all good ones because I think only the nicer ones have the ability to make you feel sad, the bad ones provoke anger) and let them pass too..
I emptied the mess in my head and now I feel exhilarated like never before.
Monday, March 03, 2008
And that's how my Dad made my day!!
Its my Dad's Birthday today and instead of I making his day, he made mine...
ME: Happy Birthday Papa!!
PAPA: Thank you beta..
ME: So what are you doing??
PAPA: Working (in his study at home)
ME: Ohh..so who else called? Did N & G (my sisters) wish you??
PAPA: Not yet.
ME: See, I am your best daughter..right?
PAPA: Yes, you are my best daughter..
And Papa said it with such love and affection that it instantly brought a smile on my face, all my worries were dispelled and I felt all loved and pampered, just like a small child, just like his youngest daughter!!
ME: Happy Birthday Papa!!
PAPA: Thank you beta..
ME: So what are you doing??
PAPA: Working (in his study at home)
ME: Ohh..so who else called? Did N & G (my sisters) wish you??
PAPA: Not yet.
ME: See, I am your best daughter..right?
PAPA: Yes, you are my best daughter..
And Papa said it with such love and affection that it instantly brought a smile on my face, all my worries were dispelled and I felt all loved and pampered, just like a small child, just like his youngest daughter!!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Am I getting weird??
These days I find myself praying for Mr.Bully's (read my boss) happiness because he has the ability to screw up mine...
Monday, February 25, 2008
Saturday night..
Breaking monotony, having fun, Absolut, chips, crackers, smoke, good old days, music, laughter, insights, confessions, crying, sadness, keeping the volume low, three roomies, comfort, hesitations, going back in time, malice, cribbing, bonding, warmth, phone, conversations, depth, joy, stories of new found love, giggles, questions..
And that's how that Saturday ended, or Sunday began!!
And that's how that Saturday ended, or Sunday began!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Smile..
Desperately needing a cheer after a blasting from my boss (and expecting another one after he's done with the meeting), I decided to be stubborn and began reading old blogs of friends instead of working. I randomly reached Aparna's blog and while going through her ancient posts, came across this one.
Its a copy paste but made me smile, hope it has a similar effect on you..
Take a few minutes and read these. Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to
the next one.........
> Falling in love.
> Laughing so hard your face hurts.
> A hot shower.
> No lines at the Super Wal-Mart.
> A special glance.
> Getting mail.
> Taking a drive on a pretty road.
> Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
> Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
> Hot towels out of the dryer.
> Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla!)
> A long distance phone call.
> A bubble bath.
> Giggling.
> A Good conversation.
> The beach.
> Finding a $20 bill (or $100) in your coat from last winter.
> Laughing at yourself.
> Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
> Running through sprinklers.
> Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
> Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
> Laughing at an inside joke.
> Friends.
> Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
> Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
> Your first kiss.
> Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
> Playing with a new puppy.
> Having someone play with your hair.
> Sweet dreams.
> Hot chocolate.
> Road trips with friends.
> Swinging on swings.
> Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking eggnog.
> Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
> Going to a really good concert.
> Winning a really competitive game.
> Making chocolate chip cookies.
> Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
> Spending time with close friends.
> Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
> Holding hands with someone you care about.
> Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
> Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
> Watching the ex-pression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
> Watching the sunrise.
> Getting out of bed every morning and thanking God for another beautiful day.
Its a copy paste but made me smile, hope it has a similar effect on you..
Take a few minutes and read these. Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to
the next one.........
> Falling in love.
> Laughing so hard your face hurts.
> A hot shower.
> No lines at the Super Wal-Mart.
> A special glance.
> Getting mail.
> Taking a drive on a pretty road.
> Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
> Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
> Hot towels out of the dryer.
> Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla!)
> A long distance phone call.
> A bubble bath.
> Giggling.
> A Good conversation.
> The beach.
> Finding a $20 bill (or $100) in your coat from last winter.
> Laughing at yourself.
> Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
> Running through sprinklers.
> Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
> Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
> Laughing at an inside joke.
> Friends.
> Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
> Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
> Your first kiss.
> Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
> Playing with a new puppy.
> Having someone play with your hair.
> Sweet dreams.
> Hot chocolate.
> Road trips with friends.
> Swinging on swings.
> Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking eggnog.
> Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
> Going to a really good concert.
> Winning a really competitive game.
> Making chocolate chip cookies.
> Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
> Spending time with close friends.
> Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
> Holding hands with someone you care about.
> Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
> Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
> Watching the ex-pression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
> Watching the sunrise.
> Getting out of bed every morning and thanking God for another beautiful day.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Bit by bit..
Handicrafts in India form a major source of income to the rural segment of our society. The income is meager but aspirations high. I came to realize the importance of handiwork on my last visit to Sambal, a tiny district close to a small Uttar Pradesh town of Muradabaad.
Muradabaad is primarily famous for its brass work but a lot of small crafts like “dari” (rug) making, zari work, block printing co-exist in its shadow. One such craft cluster I saw was dari making, an art where rugs are woven on a loom like, locally made machine. The material used is strips of wasted cloth or seconds blankets from Ludhiana factories.
What struck me about this place was its people and the conditions they worked under. A tiny courtyard is occupied by the loom, the cloth strips, a cooking area with utensils, domestic animals such as goats and chicken and last but not the least, a tiny cot. The artisans play loud music while working to maintain focus and are able to complete 3-4 rugs in a day.
On speaking to them about the hardships they faced while cultivating the crafts, they poured their hearts out. I was told how these poor and most of the times illiterate people were cheated by giving them huge orders and then later deceived for all the hard work put in by them. Lack of working capital forced them to borrow money at huge interest rates by pawning whatever little they had and after the production was complete, a dozen quality issues cropped up and the inspector refused to take the stock. These men were then forced to sell it off at the price desired by the buyer for the fear of hoarding stock. These craftsmen earn barely a rupee or two per piece and are even content with that.. I couldn’t believe that people could be so merciless and deprive these uneducated men of even their due share.
These artisans who are engineers, designers and pillars of a diminishing craft are dying a slow death and no one is paying heed to them. A little motivation, support and encouragement can go a long way. I am trying to do my bit and pray that the Government tries to do theirs before its too late..
Muradabaad is primarily famous for its brass work but a lot of small crafts like “dari” (rug) making, zari work, block printing co-exist in its shadow. One such craft cluster I saw was dari making, an art where rugs are woven on a loom like, locally made machine. The material used is strips of wasted cloth or seconds blankets from Ludhiana factories.
What struck me about this place was its people and the conditions they worked under. A tiny courtyard is occupied by the loom, the cloth strips, a cooking area with utensils, domestic animals such as goats and chicken and last but not the least, a tiny cot. The artisans play loud music while working to maintain focus and are able to complete 3-4 rugs in a day.
On speaking to them about the hardships they faced while cultivating the crafts, they poured their hearts out. I was told how these poor and most of the times illiterate people were cheated by giving them huge orders and then later deceived for all the hard work put in by them. Lack of working capital forced them to borrow money at huge interest rates by pawning whatever little they had and after the production was complete, a dozen quality issues cropped up and the inspector refused to take the stock. These men were then forced to sell it off at the price desired by the buyer for the fear of hoarding stock. These craftsmen earn barely a rupee or two per piece and are even content with that.. I couldn’t believe that people could be so merciless and deprive these uneducated men of even their due share.
These artisans who are engineers, designers and pillars of a diminishing craft are dying a slow death and no one is paying heed to them. A little motivation, support and encouragement can go a long way. I am trying to do my bit and pray that the Government tries to do theirs before its too late..
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Accident..
Past two days have been kinda crazy for me. I commute a distance of 5 kilometers on a cycle rickshaw, all thanks to the accident I had on Friday evening. A truck rammed into the front of my car, completely destroying the bumper, lights and the grill. So now, all credit to the awesome Gurgaon infrastructure, it takes me 45 minutes to cover a distance of 10 minutes.
Its freezing cold outside at 8:15 am (yes, that’s when I leave my home) and I have to wrap myself from head to toe before I set a foot outside. I than need to walk for about 10 minutes before I finally manage to get a rick. Once on board, I am free to look around and observe but I can’t do that either for its all dusty and your eyes are at constant threat if you dare to open them before you reach the destination. Anyhow, I do manage to squint a bit and witness people doing funny things while they halt at the red light. I see people picking their nose, combing their hair, checking themselves in the rare view mirror, applying lipstick, shouting on somebody over the phone or singing loudly along with FM in their cars and I smile..
I wonder how many of my such idiosyncrasies have been witnessed by others.. Have they seen me eating my breakfast while waiting for the light to turn green or applying lip balm that I frequently do or enjoying that piece of chocolate I have secretly hidden in my car or shouting abusives at a fellow careless driver..
Also on my rickshaw ride I feel the wind on my face, direct and so harsh that it manages to water my semi-opened eyes and yet I feel refreshed by it. I realize the worth of my car when I miss the hot air blowing at my feet from the blower and think how I would not have “really” enjoyed the winters without this experience..
I crib, I observe, I smile and I also laugh thinking of my Dad’s comment when I told him about my accident “ The world is certainly a safer place to live in with your car in the garage!!”
Its freezing cold outside at 8:15 am (yes, that’s when I leave my home) and I have to wrap myself from head to toe before I set a foot outside. I than need to walk for about 10 minutes before I finally manage to get a rick. Once on board, I am free to look around and observe but I can’t do that either for its all dusty and your eyes are at constant threat if you dare to open them before you reach the destination. Anyhow, I do manage to squint a bit and witness people doing funny things while they halt at the red light. I see people picking their nose, combing their hair, checking themselves in the rare view mirror, applying lipstick, shouting on somebody over the phone or singing loudly along with FM in their cars and I smile..
I wonder how many of my such idiosyncrasies have been witnessed by others.. Have they seen me eating my breakfast while waiting for the light to turn green or applying lip balm that I frequently do or enjoying that piece of chocolate I have secretly hidden in my car or shouting abusives at a fellow careless driver..
Also on my rickshaw ride I feel the wind on my face, direct and so harsh that it manages to water my semi-opened eyes and yet I feel refreshed by it. I realize the worth of my car when I miss the hot air blowing at my feet from the blower and think how I would not have “really” enjoyed the winters without this experience..
I crib, I observe, I smile and I also laugh thinking of my Dad’s comment when I told him about my accident “ The world is certainly a safer place to live in with your car in the garage!!”
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Growing old..
A conversation with G on his Birthday..
Me: Hey, Happy Birthday..
G: Thanks!!
Me: So whats happening?? What’ll you be doing??
G: Nothing much, will probably go out with family..
Me: Why, what happened to A, S and the rest of your friends??
G: Thay are all busy..
Me: Hmm.. Don’t worry you treat me when I come home..
G: Sure..
Me: So who else called??
G: Nobody really, just you and R..
Me: Ohhh..
G: Tell me something Sam, why do the number of calls on your Birthday decrease as you grow older??
Me: Hmm..
It was a normal Birthday kinda conversation and then suddenly with one line it changed into something else.. I began pondering on why the number of calls gradually declined once we grew older because as you grow old, you come across more people, increase your social circle.. You make some friends and lose a few but more or less its balanced..
Couldn’t figure that one out!!
Me: Hey, Happy Birthday..
G: Thanks!!
Me: So whats happening?? What’ll you be doing??
G: Nothing much, will probably go out with family..
Me: Why, what happened to A, S and the rest of your friends??
G: Thay are all busy..
Me: Hmm.. Don’t worry you treat me when I come home..
G: Sure..
Me: So who else called??
G: Nobody really, just you and R..
Me: Ohhh..
G: Tell me something Sam, why do the number of calls on your Birthday decrease as you grow older??
Me: Hmm..
It was a normal Birthday kinda conversation and then suddenly with one line it changed into something else.. I began pondering on why the number of calls gradually declined once we grew older because as you grow old, you come across more people, increase your social circle.. You make some friends and lose a few but more or less its balanced..
Couldn’t figure that one out!!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Wearing six yards something..
With my brother’s marriage approaching and I being the only unmarried/ un-engaged female in the family, get more than required attention from my parents and relatives. Right now the latest hue and cry is what I’d be wearing for the “D Day”…
After a lot of discussions, arguments and fights, the junta came to a common conclusion that a sari would be the ideal choice. I was duely called home for the weekend and taken all over the city to pick what I liked. Finally when we had all given up, we went to this last boutique where I found exactly that I wanted. It was a whitish-silverish thing that caught my attention right away.
Now the guy draped the sari on me. The end was tucked, the pleats folded and secured with a belt. The loose end was draped perfectly on my shoulder and I felt transformed. I thought I’d be all clumsy and funny, (considering the fact that I never wear a salwaar kameez, let alone a sari) but nothing like that happened. I felt more mature, more in command and unfortunately a little older too. The funny, confused kid had suddenly vanished and what I saw in the mirror was a new me.
There was a kind of adrenaline rush, a fear and I so wanted to cling on to my old self. Me, who couldn’t even carry a scarf properly and giggled at the stupidest of things was feeling all grown up. But I knew that something had changed, a change that though doesn’t come about by merely changing your clothes but probably by the way you begin to view yourself, with a different perspective, a different way..
After a lot of discussions, arguments and fights, the junta came to a common conclusion that a sari would be the ideal choice. I was duely called home for the weekend and taken all over the city to pick what I liked. Finally when we had all given up, we went to this last boutique where I found exactly that I wanted. It was a whitish-silverish thing that caught my attention right away.
Now the guy draped the sari on me. The end was tucked, the pleats folded and secured with a belt. The loose end was draped perfectly on my shoulder and I felt transformed. I thought I’d be all clumsy and funny, (considering the fact that I never wear a salwaar kameez, let alone a sari) but nothing like that happened. I felt more mature, more in command and unfortunately a little older too. The funny, confused kid had suddenly vanished and what I saw in the mirror was a new me.
There was a kind of adrenaline rush, a fear and I so wanted to cling on to my old self. Me, who couldn’t even carry a scarf properly and giggled at the stupidest of things was feeling all grown up. But I knew that something had changed, a change that though doesn’t come about by merely changing your clothes but probably by the way you begin to view yourself, with a different perspective, a different way..
Monday, January 07, 2008
Between them and me..
Lately I’ve been going through posts which repeatedly clarify how much the authors love their parents, friends, spouses.. No offense to them but initially I thought that it was quite sweet of them to do that but gradually when the pattern repeated itself I was forced to think otherwise. I don’t understand if they are trying to convince themselves or the world of their affection towards the loved ones..
I perceive these things in a different light altogether. For me, the people I love are taken for granted. It sounds pretty crude but then I feel all the things that are really important to us like sunshine or air are there for us all the time. We don’t get up every morning and say “thank God there’s sun today” because we know that we can rely on it to come out each day.
Likewise, I don’t tell my parents/ family/ friends how much I love them all the time because they are my family and friends and they’d better be there!! I usually let my actions do most of the talking, a big hug, a tiny peck, its usually gestures and actions for me.. Probably am not a very vocal person and don’t express myself explicitly but I know that they know and I guess that’s what eventually matters..
Anyhow, its to each his own!!
I perceive these things in a different light altogether. For me, the people I love are taken for granted. It sounds pretty crude but then I feel all the things that are really important to us like sunshine or air are there for us all the time. We don’t get up every morning and say “thank God there’s sun today” because we know that we can rely on it to come out each day.
Likewise, I don’t tell my parents/ family/ friends how much I love them all the time because they are my family and friends and they’d better be there!! I usually let my actions do most of the talking, a big hug, a tiny peck, its usually gestures and actions for me.. Probably am not a very vocal person and don’t express myself explicitly but I know that they know and I guess that’s what eventually matters..
Anyhow, its to each his own!!
Friday, January 04, 2008
Feeling good..
Winters always remind me of books, movies, everything larger than life, everything beautiful..
I drive down to work and often find myself imagining empty roads, good music and that beautiful white mist all around..Or when the work gets too hectic and life a little too confusing, I picture myself all curled up in a bean bag with a good book and hot tea..Walking down the road on a chilly morning with breeze on the face..thinking a zillion times before pouring that mug of water on my head..that hot water bottle on my feet..that accentuated smell of flowers in my room..
Winters do this to me..they rejuvenate me, make me happy about life and give me the strength to believe in the phrase: "All will be good"..
WINTERS..
I drive down to work and often find myself imagining empty roads, good music and that beautiful white mist all around..Or when the work gets too hectic and life a little too confusing, I picture myself all curled up in a bean bag with a good book and hot tea..Walking down the road on a chilly morning with breeze on the face..thinking a zillion times before pouring that mug of water on my head..that hot water bottle on my feet..that accentuated smell of flowers in my room..
Winters do this to me..they rejuvenate me, make me happy about life and give me the strength to believe in the phrase: "All will be good"..
WINTERS..
Monday, December 31, 2007
Of wanting to end it on a happy note..
An end of another year,
..of memories, happiness and some regrets too..
A new begginning,
..hopefully to a great future!!
P.S: Happy New Year to all!! :)
..of memories, happiness and some regrets too..
A new begginning,
..hopefully to a great future!!
P.S: Happy New Year to all!! :)
Monday, December 24, 2007
Vanished..
They were disappearing one by one..
Till the last of them vanished..
A clue to give in..
A clue to not look back and be sad,
But cherish what there ever was..
And yet there is hope..
Till the last of them vanished..
A clue to give in..
A clue to not look back and be sad,
But cherish what there ever was..
And yet there is hope..
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Wishing I could do more..
I work as a buyer for one of the biggest footwear firms in the country. The enormity of the above sentence struck me on my last visit to Kolkata. I, for the first time realized the power I held and how the fate of a few hundreds depended upon the decisions I took, the mistakes I committed and the feeling was far from making me feel good!!
I work with a wide array of businessmen, some who have been into shoe making for years and yet others who’ve just begun. They have invested so much of themselves into it, both financially and emotionally and it breaks my heart when I have to cancel orders, reject supplies, and basically do all the dirty work…
I met this young man who has been trying very hard to work things out with us, giving us the best prices possible, sampling footwear for us like crazy but unfortunately he goofed up in production and we had to stop it. It was so disheartening to see his factory almost empty and being the one responsible for its state, even to an extent..
Another is this old guy who has been working with us for past 28 years and does the basic, low priced chappals. I went to meet him and he told me how for the first time in all these years his factory has been shut down due to lack of work. I felt like burying myself right there but at times you are nothing but helpless. I can’t buy products which are not selling so I decide to give them new designs, get them developed and pray that they will sell, both for them and for my conscience sake..
Now I fully understand the meaning of the phrase “with power comes responsibility” and I don’t like the sound of any of it!!
I work with a wide array of businessmen, some who have been into shoe making for years and yet others who’ve just begun. They have invested so much of themselves into it, both financially and emotionally and it breaks my heart when I have to cancel orders, reject supplies, and basically do all the dirty work…
I met this young man who has been trying very hard to work things out with us, giving us the best prices possible, sampling footwear for us like crazy but unfortunately he goofed up in production and we had to stop it. It was so disheartening to see his factory almost empty and being the one responsible for its state, even to an extent..
Another is this old guy who has been working with us for past 28 years and does the basic, low priced chappals. I went to meet him and he told me how for the first time in all these years his factory has been shut down due to lack of work. I felt like burying myself right there but at times you are nothing but helpless. I can’t buy products which are not selling so I decide to give them new designs, get them developed and pray that they will sell, both for them and for my conscience sake..
Now I fully understand the meaning of the phrase “with power comes responsibility” and I don’t like the sound of any of it!!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Funsake..
| You are a Brainy Girl! |
 You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either! |
You Are a Coy Flirt! |
 You're not so much a flirt as the type of girl who draws flirts in While you look like you're just relaxing, secretly you've got your game on A little look here, a little wink there... you give men the encouragement they crave And in return, they flirt up a storm with you - while you just sit and smile |
Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer |
 For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that's not in guidebooks. You truly have wanderlust. When you're not traveling, you're dreaming about where you'll go next. And your travels are truly legendary - they leave you with stories you'll be telling for the rest of your life! |
You are White Chocolate |
 You are White Chocolate You are sweet, caring, and truly very innocent.Whether your naive ways are a bit of act or not, people like to take care of you. You are a quiet flirt, and your power is often underestimated! |
Time passing at: www.blogthings.com
Monday, December 10, 2007
And thats how its done.
Took up this one from J ...on discovering, tagging, blogging, commenting... Don't know how many tags I've done until now but anyways, here it goes:
BLOGGING: Was introduced to it by a friend about an year ago and when I begin to reason why I blog, am left with the following answers:
- I began because I wanted to maintain that standard of English (though there's not much to "maintain") for I believe that by stopping to write, one forgets the appropriate words to express themselves.
- I love to write; find it easier penning my thoughts on paper, reasoning out things than talking it out.
- Reading what others think about issues, getting various perspectives, learning new things fascinates me.
- After being here, I've realised that certain emotions I feel are not mine alone and that I got company!! :)
- Met some amazing people here to whose writings I always look forward to...
DISCOVERY: Refer to "blogging", pretty much covers it all..
COMMENTING: I love to read, be it about an issue, something funny, anything arbit, basically anything at all. And on reading, if I like it or I don't like it, I choose to speak out..
Am done with another tag and it just hit me that my tags are beginning to make just a little sense after all..
The tag's passed on to anyone who chooses to take it.
BLOGGING: Was introduced to it by a friend about an year ago and when I begin to reason why I blog, am left with the following answers:
- I began because I wanted to maintain that standard of English (though there's not much to "maintain") for I believe that by stopping to write, one forgets the appropriate words to express themselves.
- I love to write; find it easier penning my thoughts on paper, reasoning out things than talking it out.
- Reading what others think about issues, getting various perspectives, learning new things fascinates me.
- After being here, I've realised that certain emotions I feel are not mine alone and that I got company!! :)
- Met some amazing people here to whose writings I always look forward to...
DISCOVERY: Refer to "blogging", pretty much covers it all..
COMMENTING: I love to read, be it about an issue, something funny, anything arbit, basically anything at all. And on reading, if I like it or I don't like it, I choose to speak out..
Am done with another tag and it just hit me that my tags are beginning to make just a little sense after all..
The tag's passed on to anyone who chooses to take it.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
A random discussion, a funny discovery..
This conversation with a male friend of mine began with the usual topic: girls!! He was telling me how these nice, intelligent females were all taken by the so called “studds”, forcing me to bully him saying that why didn’t he get one then… he was in a confessional mood and admitted that these dudes were a class apart. Basically they were par excellence at everything: academically, socially, sports, theatre, you just had to name it.
My comment that such people, through extremely intelligent often saw professional failures made me realize a thing or two in the due course. Reasoning began: the logic behind the theory was that such people, wherever they went, found the work, the place and the people below their standards (no fault of theirs!!). Being of a much higher I.Q, the scope of learning and growth were limited compared to us mere mortals who struggle each day even for the completion of the smallest tasks and felt great sense of achievement when our boss appreciates it.
This friend contributed too. He told me that with him in IIT, there was this guy, an all India JEE high ranker, in short BRILLIANT!! Post college, he appeared for CATs and the only preparation done by him was to fill his form. Success again: he got through all the IIMs and chose Bangalore. This gentleman then interned at one of the most reputable finance firms in the world and was given a job offer; he declined it and joined a consultancy firm only to quit in the coming four months. The dude has been sitting idle for past year and a half!!
For the first time in my life I realize that I’m blessed with lesser I.Q. At times, it takes ages for me to understand things, I goof up, make a zillion mistakes and ask even more questions but I work hard and learn and appreciate a day well gone after that tiny pat on my back from my boss…
My comment that such people, through extremely intelligent often saw professional failures made me realize a thing or two in the due course. Reasoning began: the logic behind the theory was that such people, wherever they went, found the work, the place and the people below their standards (no fault of theirs!!). Being of a much higher I.Q, the scope of learning and growth were limited compared to us mere mortals who struggle each day even for the completion of the smallest tasks and felt great sense of achievement when our boss appreciates it.
This friend contributed too. He told me that with him in IIT, there was this guy, an all India JEE high ranker, in short BRILLIANT!! Post college, he appeared for CATs and the only preparation done by him was to fill his form. Success again: he got through all the IIMs and chose Bangalore. This gentleman then interned at one of the most reputable finance firms in the world and was given a job offer; he declined it and joined a consultancy firm only to quit in the coming four months. The dude has been sitting idle for past year and a half!!
For the first time in my life I realize that I’m blessed with lesser I.Q. At times, it takes ages for me to understand things, I goof up, make a zillion mistakes and ask even more questions but I work hard and learn and appreciate a day well gone after that tiny pat on my back from my boss…
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
The BIG deal about getting married..
Being off age and obviously being surrounded by people of the similar age bracket, a lot of my friends/ relatives are getting fixed for marriage. And man, the moment they realize that soon the knot will be tied, they begin to behave strangely. Here are a few examples of the temporary lapse of mental abilities I’ve noticed in people:
- A friend of mine began drinking every evening and smoking heavily. Once upon a time, he was a sane fellow and resorted to stuff once in a while.
- This girl friend I have did smoke earlier on but quit. She said that soon she’ll be married and have a family and smoking would not be good for it all and I so respected her for behaving so mature. A month ago she got fixed and since then has been smoking everyday, says soon she’ll be married and won’t be able to do it anymore. What was the point quitting anyways??
- Another relative who’ll soon be in-the-loop is an example I must put here. During college, this bloke was into smoking, drinking, wrong company and ate non vegetarian food, infact loved it (I DO NOT see any harm in that, so all the carnivores, no offense intended, just read on!!). Then he suddenly grew up when he moved out of town (another classic, people “get into” such stuff after leaving home) and quit everything to the point of stop eating even egg. He got into yoga, meditation, even fasting once a week. To present: he’s slowly getting back to it all!!
I’ve begun to wonder what actually does happen to people?? Are they happy/ sad or scared of the prospect and if any of the latter two, why go for it until you aren’t ready… I’ve heard that the prospect of losing their freedom freaks them out and if I begin to think on those lines, I wouldn’t get married ever because not being free scares the shit out of me. I wonder does it actually happen that you get bound post marriage or does it become a taboo to have fun?
But the question that on top of my mind is : “Will I too become paranoid and indulge into idiotic things when it happens to me??
- A friend of mine began drinking every evening and smoking heavily. Once upon a time, he was a sane fellow and resorted to stuff once in a while.
- This girl friend I have did smoke earlier on but quit. She said that soon she’ll be married and have a family and smoking would not be good for it all and I so respected her for behaving so mature. A month ago she got fixed and since then has been smoking everyday, says soon she’ll be married and won’t be able to do it anymore. What was the point quitting anyways??
- Another relative who’ll soon be in-the-loop is an example I must put here. During college, this bloke was into smoking, drinking, wrong company and ate non vegetarian food, infact loved it (I DO NOT see any harm in that, so all the carnivores, no offense intended, just read on!!). Then he suddenly grew up when he moved out of town (another classic, people “get into” such stuff after leaving home) and quit everything to the point of stop eating even egg. He got into yoga, meditation, even fasting once a week. To present: he’s slowly getting back to it all!!
I’ve begun to wonder what actually does happen to people?? Are they happy/ sad or scared of the prospect and if any of the latter two, why go for it until you aren’t ready… I’ve heard that the prospect of losing their freedom freaks them out and if I begin to think on those lines, I wouldn’t get married ever because not being free scares the shit out of me. I wonder does it actually happen that you get bound post marriage or does it become a taboo to have fun?
But the question that on top of my mind is : “Will I too become paranoid and indulge into idiotic things when it happens to me??
Monday, November 26, 2007
Happens..
And then it all comes back,
The times shared,
Moments spent,
Life lived...
And you relive it all in your head and wish...
The times shared,
Moments spent,
Life lived...
And you relive it all in your head and wish...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Of questions,answers and confusions too...
Yesterday after the shoeline presentation, which surprisingly went pretty well, we attended this seminar called “How to gain Self Confidence- Amazing Secrets to boost your Confidence” by an outside speaker Mr. Rajiv Mathur.
He began the session with a prayer and requested us all to close our eyes and kind of meditate (which by the way I didn’t do). Being primarily a session aimed at motivating marketing personnel, the talk revolved around those areas. The topics mainly discussed were Self Growth, Positive thinking and Risk Taking and having heard the same for a zillion times and not belonging to the marketing division, the discussion failed to impress me much. However, being the only female in a crowd of forty did not give me that privilege of not concentrating as the speaker’s and my bosses eyes often sought mine amidst any discussion.
Although I give due credit to the presenter, the session was a drag. One of a very senior person in my office and few of the people I actually respect, Mr. Anant Ranjan’s contribution was however impossible to ignore. Two of the things he said were:
- While discussing why our company was not performing as well in contrast to others, inspite of having the biggest infrastructure, distribution and networking in India, Mr. Ranjan said “ours is like Gulliver (from Gulliver’s Travels) and these small firms have tied us down. Now its upto us to realize our strengths, break those shackles and rise again.” Funnily enough I quite liked the comparison and remember it in that state of semi consciousness.
- Another input by him while discussing how to bring out that hidden potential in an employee was “a job either brings out the BEST or the BEAST in you, the difference is just of an ‘A’”.
I thankfully left the conference mid-way inspite of his superb comments but there are a few things that I gathered from it. I understood that though I did like what Mr. Ranjan said but at times you cannot figure out why. Am in process of finding that answer for myself…
He began the session with a prayer and requested us all to close our eyes and kind of meditate (which by the way I didn’t do). Being primarily a session aimed at motivating marketing personnel, the talk revolved around those areas. The topics mainly discussed were Self Growth, Positive thinking and Risk Taking and having heard the same for a zillion times and not belonging to the marketing division, the discussion failed to impress me much. However, being the only female in a crowd of forty did not give me that privilege of not concentrating as the speaker’s and my bosses eyes often sought mine amidst any discussion.
Although I give due credit to the presenter, the session was a drag. One of a very senior person in my office and few of the people I actually respect, Mr. Anant Ranjan’s contribution was however impossible to ignore. Two of the things he said were:
- While discussing why our company was not performing as well in contrast to others, inspite of having the biggest infrastructure, distribution and networking in India, Mr. Ranjan said “ours is like Gulliver (from Gulliver’s Travels) and these small firms have tied us down. Now its upto us to realize our strengths, break those shackles and rise again.” Funnily enough I quite liked the comparison and remember it in that state of semi consciousness.
- Another input by him while discussing how to bring out that hidden potential in an employee was “a job either brings out the BEST or the BEAST in you, the difference is just of an ‘A’”.
I thankfully left the conference mid-way inspite of his superb comments but there are a few things that I gathered from it. I understood that though I did like what Mr. Ranjan said but at times you cannot figure out why. Am in process of finding that answer for myself…
Monday, November 19, 2007
The irony of it all!!
People change...
Feelings change...
But surprisingly enough, the words remain the same!!
Feelings change...
But surprisingly enough, the words remain the same!!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Issues...
- 7:00 am every morning: The alarm buzzes and I get up from my warm bed, put it off and go back to sleep…
- 8:00 am: The maid knocks the door; I open it and crawl back into my bed for that 5 minute, ever precious sleep.
- 8:10 am: I get up with a jolt, realize that those five minutes have stretched upto ten and I really really need to rush to be in the office at 9:00 am.
- 8:55 am: 5 minutes to go and am tying my shoe laces, shoving my breakfast of fruit into a paper bag and giving instructions to my maid, all simultaneously!!
- 9:00 am: Am in my car and driving like a woman possessed who’s trying to break some kind of record of commuting from DLF to the Bata building, with the heavy morning traffic and the metro work in progress, in 7 minutes flat. And yay!! I do it every time…
- 8:30 pm: Am still at work and trying to figure out how would I ever manage to buy that pair of jeans I so desperately need (have been wearing this one for almost two weeks now, with one in laundry and the other one LOST!! plus umpteen whose fit I don’t like anymore... sigh...)
- 8:35 pm: Realise that I just have to get that jeans, it’s a question of life and death now and I simply cannot wear this anymore. Again my drive takes me to the malls.
- 8:45 pm: Am soo lucky!! The Levis store is open and I manage to grab a pair only to realize that I fit into one size larger than the one am wearing. Hell freezes and I complain to the salesman; he gives me crap like it’s a slim fit and hence the size variation. Although its some consolation but then, what crap!! Give me the fit I already wear but phuleese make me fit into the previous size… I decide to go on a diet. Period.
-9:15 pm: My flatmate joins me and we happily go to the food court and hog on the oohhh so delicious pasta.
Back to point 1: Did any of you try wondering why the hell do I set my alarm for 7.00 am everyday when I have to get up only after 8:00?? Well, every single evening, post dinner I realize how much weight I’ve put on and pledge to go for a run in the morning. But then those sleep devils coax me into that just-a-five-minute sleep and I happily give in to the temptation: yet again!!
- 8:00 am: The maid knocks the door; I open it and crawl back into my bed for that 5 minute, ever precious sleep.
- 8:10 am: I get up with a jolt, realize that those five minutes have stretched upto ten and I really really need to rush to be in the office at 9:00 am.
- 8:55 am: 5 minutes to go and am tying my shoe laces, shoving my breakfast of fruit into a paper bag and giving instructions to my maid, all simultaneously!!
- 9:00 am: Am in my car and driving like a woman possessed who’s trying to break some kind of record of commuting from DLF to the Bata building, with the heavy morning traffic and the metro work in progress, in 7 minutes flat. And yay!! I do it every time…
- 8:30 pm: Am still at work and trying to figure out how would I ever manage to buy that pair of jeans I so desperately need (have been wearing this one for almost two weeks now, with one in laundry and the other one LOST!! plus umpteen whose fit I don’t like anymore... sigh...)
- 8:35 pm: Realise that I just have to get that jeans, it’s a question of life and death now and I simply cannot wear this anymore. Again my drive takes me to the malls.
- 8:45 pm: Am soo lucky!! The Levis store is open and I manage to grab a pair only to realize that I fit into one size larger than the one am wearing. Hell freezes and I complain to the salesman; he gives me crap like it’s a slim fit and hence the size variation. Although its some consolation but then, what crap!! Give me the fit I already wear but phuleese make me fit into the previous size… I decide to go on a diet. Period.
-9:15 pm: My flatmate joins me and we happily go to the food court and hog on the oohhh so delicious pasta.
Back to point 1: Did any of you try wondering why the hell do I set my alarm for 7.00 am everyday when I have to get up only after 8:00?? Well, every single evening, post dinner I realize how much weight I’ve put on and pledge to go for a run in the morning. But then those sleep devils coax me into that just-a-five-minute sleep and I happily give in to the temptation: yet again!!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tags and some more..
Well, here I take a tag again to fill that blog vaccum... Somehow lately I haven't been able to think of anything worthy enough of a post so the tag shall have to do. I was tagged by Memyself_n_I and here it goes:
-Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it:I have a tiny scar just above my right eye, got it as a child while playing don't know what.
- What does your phone look like? My phone, well I use a Reliance so don't have much of a choice... Got a Nokia 6265 and now I don't even know why I invested into such an expensive cellphone (according to my standards), hardly use any of its functions!! :(
- What is on the walls of your bedroom? Well nothing at all, I am a minimalist. ;)
- What is your current desktop picture? You all know whats on my PC at work, my laptop has this picture of my best friend and me in Goa!! :D
Will this ever end?? Whewww...
- Do you believe in gay marriage? Totally, its absolutely individual and I respect it.
- What do you want more than anything right now? Leave my current job...just run away!!
- Are your parents still together? Yes.
- Last person who made you cry? Some jerk I don't even want to mention here.
- What is your favorite perfume/cologne? Gucci/ Lacoste
- What are you listening to? Nothing, my office doesn't permit people enjoying their work, though am humming Lemon Tree.. :)
Why am I writing this?? Does it make any difference at all??
- Do you get scared of the dark? Nope, not at all, woudn't survive in Gurgaon otherwise..
- Do you like pain killers? Whaaaa?? Who began this tag anyways?
- If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? Nothing, just had a chocolate, all to myself.. ;)
- Who was the last person who made you mad? This colleague of mine who has a major attitude problem.
- Who was the last person who made you smile? Am mad, at times I smile for no obvious reasons, but well, here I'll give it to S.
- Is someone in love with you? Yep..think so.. ;)
Yay!! I did it!! And now it my turn to do the honours. So the tag goes to Sangfroid, Adi Crazy, Ani and Sreejith plus whoever wants to take it up..Till then!! :)
-Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it:I have a tiny scar just above my right eye, got it as a child while playing don't know what.
- What does your phone look like? My phone, well I use a Reliance so don't have much of a choice... Got a Nokia 6265 and now I don't even know why I invested into such an expensive cellphone (according to my standards), hardly use any of its functions!! :(
- What is on the walls of your bedroom? Well nothing at all, I am a minimalist. ;)
- What is your current desktop picture? You all know whats on my PC at work, my laptop has this picture of my best friend and me in Goa!! :D
Will this ever end?? Whewww...
- Do you believe in gay marriage? Totally, its absolutely individual and I respect it.
- What do you want more than anything right now? Leave my current job...just run away!!
- Are your parents still together? Yes.
- Last person who made you cry? Some jerk I don't even want to mention here.
- What is your favorite perfume/cologne? Gucci/ Lacoste
- What are you listening to? Nothing, my office doesn't permit people enjoying their work, though am humming Lemon Tree.. :)
Why am I writing this?? Does it make any difference at all??
- Do you get scared of the dark? Nope, not at all, woudn't survive in Gurgaon otherwise..
- Do you like pain killers? Whaaaa?? Who began this tag anyways?
- If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? Nothing, just had a chocolate, all to myself.. ;)
- Who was the last person who made you mad? This colleague of mine who has a major attitude problem.
- Who was the last person who made you smile? Am mad, at times I smile for no obvious reasons, but well, here I'll give it to S.
- Is someone in love with you? Yep..think so.. ;)
Yay!! I did it!! And now it my turn to do the honours. So the tag goes to Sangfroid, Adi Crazy, Ani and Sreejith plus whoever wants to take it up..Till then!! :)
Thursday, November 01, 2007
My feel good factors.
- Reading a good book with a hot chai during rains.
- Driving back home from work after a particulary hectic day...good music, empty roads.
- Hanging out with friends and laughing your lungs out for no apparent reason.
- Having a heart to heart with an old friend after a long time.
- My family laughing at the of stupidest jokes I crack...
- Eating good food at a nice, quiet place, surrounded by people you want to be with.
- Feeling the sun on your face on a cold, winter morning..
- The spitter splatter of rains...
- Being nasty and getting away with things that my male friends can't, just by giving your best smile.
- Those very brief crushes..
- Getting up in the morning, being all ready for work and then bunking it, just for a two hour sleep!!
- Watching my niece and nephews grow up.
- Coming across an old mail, note with memories attached to them..
- Getting goose bumps on watching a very romantic movie.
- Discussing good old college days.
- Freedom...
- Driving back home from work after a particulary hectic day...good music, empty roads.
- Hanging out with friends and laughing your lungs out for no apparent reason.
- Having a heart to heart with an old friend after a long time.
- My family laughing at the of stupidest jokes I crack...
- Eating good food at a nice, quiet place, surrounded by people you want to be with.
- Feeling the sun on your face on a cold, winter morning..
- The spitter splatter of rains...
- Being nasty and getting away with things that my male friends can't, just by giving your best smile.
- Those very brief crushes..
- Getting up in the morning, being all ready for work and then bunking it, just for a two hour sleep!!
- Watching my niece and nephews grow up.
- Coming across an old mail, note with memories attached to them..
- Getting goose bumps on watching a very romantic movie.
- Discussing good old college days.
- Freedom...
Monday, October 29, 2007
Am sad... :'(
N moved out today,
Hadn't realised till now how important she was,
Already missing her lots!! :(
Hadn't realised till now how important she was,
Already missing her lots!! :(
Thursday, October 25, 2007
The Ball Syndrome!!
Being in the work scene for three years now, I had just heard about female exploitation, but now being on the receiving end, I exactly know what its like…
I am sooo mad at people here!! A series of events in my office made me witness what I just saw in movies or heard from other people. How the “weaker gender” used their feminism to rise at work… Mine is an MNC and primarily comprises of middle-aged men in their late 40s, staying away from home while the top management constitutes of foreigners, again away from their families. Being on the top level plus being a ‘firang” gives them that added advantage of getting away with things on the pretext of being liberal, unlike us Indians…
The first incident happened at this meeting where we presented our collection to one of the senior guys. He is an Italian guy in his late 40s or 50s. He made this female stand on the display table before about thirty people saying that he wanted to see the look of a particular footwear design on the feet. The female was more than happy to oblige and get all the attention even with people passing remarks and spreading their arms and asking her to fall, she was all smiling and laughing… Was that attitude alright or am I the only one who’s seeing things out of proportion??
A few days ago, in another meeting, I took a step behind to give this senior guy space to walk. By chance my shoulder just brushes mildly to the rack behind, “not hurting” me at all. That a****** has the audacity to rub my shoulder…It’s a probability that he’d have thought that I might have hurt myself, but I believe that every girl recognizes a touch, the intention behind it and I felt disgusted. All I could do was shrug his hand and give him the coldest, dirtiest look possible…
Towards the end of it, I am confused. I don’t know whether its the men who suffer from the so called “ball syndrome” to be blamed or the females who do let them take that kind of advantage.. But one thing is for sure, its soon going to be bye-bye time for me (hopefully)!!
I am sooo mad at people here!! A series of events in my office made me witness what I just saw in movies or heard from other people. How the “weaker gender” used their feminism to rise at work… Mine is an MNC and primarily comprises of middle-aged men in their late 40s, staying away from home while the top management constitutes of foreigners, again away from their families. Being on the top level plus being a ‘firang” gives them that added advantage of getting away with things on the pretext of being liberal, unlike us Indians…
The first incident happened at this meeting where we presented our collection to one of the senior guys. He is an Italian guy in his late 40s or 50s. He made this female stand on the display table before about thirty people saying that he wanted to see the look of a particular footwear design on the feet. The female was more than happy to oblige and get all the attention even with people passing remarks and spreading their arms and asking her to fall, she was all smiling and laughing… Was that attitude alright or am I the only one who’s seeing things out of proportion??
A few days ago, in another meeting, I took a step behind to give this senior guy space to walk. By chance my shoulder just brushes mildly to the rack behind, “not hurting” me at all. That a****** has the audacity to rub my shoulder…It’s a probability that he’d have thought that I might have hurt myself, but I believe that every girl recognizes a touch, the intention behind it and I felt disgusted. All I could do was shrug his hand and give him the coldest, dirtiest look possible…
Towards the end of it, I am confused. I don’t know whether its the men who suffer from the so called “ball syndrome” to be blamed or the females who do let them take that kind of advantage.. But one thing is for sure, its soon going to be bye-bye time for me (hopefully)!!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Soulmates...
Long time ago I had this discussion with a friend about the concept of "Soulmates"... Although I am not a very romantic person but somewhere I do believe in it, I do believe that once in your lifetime you do find a person whose perfect for you, with all his/her imperfections...
It may be your friend or the one you love or even a person you barely know but you find that strange connection with him/her which exists with nobody else. You find yourself drawn to that person, you may love him or even hate him, you may or may not get to be with him but the connection is almost tangible...the pain of being away unexplainable.
You may not be in touch with that someone for ages, infact never be able to talk at all but the bond exists, in your heart, in your mind...and suprisingly, even that seems enough...
It may be your friend or the one you love or even a person you barely know but you find that strange connection with him/her which exists with nobody else. You find yourself drawn to that person, you may love him or even hate him, you may or may not get to be with him but the connection is almost tangible...the pain of being away unexplainable.
You may not be in touch with that someone for ages, infact never be able to talk at all but the bond exists, in your heart, in your mind...and suprisingly, even that seems enough...
Monday, October 15, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
My latest wishlist..
I am at work right now and thats the last thing I want to do... So here I end up reading everyone's posts on my blogroll and wishing that:
- I could get a week off, go back home, get pampered, read a lot, sleep, eat good food and not worry about getting back to work the next day.
- Saturday would come sooner, I take an off this time!! :)
- N would find a job in Gurgaon and wouldn't have to move out of the house...
- I get super powers and remember all the figures am supposed to memorise every week... :(
- My boss would begin to like me just a teeni-tiny bit!!
- I could meet my parents.
- Meet all my friends from school (+2) OR college (NIFT/IIT), hang out with them, have fun like the good old days...
- Shop till I die... ;)
- Decide whether I should go for hair straightening or not!!
- Collect money soon enough to buy my Dad that laptop I've been saving up for.
- Both my categories would show sky rocketing profits!! Lol.. I've lost it completely... ;)
Thats it!! Before starting to write this one, I thought I'd have a long list but surprisingly I finished pretty quickly..sigh!! Now I can peacefully get back to work and stop feeling guilty of wasting time!! ;)
- I could get a week off, go back home, get pampered, read a lot, sleep, eat good food and not worry about getting back to work the next day.
- Saturday would come sooner, I take an off this time!! :)
- N would find a job in Gurgaon and wouldn't have to move out of the house...
- I get super powers and remember all the figures am supposed to memorise every week... :(
- My boss would begin to like me just a teeni-tiny bit!!
- I could meet my parents.
- Meet all my friends from school (+2) OR college (NIFT/IIT), hang out with them, have fun like the good old days...
- Shop till I die... ;)
- Decide whether I should go for hair straightening or not!!
- Collect money soon enough to buy my Dad that laptop I've been saving up for.
- Both my categories would show sky rocketing profits!! Lol.. I've lost it completely... ;)
Thats it!! Before starting to write this one, I thought I'd have a long list but surprisingly I finished pretty quickly..sigh!! Now I can peacefully get back to work and stop feeling guilty of wasting time!! ;)
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Tagging for fun!! :)
Although I am not particulary fond of tags, took up Rajeev's to fill that vacum in blogging. Its simple, easy and fun!! :) Plus, I've had a particularly tensed day at work and blogging seemed approriate to calm my jittery nerves..
This screen shot is that of my PC at work (now you guys can very well imagine how vela I am here!!) ;) I like my desktop uncluttered hence so much of free space..
Anyone willing to take up this tag can, but please let me know, it would be fun taking a peek other spaces too!! :)
This screen shot is that of my PC at work (now you guys can very well imagine how vela I am here!!) ;) I like my desktop uncluttered hence so much of free space..
Anyone willing to take up this tag can, but please let me know, it would be fun taking a peek other spaces too!! :)
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The one where Papa came to meet me...
Yesterday turned out to be a delightful one for me. My Dad was in Delhi for work and after much difficulty and a lot of planning we managed to get together yesterday. I've been out for about 8 years now and unfortunately my parents have never visited me once, be it college or the places I have worked at. Its not that they don't care, its plain curcumstances... At times I was too busy with work and then there would be something or the other happening back home. And then I love them for trusting me to take care of myself!!
Anyways, my Dad came home and I showed him around my place, which he did find quite impressive. One feat accomplished as he hates unkept places, is quite finicky about cleaniness ( a trait I've inherited too), and to match his standards of living are kind of an immpossibility, success again.. ;) Papa noticed the lack of television at my place and so now am a proud owner of Sony Wega 21 inches set!! :)
We proceded on to have lunch and for once my brains worked faster than my mouth and I slipped my debit card before the bill came, to the waiter without my Dad noticing. He was so proud that I'd managed to pay a 500 bucks bill, basically treat him that he was smiling ear to ear, the fact that he'd just got me a 10K television set went totally unnoticed...
We can't seem to stop when we begin talking and its always nice of him to take my side when asking for an opinion, even though I am wrong!! :D So after chatting with him, telling him even the tiniest details of my life, and making jelly of my poor Dad's brains, I was duely dropped home as he had to rush back and those few hours with Papa were so much fun... However I bunked work (had promised to be there post lunch) as I was feeling too nostalgic and missing Ma and Papa...
Currently I feel like the most pampered daughter in the world and thinking of how ammazing my parents are, I forget all my blues. Till I have them by my side, all will be fine...
Anyways, my Dad came home and I showed him around my place, which he did find quite impressive. One feat accomplished as he hates unkept places, is quite finicky about cleaniness ( a trait I've inherited too), and to match his standards of living are kind of an immpossibility, success again.. ;) Papa noticed the lack of television at my place and so now am a proud owner of Sony Wega 21 inches set!! :)
We proceded on to have lunch and for once my brains worked faster than my mouth and I slipped my debit card before the bill came, to the waiter without my Dad noticing. He was so proud that I'd managed to pay a 500 bucks bill, basically treat him that he was smiling ear to ear, the fact that he'd just got me a 10K television set went totally unnoticed...
We can't seem to stop when we begin talking and its always nice of him to take my side when asking for an opinion, even though I am wrong!! :D So after chatting with him, telling him even the tiniest details of my life, and making jelly of my poor Dad's brains, I was duely dropped home as he had to rush back and those few hours with Papa were so much fun... However I bunked work (had promised to be there post lunch) as I was feeling too nostalgic and missing Ma and Papa...
Currently I feel like the most pampered daughter in the world and thinking of how ammazing my parents are, I forget all my blues. Till I have them by my side, all will be fine...
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Of Realisations and Insight...
I haven't been able to post anything for sometime now and its getting to me. The work pressure is tremendous and by the end of the day am so drained that can't seem to come up with anything though I do manage to visit and comment on others blogs which is some solace.
Anyways, lots been happening with me, some more realisations, a little more insight... For once I realised what a bad judge of character I was. I know this someone for years and never understood how two faceted he/she was...whats a person without honesty, without integrity enough to stand by what one has done instead of shoving the blame on someone else??
One of my friends/ colleagues pointed out that I came across as an arrogant person, a person with airs about herself on the first meeting. I verified it with a few of my closest friend and they agreed to it which was quite surprising. Yeah, I would say that I am slightly reserved initially, I do have my inhibitions when I first meet someone but they wander off as quickly...Something wrong being a little cautious??
In a jiffy right now, just had to post the above... shit, am so confused!! Better post next time..
Anyways, lots been happening with me, some more realisations, a little more insight... For once I realised what a bad judge of character I was. I know this someone for years and never understood how two faceted he/she was...whats a person without honesty, without integrity enough to stand by what one has done instead of shoving the blame on someone else??
One of my friends/ colleagues pointed out that I came across as an arrogant person, a person with airs about herself on the first meeting. I verified it with a few of my closest friend and they agreed to it which was quite surprising. Yeah, I would say that I am slightly reserved initially, I do have my inhibitions when I first meet someone but they wander off as quickly...Something wrong being a little cautious??
In a jiffy right now, just had to post the above... shit, am so confused!! Better post next time..
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thats it!!
Am at the end of my tether, can't take it anymore..its all goofed up: personally and professionally...
And here I crib again!!
And here I crib again!!
Friday, September 14, 2007
Not a penny less..
Mr. Bully was in a comparitively better mood today..sigh!! (I've begun judging how my day went, by his moods now!!). Anyways, somehow managed to extract information about filling the incentive format and if I manage to do it right, I get richer by a few grands!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Been tagged!!
Here are the rules:
- Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
- When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
- At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
- Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.
Got tagged by Ani/ Akanksha and taking a clue from them, this is what I have to pitch in…
Middle name: GOOFER!!
G- “Goofer” that’s what I am. I have to do something mundane out of any task: In kitchen, I drop anything which am holding firmly enough, at work I mess up with digits (interchange them!!) and at home I forget to do the simplest of things..
O- “O” is probably one of my favorite shapes. I find this form very appealing, friendly… It gives me the feeling that its unbiased as it doesn’t point in any direction in particular. (Am I mad??) :P
O- Oohhmmm… an expression I resort to get out of any sticky situations/ to handle various adequate reaction problems/ when I know admitting the truth would be committing suicide.
F- Freedom!! That’s the essence of my life… I need freedom to work, to live, to be…
E- Easy going... I am , totally!!
R- Romantic…just a lil bit!! ;)
Thankfully, Ani and Akanksha tagged me together so I had to do just one… :P. Its actually a little painful writing tags (but if I had to, so will the rest!! mean me..) and I shall pass it on to
- Aparna
- Madhatter
- Sharddha.
The rest have already gone through the ordeal..
- Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
- When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
- At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
- Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.
Got tagged by Ani/ Akanksha and taking a clue from them, this is what I have to pitch in…
Middle name: GOOFER!!
G- “Goofer” that’s what I am. I have to do something mundane out of any task: In kitchen, I drop anything which am holding firmly enough, at work I mess up with digits (interchange them!!) and at home I forget to do the simplest of things..
O- “O” is probably one of my favorite shapes. I find this form very appealing, friendly… It gives me the feeling that its unbiased as it doesn’t point in any direction in particular. (Am I mad??) :P
O- Oohhmmm… an expression I resort to get out of any sticky situations/ to handle various adequate reaction problems/ when I know admitting the truth would be committing suicide.
F- Freedom!! That’s the essence of my life… I need freedom to work, to live, to be…
E- Easy going... I am , totally!!
R- Romantic…just a lil bit!! ;)
Thankfully, Ani and Akanksha tagged me together so I had to do just one… :P. Its actually a little painful writing tags (but if I had to, so will the rest!! mean me..) and I shall pass it on to
- Aparna
- Madhatter
- Sharddha.
The rest have already gone through the ordeal..
Monday, September 10, 2007
A post long overdue..
In college, we were a group of 7 girls and each was a character in her own right.We stuck together all the time and someone even nicknamed us as the “seven sparrows”!! You see one and would be sure that the rest six are somewhere in the vicinity. However, the shining star of our set was (and mind you, still is) “G”. She’s exclusive, the most famous one, our very own social butterfly… Now “G” being all renowned and stuff, had quotes without which the history of our group remains incomplete.
So this one goes to “G”: THE STAR!! :
- Ladkiyon…blah blah.. (That’s how we got addressed as!!).
- I am seriously serious guys… (She’s trying to make a point here..).
- Oye ladki!! (Individual addressing lingo..).
- “Everyone knows “G” in NIFT” (this ones true!!)
- ME: What are you doing?
G: Rangoli bana rahi hoon!! We had this conversation every morning while sitting in adjacent loos in the hostel !! (am soooo dead!!) ;)
- Life sudharo… (Her constant effort at improving our state of minds/ lifestyles, which she thinks is totally distrupted).
- G’s definition of lipstick: “Akal ki Dawayi”!!
I’ve missed quite a few of her quotable quotes but that’s all I could recollect for now. I also know for a fact that I am finished if/ after she gets to read this one but its worth the abusives nonetheless.
P.S: Dedicated to G with contributions from Ap, T and V.
So this one goes to “G”: THE STAR!! :
- Ladkiyon…blah blah.. (That’s how we got addressed as!!).
- I am seriously serious guys… (She’s trying to make a point here..).
- Oye ladki!! (Individual addressing lingo..).
- “Everyone knows “G” in NIFT” (this ones true!!)
- ME: What are you doing?
G: Rangoli bana rahi hoon!! We had this conversation every morning while sitting in adjacent loos in the hostel !! (am soooo dead!!) ;)
- Life sudharo… (Her constant effort at improving our state of minds/ lifestyles, which she thinks is totally distrupted).
- G’s definition of lipstick: “Akal ki Dawayi”!!
I’ve missed quite a few of her quotable quotes but that’s all I could recollect for now. I also know for a fact that I am finished if/ after she gets to read this one but its worth the abusives nonetheless.
P.S: Dedicated to G with contributions from Ap, T and V.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Moving on!!
Quite recently one of my friend's relocated to another city for work and I could hear that excitement, nervousness, wierdness in his voice over the phone...
That reminded me of everytime I had moved to a new place: the butterflies in my stomach and the nervousness I felt which I didn't admit to anyone... But now when I recollect, I realise that it wasn't mere anxiety, it was an anticipation of being in a new place, surrounded by new things/people. There was a strange rush of adrenaline, this feeling of giddiness that overwhelms you only when either you are in love or in a new environment...
Now being in a job where I get to travel quite a bit, I have to confess that its an amazing feeling to absorb new surroundings, learning something new and being with new people... I realise that every place is unique and gives you its typical vibes that makes one like or dislike a place. It takes an instant for me to predict whether I would enjoy being there or not... Right or wrong, its worth the risk for the novelty of it all!! :)
That reminded me of everytime I had moved to a new place: the butterflies in my stomach and the nervousness I felt which I didn't admit to anyone... But now when I recollect, I realise that it wasn't mere anxiety, it was an anticipation of being in a new place, surrounded by new things/people. There was a strange rush of adrenaline, this feeling of giddiness that overwhelms you only when either you are in love or in a new environment...
Now being in a job where I get to travel quite a bit, I have to confess that its an amazing feeling to absorb new surroundings, learning something new and being with new people... I realise that every place is unique and gives you its typical vibes that makes one like or dislike a place. It takes an instant for me to predict whether I would enjoy being there or not... Right or wrong, its worth the risk for the novelty of it all!! :)
Monday, September 03, 2007
Broken lines...
A tiny stab of dissapointment...
She's losing touch...
The connection is fading...
The clues are vanishing...
.... probably its all for the best!!
She's losing touch...
The connection is fading...
The clues are vanishing...
.... probably its all for the best!!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Love you Papa..
My Dad spoils me crazy and I love him for it!! ;)
Yeh, I am the youngest of his three daughters and probably the most pampered one (I know each of us think that in our own right!)... At times I feel guilty of merely mentioning of wanting anything to Papa and he getting it for me. Once while talking to my parents I happened to say how spoilt I was and how they got me everything that I asked for... Here's what my dad said:
"Am happy that I am able to give what my children ask for... (shows how basic my demands are!! ;)) It has taken me time to reach here but I have."
Yeh, I am the youngest of his three daughters and probably the most pampered one (I know each of us think that in our own right!)... At times I feel guilty of merely mentioning of wanting anything to Papa and he getting it for me. Once while talking to my parents I happened to say how spoilt I was and how they got me everything that I asked for... Here's what my dad said:
"Am happy that I am able to give what my children ask for... (shows how basic my demands are!! ;)) It has taken me time to reach here but I have."
And so I continue to give that joy of "giving" to Papa and making him happy!! ;)
P.S: I love my Dad for a lot more things than just spoiling me, but this one feels the best!!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Momentary happiness..
The past week has been hectic even with Mr. Bully (read my boss) not around. But for once I am enjoying the work pressure after coming to this new work place of mine. There's no one to constantly nag me and bully me before the "Big Boss" and I have the freedom to work at my own pace... :)
I am working nearly 12 hours a day and yet having fun... But my days of happiness are short lived, he returns this Saturday!!
Dammit, why do the good times just seem to fly by??
I am working nearly 12 hours a day and yet having fun... But my days of happiness are short lived, he returns this Saturday!!
Dammit, why do the good times just seem to fly by??
Monday, August 27, 2007
Nostalgia..
On my last visit to home, I was forced by my mother to clean the drawers and cabinets of my study table. It’s a task I hate doing not because I am lazy or messy but because those cabinets are filled with memories that are at times a little painful to relive… Here’s what I found:
- Tons of cards and letters.
- Photographs of visit to the South on my school trip.
- Chocolate covers, loads of them!!
- Dried flowers.
- My slam books.
- Old journals.
- Friendship bands.
- Old test tubes!!
- All sorts of colour mediums- pencils, crayons, oil pastels, sketch pens, spray colours, markers…
- Old art files.
- More chocolate wrappings…
- “Love is...” clippings from newspapers, neatly stacked in an envelope…
- A (unused) diaper and a feeding bottle.
- Scribbled notes and doodles.
- My favorite poem “Daffodils” by William Wordsworth given to me by Ap during college.
- Chewed old pens and pencils.
- Old gift-wrappings.
- Old birthday pictures.
- Clippings of graphics and layouts that interested me back then…
- A copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach.
- A pendant.
- Memories…
Rummaging through my cabinets took me down the memory lane and I relived almost a decade, cherished a thousand moments and appreciated all that I had in life: my friends, all those happy and sad times… Am so nostalgic!!
P.S: My cabinets still remain in that state of total chaos.. ;)
- Tons of cards and letters.
- Photographs of visit to the South on my school trip.
- Chocolate covers, loads of them!!
- Dried flowers.
- My slam books.
- Old journals.
- Friendship bands.
- Old test tubes!!
- All sorts of colour mediums- pencils, crayons, oil pastels, sketch pens, spray colours, markers…
- Old art files.
- More chocolate wrappings…
- “Love is...” clippings from newspapers, neatly stacked in an envelope…
- A (unused) diaper and a feeding bottle.
- Scribbled notes and doodles.
- My favorite poem “Daffodils” by William Wordsworth given to me by Ap during college.
- Chewed old pens and pencils.
- Old gift-wrappings.
- Old birthday pictures.
- Clippings of graphics and layouts that interested me back then…
- A copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach.
- A pendant.
- Memories…
Rummaging through my cabinets took me down the memory lane and I relived almost a decade, cherished a thousand moments and appreciated all that I had in life: my friends, all those happy and sad times… Am so nostalgic!!
P.S: My cabinets still remain in that state of total chaos.. ;)
Monday, August 20, 2007
Welcome to Haryana!!
Staying in Gurgaon, a part of Haryana, the “femme fatale” here have to undergo a zillion trials posed by the supremely ruling male ego… They leave no opportunity to harass, bully and infuriate you by their open display of chauvinism. God forbid, if you are victimized, there would be no way out of it accept withdrawing gracefully or apologizing, even if it isn’t you mistake. And terror strikes if you have the audacity to disagree with them or show the slightest inclination to fight back for then you are subjected to harassment, abuse and even violence at times…
The above is an outpour of my anger at the incident that happened yesterday. My roomy and me were driving to someplace, the road to which is particularly bumpy and hence requires a lot of steering the car if one wants to avoid getting into huge potholes. Suddenly I hear an abuse followed by an instruction to stop the car. Fearing I had hurt someone, I stopped immediately and was surrounded by about eight men in an instant. They began screaming that I wasn’t driving properly. When I dared to ask what wrong had I done, this guy comes up with that while steering away from a humungous pothole, “on a straight road”, I hadn’t given an indicator. However, either of the cars showed no signs of damage and hence I dared to argue back. A mistake I realized soon enough when these people started raising their voices and I could see aggression in their eyes.
Slightly shaken, we apologized only to hear “bas aisa boliye na ki aapki galti hai”. All of them withdrew and we witnessed the ultimate of Haryanavi male ego.
However, this was not the end of it… As luck would have it, I bumped into the same set in the market and got to hear the comment: “marron kya??” (should I hit her?), while the other one answered: “rehne de!!”. We got pretty shaken and ended up running from the place.
Don’t know what should I be thinking by the end of it all… Can men go to this extent to prove their physical power over females? Would anybody have stood up had something happened? It gives me shudders to think of the answers…
The above is an outpour of my anger at the incident that happened yesterday. My roomy and me were driving to someplace, the road to which is particularly bumpy and hence requires a lot of steering the car if one wants to avoid getting into huge potholes. Suddenly I hear an abuse followed by an instruction to stop the car. Fearing I had hurt someone, I stopped immediately and was surrounded by about eight men in an instant. They began screaming that I wasn’t driving properly. When I dared to ask what wrong had I done, this guy comes up with that while steering away from a humungous pothole, “on a straight road”, I hadn’t given an indicator. However, either of the cars showed no signs of damage and hence I dared to argue back. A mistake I realized soon enough when these people started raising their voices and I could see aggression in their eyes.
Slightly shaken, we apologized only to hear “bas aisa boliye na ki aapki galti hai”. All of them withdrew and we witnessed the ultimate of Haryanavi male ego.
However, this was not the end of it… As luck would have it, I bumped into the same set in the market and got to hear the comment: “marron kya??” (should I hit her?), while the other one answered: “rehne de!!”. We got pretty shaken and ended up running from the place.
Don’t know what should I be thinking by the end of it all… Can men go to this extent to prove their physical power over females? Would anybody have stood up had something happened? It gives me shudders to think of the answers…
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Lesson of the Day!!
Life's like the tangled wires of my earphones set: the more you hurry untangling it, the more twisted they get...
But if you are patient and take it easy, you tidy it all in a bit...
But if you are patient and take it easy, you tidy it all in a bit...
Thursday, August 16, 2007
My favorite Doodle!! ;)
With nothing to do and a paper and pencil in hand, I doodle/ scribble/ jot down things... Above is one of the cartoons I love doing.Usually its not this refined but without a scanner and the whole of holiday at my disposal, I used Corel Draw to squiggle a bit!! ;)
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Strange are the ways of Life..
You begin talking to a complete stranger and you connect. In that unknown person you find a friend, a confidante, a soul barer. Its easy sharing your thoughts because the fear of being jugded, of being gossiped about does not exist. You confide beacuse this friendship which has no face, no identity, no expectations is secure, safe... You are learning new things, growing...
Years pass, time goes by and the bond strengthens. You start trusting, relying, getting dependant to an extent. Then BANG!! It all evaporates, the friend- once stranger is looking for more, more than that can be given, "more" that is impossible!!
Have you lost a friend??
Years pass, time goes by and the bond strengthens. You start trusting, relying, getting dependant to an extent. Then BANG!! It all evaporates, the friend- once stranger is looking for more, more than that can be given, "more" that is impossible!!
Have you lost a friend??
Monday, August 13, 2007
Random Thoughts.
I have been staying in the hospital for past one week and with nothing better to do, have been pondering on the state of my past/ present only to come to the following conclusion:
- My life is what I've made of it.
- Although things haven't gone my way, especially at the relationships front, I've lost the bitterness of the past year. I am glad that the people who've stuck by me, have; and am glad that the ones who left me have done me good too. :)
- I feel more secure now, more in my skin.
- My parents are awesome and so are my siblings. Love you all!!
- Saw how my parents stand by each other, saw how much my dad loves mom and how they communicate it without a word, even a gesture. This re-affirms my belief in the institution of marriage.
- My job is good, can do a lot with this kind of work experience.
- Am not sure if I want to get married right now, short-listing of guys has begun at home!!
- I have the freedom to choose. ;)
- Am content, mom's operation went well.
- I hope things get sorted out on the family front.
- Things are going smooth so far...wondering whats going to disrupt it all. Am keeping my fingers crossed.
Probably none of it makes sense to anyone, to me its the current state of affairs in my life.
- My life is what I've made of it.
- Although things haven't gone my way, especially at the relationships front, I've lost the bitterness of the past year. I am glad that the people who've stuck by me, have; and am glad that the ones who left me have done me good too. :)
- I feel more secure now, more in my skin.
- My parents are awesome and so are my siblings. Love you all!!
- Saw how my parents stand by each other, saw how much my dad loves mom and how they communicate it without a word, even a gesture. This re-affirms my belief in the institution of marriage.
- My job is good, can do a lot with this kind of work experience.
- Am not sure if I want to get married right now, short-listing of guys has begun at home!!
- I have the freedom to choose. ;)
- Am content, mom's operation went well.
- I hope things get sorted out on the family front.
- Things are going smooth so far...wondering whats going to disrupt it all. Am keeping my fingers crossed.
Probably none of it makes sense to anyone, to me its the current state of affairs in my life.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Whats with me??
Will I ever be loved/important enough for anyone to write a post on me or merely mention me in one??
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
And so I don't stop...
Its 9:30am in the morning and I am loaded with work. Yet, I have this sudden urge to write so I decide to keep my work aside and post a blog!!
Just went through a friend’s writings and realized that compared to hers, my postings are pretty sad…
- My English is too basic.
- My thoughts too repetitive.
- There’s hardly anything “that” exciting happening in my life.
- The blog seems to lack essence, spirit!!
- There is no signature style in my writing… or is there? Need help on this one from those few wonderful souls who go through my postings.
- Does what I do/feel/write matters to anyone?? Do I care? On this one I’d say: “Yes I do; evidence: this post!!
Inspite of the above, I don’t know how to improve so I shall continue what I enjoy doing without trying to bother whats thought of it all…
Just went through a friend’s writings and realized that compared to hers, my postings are pretty sad…
- My English is too basic.
- My thoughts too repetitive.
- There’s hardly anything “that” exciting happening in my life.
- The blog seems to lack essence, spirit!!
- There is no signature style in my writing… or is there? Need help on this one from those few wonderful souls who go through my postings.
- Does what I do/feel/write matters to anyone?? Do I care? On this one I’d say: “Yes I do; evidence: this post!!
Inspite of the above, I don’t know how to improve so I shall continue what I enjoy doing without trying to bother whats thought of it all…
Friday, July 27, 2007
Pottermania!!
Date: 21st July 2007
Place: Landmark Stores
Time: 6:30am
Occasion: Release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Nothing in the world can make me wake up so early in the morning except when its absolutely necessity driven. One of such instances was the day of the release of my favorite book: Harry Potter!!
Place: Landmark Stores
Time: 6:30am
Occasion: Release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Nothing in the world can make me wake up so early in the morning except when its absolutely necessity driven. One of such instances was the day of the release of my favorite book: Harry Potter!!
I have been awaiting this book for months, speculating with my friends the fate of Potter, fearing the worse… This was my second trip to Landmark, the previous one made the night before at 12 hoping that the book would be out by then as per IST standards. Was disappointed when the notice outside the store requested the fans to be patient and asked us to come at 6 in the morning.
Next morning, the alarm buzzed at the set time and there I was with my equally crazy flat mate at Landmark, which is a stone’s throw from my place… Pottermania had caught on and there were complete families buying books, people from Hindustan Times and some arbit channel interviewing the crowd. We too got our share of the glory and were asked for comments, clicked too in pajamas with that totally out-of-the-bed look. The reporter told us that we could see us on www after 5pm that eve or if luck were with us, the next day in the newspapers!! We were so proud of this achievement of ours, thinking that probably that’s the only time our parents would see us in any sort of media!!
Reached back home and the reading began, I couldn’t concentrate on work that day, Saturday working hours lasted for two hours and I managed to finish my book by Sunday morning (my flat mate is still on it!!).
Although we didn’t manage to make our mark anywhere on the publicity front, the book was a complete pleasure. Now I even have a PDF so I can refer to it at any time in the office and then there are friends online always to discuss the nitty-gritty of the book.
Way to go Rowling, can’t believe that there wouldn’t be any more Potter books to look forward to…
P.S: This piece has been on my mind for sometime now but could manage to post it today itself.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Happy Me.. . :)
Am done for the day and thinking about what I've achieved today, I would say: zilch, nothing!! And yet, surprisingly, I had a good day...
- My boss is out of town so there is nobody to stand on my head 24/7.
- My classmate has joined my office, although a different department, so there is at least someone to go out for lunch with.
- Discovered that I had about 1000 bucks in my account. It took me out of my condition of bankruptcy (as predicted earlier, thanks Tommy!! :P) and now I wouldn’t have to use my dad's card (he wouldn’t mind though)... Yippee!! ;)
- Came across the availability of the DVDs of this 80's show called "Wonder Years". Have been looking for it since ages, a must buy.
- Got another 1500 bucks as my office took pity on my current condition and reimbursed my long stuck phone bill. (Shit, am obsessed with money, guess I've never been in this condition before, hence a lil tough, will get used to it if I keep up my rate of shopping and refusing to take dad's help!!)
- My footwear samples are due tomorrow (after a lot of bickering with the vendor): am keeping my fingers crossed though!!
This brings an end to a day well gone and now am ready for some good food and my drive back home... Cheers!!
- My boss is out of town so there is nobody to stand on my head 24/7.
- My classmate has joined my office, although a different department, so there is at least someone to go out for lunch with.
- Discovered that I had about 1000 bucks in my account. It took me out of my condition of bankruptcy (as predicted earlier, thanks Tommy!! :P) and now I wouldn’t have to use my dad's card (he wouldn’t mind though)... Yippee!! ;)
- Came across the availability of the DVDs of this 80's show called "Wonder Years". Have been looking for it since ages, a must buy.
- Got another 1500 bucks as my office took pity on my current condition and reimbursed my long stuck phone bill. (Shit, am obsessed with money, guess I've never been in this condition before, hence a lil tough, will get used to it if I keep up my rate of shopping and refusing to take dad's help!!)
- My footwear samples are due tomorrow (after a lot of bickering with the vendor): am keeping my fingers crossed though!!
This brings an end to a day well gone and now am ready for some good food and my drive back home... Cheers!!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Its all YELLOW!! ;)
My last visit to Kolkata sucked... I mean, the day I landed, I came down with high temperature and working in those humid conditions was an ordeal in itself.
However, on my way to the city from the airport, I noticed that Kolkata had a colour to it: YELLOW!! Yeh right, every 2 minutes you would encounter that brightest of hues: the cabs, billboards, buildings, buses, clothes, plastic on construction sites, even the food had this extra bit of turmeric!!
Though I couldn't click all that I would have liked to, here are a few pieces of that YELLOW evidence I spotted there...
Friday, July 20, 2007
Shadow Billboard..
Just came across this brilliant billboard by World Wildlife Federation on one of the sites I was browsing through. It demonstrates the rise of water by an extremely effective use of shadows... 'twas so cool that couldn't help but put it on my blog..
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I wish...
At times I wish I weren't this practical and paid a lil more attention to what my heart said...
Monday, July 09, 2007
Freedom to be!!
Life seems so simple and complicated all at once... On one hand I know what I want but I am not sure how badly I want it. There are times when I've had a very bad day, I want to quit everything (I do have that option!!), go home, get married, have about a hundred kids, spend my husband's money and die catering to their needs, with no essence of my individuality stamped anywhere...
And then this whole idea revolts me. I am a little too selfish not to think about myself, a little too ambitious to die without achieveing anything, too individualistic to go along with someone else's beliefs and too proud to survive not on my own money!! So I choose freedom, freedom to be myself, to live life on my own terms, to enjoy it, to have no regrets when its time to say tata... Thus my stuggle continues, the fight with all the horrible days of my life and see them through, all for my FREEDOM!!
And then this whole idea revolts me. I am a little too selfish not to think about myself, a little too ambitious to die without achieveing anything, too individualistic to go along with someone else's beliefs and too proud to survive not on my own money!! So I choose freedom, freedom to be myself, to live life on my own terms, to enjoy it, to have no regrets when its time to say tata... Thus my stuggle continues, the fight with all the horrible days of my life and see them through, all for my FREEDOM!!
Friday, July 06, 2007
Damn temptations!! ;)
Month beginning, higher salary than the previous job and am already bankrupt!! Got tempted and bought a Tommy watch for myself and throughout the month I am going to stare at it and wait for the time to pass, the month to end... All for an expensive temptation!!
Or should I ask Dad for money...NAH!! :p
Or should I ask Dad for money...NAH!! :p
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Given Up!!
Life teaches us lessons every now and then, when we least expect it to, when we think that our past is behind us and we are ready to move on…
Most of the times in my life, I’ve pretended to be a very strong person, not bothered by certain circumstances when in reality, all along I’ve been feeling like crap… I haven’t discussed these problems with anyone, believing that I did not need any form of sympathy, that my problems were but mine and mostly because they were a too private part of my being and sharing them would be unfair… However, I didn’t realize that because of this I had alienated myself, separated me from the rest… I had begun to avoid people fearing that the temptation of trusting someone would get to me…
However, after almost an year of trying to be strong, trying to make people believe that I am the cool headed one, trying to laugh at my problems, I give up!!
Now I admit that it hurts when something you’ve wanted most in life doesn’t work out, when the life you’ve imagined for yourself ceases to exist and the worst when you regret being strong only to realize that your not sharing the troubles has distanced yourself from your friends… and you find yourself all alone!!
Most of the times in my life, I’ve pretended to be a very strong person, not bothered by certain circumstances when in reality, all along I’ve been feeling like crap… I haven’t discussed these problems with anyone, believing that I did not need any form of sympathy, that my problems were but mine and mostly because they were a too private part of my being and sharing them would be unfair… However, I didn’t realize that because of this I had alienated myself, separated me from the rest… I had begun to avoid people fearing that the temptation of trusting someone would get to me…
However, after almost an year of trying to be strong, trying to make people believe that I am the cool headed one, trying to laugh at my problems, I give up!!
Now I admit that it hurts when something you’ve wanted most in life doesn’t work out, when the life you’ve imagined for yourself ceases to exist and the worst when you regret being strong only to realize that your not sharing the troubles has distanced yourself from your friends… and you find yourself all alone!!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Addicted...
Past two days have been hell for me, reason being: MY CELL PHONE IS NOT WORKING!! I mean these two days made me realize how addictive I was to technology. Yesterday my condition was like: my phone wasn’t working, my laptop had no charge and icing on the cake, there was no electricity, I couldn’t even read and so I resigned myself to the fate and I thought!! I thought about my desperation to be connected to the world somehow, I thought of the days when I didn’t possess any of these and it made no difference to my life, I thought about the previous hours I had spent running around the place to get my cell back in shape (without success obviously), I thought about how I had my parents all frantic thinking that they had not paid my bill and hence the disconnection (yes, my parents still pay my phone bills inspite of the fact that I am earning now and can very well afford to pay them, that’s my dad’s way of keeping a check on my life, smart move I must say!!) only to realize that it was not the case at all, there is a problem with the instrument…
From the above I just concluded that no matter how hard I try to console myself that I can stay without these amenities, I know that I cannot and probably never will: AM ADDICTED!!
From the above I just concluded that no matter how hard I try to console myself that I can stay without these amenities, I know that I cannot and probably never will: AM ADDICTED!!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Untitled.
About two months back, after almost a year of being home for a very long time, I moved back to a new job, new life… Things weren’t going good for me the past year and as I’ve previously mentioned, I was virtually desperate for some sort of “decorum” in my life, and after moving out, I got it.
Now I design footwear, something which I love to do. The work is pretty tedious and by the end of the day when I get back from office, I am completely deflated, have my dinner, chit-chat a bit with my flat mates and then with my friends on the phone and dose off. My parents have been awesome and even got me a car when I told them how difficult commuting was and hence things are pretty smooth for me. I go for movies, shop, go for late night drives, earn decently, have a great family, awesome friends and yet there’s this emptiness to life, something missing in this almost perfect life of mine.
There’s something that keeps nagging me, some kind of insecurity that’s gone to my head and I constantly fear losing the people I love…
I have no clue why am putting it on the blog, why I am sharing my fears with people I don’t know yet there’s some sort of pleasure unburdening myself here,on this blog and that’s the best justification I can give of putting this stuff here which would rather be in my diary…
Now I design footwear, something which I love to do. The work is pretty tedious and by the end of the day when I get back from office, I am completely deflated, have my dinner, chit-chat a bit with my flat mates and then with my friends on the phone and dose off. My parents have been awesome and even got me a car when I told them how difficult commuting was and hence things are pretty smooth for me. I go for movies, shop, go for late night drives, earn decently, have a great family, awesome friends and yet there’s this emptiness to life, something missing in this almost perfect life of mine.
There’s something that keeps nagging me, some kind of insecurity that’s gone to my head and I constantly fear losing the people I love…
I have no clue why am putting it on the blog, why I am sharing my fears with people I don’t know yet there’s some sort of pleasure unburdening myself here,on this blog and that’s the best justification I can give of putting this stuff here which would rather be in my diary…
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Reading helps.
As you must have already guessed by now, I am highly influenced by what I read. The following is another such example which has proved to be quite true for me... It goes like:
God sends us the right people, exactly when we need them. At times they fulfill that momentary need and go away and at other times, they linger on and make our lives better...
Ever wondered why we end up finding that one person who can cheer us up at the gloomiest of times??
God sends us the right people, exactly when we need them. At times they fulfill that momentary need and go away and at other times, they linger on and make our lives better...
Ever wondered why we end up finding that one person who can cheer us up at the gloomiest of times??
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Whats smelling??
Strange as it may sound, smells leave a lasting impact on my mind and I often end up associating people and places with them. At times these fragrances are used by me or the people around but a lot of times I tend to pick them up at the most random places like the coffee shop I visit often or like that smell of green apple that just grew on me.
Basically, smells leave an enthralling effect on me and I couldn’t resist from writing about something that intrigues and fascinates my senses as they do… So here’s a short list of them that I could recollect, mostly the ones that I am conscious of…
- Fresh paint.
- Green apple candle
- Clean hands
- Infants, just after they’ve had a bath.
- Roses
- Coffee
- That tangy smell of the aftershave my dad wears.
- Soil, post rains.
- Clothes washed and dried.
- Baby Johnson’s powder
- Chocolate.
- Orange peel
- Gucci/ Lacoste
An addition of any other smells you like is welcome. Probably they would be ones I myself like but am unaware of or some new ones I’ve never kown… so feel free and add on…
Basically, smells leave an enthralling effect on me and I couldn’t resist from writing about something that intrigues and fascinates my senses as they do… So here’s a short list of them that I could recollect, mostly the ones that I am conscious of…
- Fresh paint.
- Green apple candle
- Clean hands
- Infants, just after they’ve had a bath.
- Roses
- Coffee
- That tangy smell of the aftershave my dad wears.
- Soil, post rains.
- Clothes washed and dried.
- Baby Johnson’s powder
- Chocolate.
- Orange peel
- Gucci/ Lacoste
An addition of any other smells you like is welcome. Probably they would be ones I myself like but am unaware of or some new ones I’ve never kown… so feel free and add on…
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
All that I want…
Here’s a list of qualities I want in a guy, I know its not possible and I also know for a fact that even if such a guy exists, I just might not be attracted to him but nonetheless, here’s my list…
This one should be:
- Honest
- Crazy
- Sensible
- Handsome
- Intelligent
- Flirt with me.
- Protective
- Should buy me flowers… and chocolates once in a while, without any reason.
- Should call me thin even when am bloating, and “yet” be honest!!
- He has to make me laugh… a lot.
- Believe in a bit of charity.
- Let me be stupid…
- MUST RESPECT MY PARENTS
- A person I can talk to for hours…
- Must have nice hands.
- He has to smell good.
- Patient, after all he’s with me!!
- Intuitive.
- Interesting
- Witty
- Funny
- Must dance well and be able to make me dance… a bit to his own tunes as well… ;)
- Give me space and yet care.
- Love to travel.
- Enjoy art.
- Respect my dreams and ambitions.
- Respect my work.
- Take me to a very expensive restaurant for candle light dinner, just once a year.
- Pamper me for no reason.
- Love to talk, and talk ... and talk more, and then listen too.
- Let me shop.
- Help me shop!!
- Have an opinion.
- Respect my independence.
- Take me to a proper date, with flowers and works!!
- Take me to Opera, once in my lifetime.
- Fun
- Surprise me.
- Must be clean.
- NEVER take me for granted.
- BE IN LOVE WITH ME!!
I wonder if someone like the above exists but whats the harm in dreaming!!;)
This one should be:
- Honest
- Crazy
- Sensible
- Handsome
- Intelligent
- Flirt with me.
- Protective
- Should buy me flowers… and chocolates once in a while, without any reason.
- Should call me thin even when am bloating, and “yet” be honest!!
- He has to make me laugh… a lot.
- Believe in a bit of charity.
- Let me be stupid…
- MUST RESPECT MY PARENTS
- A person I can talk to for hours…
- Must have nice hands.
- He has to smell good.
- Patient, after all he’s with me!!
- Intuitive.
- Interesting
- Witty
- Funny
- Must dance well and be able to make me dance… a bit to his own tunes as well… ;)
- Give me space and yet care.
- Love to travel.
- Enjoy art.
- Respect my dreams and ambitions.
- Respect my work.
- Take me to a very expensive restaurant for candle light dinner, just once a year.
- Pamper me for no reason.
- Love to talk, and talk ... and talk more, and then listen too.
- Let me shop.
- Help me shop!!
- Have an opinion.
- Respect my independence.
- Take me to a proper date, with flowers and works!!
- Take me to Opera, once in my lifetime.
- Fun
- Surprise me.
- Must be clean.
- NEVER take me for granted.
- BE IN LOVE WITH ME!!
I wonder if someone like the above exists but whats the harm in dreaming!!;)
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Positive Thinking!!
Following is a conversation that I had with one of my friend recently:
ME: Chinese astrology says that this was supposed to be one of the best years of my life… some year!! This has been the worse year yet, both personally and professionally.
@$@$@: Hmm… probably not so. Probably the lessons you’ve learnt this year will be with you for the rest of your life and make your future better… probably the kind of learning, growth you’ve achieved this year would have otherwise taken ages. Maybe this year, with all its hassles have opened your eyes to what “you” really want in life… want out of relationships...
There are certain discussions in ones life that make you see things more clearly, accept situations in a better fashion, and alter the way you think: this one did it for me!!
ME: Chinese astrology says that this was supposed to be one of the best years of my life… some year!! This has been the worse year yet, both personally and professionally.
@$@$@: Hmm… probably not so. Probably the lessons you’ve learnt this year will be with you for the rest of your life and make your future better… probably the kind of learning, growth you’ve achieved this year would have otherwise taken ages. Maybe this year, with all its hassles have opened your eyes to what “you” really want in life… want out of relationships...
There are certain discussions in ones life that make you see things more clearly, accept situations in a better fashion, and alter the way you think: this one did it for me!!
Monday, December 04, 2006
I believe!!
"If you haven't got something you wanted, then probably you've not wanted it hard enough!!"
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Mishthi..
Once in a while God sends someone so special in your life that it changes completely and you cannot imagine your existence without him/her. Something similar happened to me years back when my niece was born, my miracle baby. I remember the cold January night when my father and brother-in-law woke me up and told us that Mishthi had happened (almost a month in advance) and we went to the hospital, all excited to see the first grandchild in our family, without even realizing that my world was about to change the moment I took that tiny bundle in my arms.
She was the size of my palm and that tiniest of creatures began teaching me my lessons well in advance, beginning from the changing of diapers. Although she has grown pretty quickly since then (seven years to be precise), each time I see her I am filled with a sense of wonder, pride and love. Mishthi has made me understand the meaning of unconditional love, sharing but most of all the magic of me growing up and learning with her…and for that I thank God. (And of course my sis and my brother-in law too, without whose efforts my life would not have been half as happy as it is now!!;))
She was the size of my palm and that tiniest of creatures began teaching me my lessons well in advance, beginning from the changing of diapers. Although she has grown pretty quickly since then (seven years to be precise), each time I see her I am filled with a sense of wonder, pride and love. Mishthi has made me understand the meaning of unconditional love, sharing but most of all the magic of me growing up and learning with her…and for that I thank God. (And of course my sis and my brother-in law too, without whose efforts my life would not have been half as happy as it is now!!;))
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Confused: Again...
In this world of no blacks and whites but only grays, where being neutral is the only way, where “striking the balance” is the mantra, can’t a person be both ethical yet compassionate??
Is being practical, selfish, a little self-centered yet NOT being a bad person after all possible??
Don’t most of do what is the best for US and then try to find a way to justify our selfishness by promoting the fact that we are actually helping the society?? And is it that wrong to think about oneself, to be ambitious, to want to get the best in life and does it imply that such a person cannot love anyone else, (after all it is said that love is selfless but aren’t you in love with that person to somewhere fulfill that need within you, a need to love, to care, to feel needed, wanted!!) care for anybody, be helpful??
I don’t know what I mean by the above defenses, whether I actually have a point or am plainly confused and contradicting myself or for that matter, justifying my actions…
Care to throw some light??
Is being practical, selfish, a little self-centered yet NOT being a bad person after all possible??
Don’t most of do what is the best for US and then try to find a way to justify our selfishness by promoting the fact that we are actually helping the society?? And is it that wrong to think about oneself, to be ambitious, to want to get the best in life and does it imply that such a person cannot love anyone else, (after all it is said that love is selfless but aren’t you in love with that person to somewhere fulfill that need within you, a need to love, to care, to feel needed, wanted!!) care for anybody, be helpful??
I don’t know what I mean by the above defenses, whether I actually have a point or am plainly confused and contradicting myself or for that matter, justifying my actions…
Care to throw some light??
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